Start with a floor tie rather than going straight into suspension, says Rucifer. This ensures that you practice the proper methods before jumping into in-air suspension. They see me as a safe way to try the experience without being hit on. They want to feel bound, beautiful and feminine – just as I did when I first started.’ For people who don’t buy into those problematic narratives today, they can enjoy Shibari as part of their own variation of kinky bondage play," she assures. "Is Shibari a spiritual practice in Japan? No. Might some Shibari lovers in Japan and the rest of the world find moments of emotional catharsis in Shibari? Sure. Do some of these folks make it their own form of spiritual exploration? Yes." But she stresses that this isn’t unique to Shibari. It’s been so for people who enjoy other forms of kink, such as leather bondage, flogging, ordeal play, and dominance and submission — to name a few. When I am tied myself I still get that sense of quiet inside my head – the space where my thoughts aren’t racing at a million miles an hour.

Being the centre of someone’s full attention is intoxicating, seductive, intimidating and demanding.’ How did you learn the ropes (sorry!)? Shibari is a form of bondage using ropes and originated in Japan," adds Holly Richmond, PhD, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist. "They use specific types of rope made out of hemp.” She also adds that the social media side of Shibari can purposely make Shibari ropes look overly complex, but if it suits you, Shibari beginners are welcome to tie whatever ropes they can manage, and giggle their way through the process. It doesn’t have to be a serious situation. "You don’t have to study and master complex forms that might not even be healthy for you or your partner’s body. A few basic ties and maybe a simple body harness [which you can learn from coaches online or in a beginner’s Shibari class] is fine, good, and hot for most people."

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Simply put, shibari is the act of tying up a person for aesthetic purposes—maybe in a pretty or intricate pattern, typically by using some form of rope. And while shibari is most often used as a means for sexual pleasure, historically, it’s been used as a form of meditation, relaxation, and trust-building practice between two partners, says sexpert Gabi Levi. Members of the BDSM community are already frequently let down, misinterpreted, and inaccurately portrayed in the media."

If your curiosity about sexy physical restraints has led you to the internet, it's possible you've come across Shibari, or Japanese rope bondage.

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There’s much more to Shibari than what you saw on screen. Here’s everything you need to know about Shibari, according to a Shibari expert and a sex therapist. So, what is Shibari? Viewers of House of Hammer will understandably have questions about Shibari and Kinbaku, but those shouldn't be answered by someone accused of committing acts of sexual violence. There are dangerous implications with allowing Hammer, an alleged abuser, to define and discuss any form of BDSM — and to conflate consensual sexual practice with abuse. The sensation was totally unexpected… I was really nervous but wrapped and suspended I just felt amazing freedom. When I moved south I found there was a gap in the local area so I gathered my courage and set up South Coast Shibari.