Here is a list of funny willie nelson jokes and even better willie nelson puns that will make you laugh with friends. After hours and hours of feverish typing, the power goes out. The Devil is enraged, but Jesus remains calm. As soon as the power is restored, he restarts his computer and loses all of his work, only to see Jesus calmly typing from where he left off. Lucifer is furious, accusing Jesus of being a liar, before God intervenes and declares Jesus the victor. My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support. The thing I don’t get about paedophilia… Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?” – Frankie Boyle Some other filthy jokes:

What did the gardener say to his scarecrow? “Don’t be silly, wrap your hat, Willy! We don’t want any crows sneaking in!” Why did the tailor disregard the slogan “Don’t be silly, wrap your willy”? Because he believed in the perfect fit of his tailored suit!

His next shot is even further off. “Jesus Christ! Missed again.” The man yells in anger. The priest explains again, how the man mustn’t use the Lord’s name in vain. Tommy Cooper– "Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off." Instead, it seems the famous feud has quietened down for a more wholesome message. After being presented with the cheese to the factory, Kevin asks the wholesome question 'can I share my good fortune with everyone?'. The ad concludes with the charming closing message 'Seasonal goodwill was truly in the air as Christmas is a time that's sweeter when you share'.

As a teenager I was confused that there was lots of different words for ‘sex’. I thought each of the words for ‘sex’ meant something distinct. I thought there were many more different kinds of sex things that I was going to have to get my head around before I became an adult. But then I realised that most of them referred to the same sort of basic penis penetration stuff. And that’s how I came to understand the richness of the English language.” – David Mitchell He needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?" Why did the mechanic ignore the advice to “Don’t be silly, wrap your willy”? Because he believed in the power of a well-oiled engine! I lost my virginity under a bridge. I was having sex with this poor girl and I was trying my best, but I was like Scotland at the World Cup – just happy to be there.” – Russell Howard The next day, another man goes to the beach and sees the same woman crying by the shoreline. He asks her what’s wrong.And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.