Let's also start from a premise in which I have no children. The four small people wandering around my home are a tribe of nomads and they are just passing through so I have no dog in this fight regarding the best way to raise children. Because I don't have four of them so my self worth isn't riding on the outcome of this debate. It also taps into the British self-flagellation previously aired in the 2004 dieting tome French Women Don't Get Fat.

The New York Times Wins an Emmy (Its Tenth)". The New York Times Company. 6 October 2017 . Retrieved 16 August 2023. Dem kann ich in einigen Punkten nicht zustimmen, denn eigentlich ist das kein Erziehungsratgeber, die Autorin berichtet in einer Mischung aus persönlichen Anekdoten und wissenschaftlichen Forschungsergebnissen davon, wie unterschiedlich Kindererziehung in Frankreich und Amerika gehandhabt wird. Wer sich aber tatsächliche Erziehungstipps erwartet, wird sie in diesem Roman nicht finden, es gibt zwar schon einige Punkte, in denen recht konkret beschrieben wird, wie französische Familien mit Erziehungsfragen umgehen, der Großteil bleibt aber vage. There are far too many references to one extreme example of American parenting gone wrong and far too many examples of a few observations of French parenting gone right. But that's the thing—this modern version of American parenting? ATTACHMENT parenting, as they call it? It's the antithesis of the way the French do it and, I believe, the way Americans USED to parent, 30 to 40 years ago. (In short, I think it's all a bit nutty). What is most infuriating about this book is how many people say it’s a must read for new parents. I am a new parent, I don’t have time to waste on crap like this!There were a lot of positive points too (those that either I or the author found positive). There were all those good bits about French parenting like recognising but allowing children to make 'betises' (little naughty acts that don't warrant an over-reaction), encouraging children to develop a broad appreciation for different foods and the parents not giving up ALL of their selves/time to their children (though I do note, somewhat uneasily, that in French films where adults are the main characters, we may not realise at all that they are parents, or if we learn this, the children are rarely even SEEN, let alone have any part in the story). But if you're triggered by like, A LOT of weight loss around pregnancy talk, or women who expect zero help from their husbands as they seemingly single handedly raise children, keep House, have a job, and keep their bodies tight, just ask someone to give you the highlights.

Some have complained that the author's comments are observational, not scientific. True. But that makes her observations and comments no less valid; or, even, less true. French women are often loth to leave the arena of womanhood and enter that of motherhood. They do not define themselves as mothers and don't want to be defined as such. For American and British women, motherhood has become such a big event in our lives. It's amazing that women's liberation has brought us to this extreme that motherhood is the coolest thing to do in your life. She received a bachelor's degree in philosophy from Colgate University and a master's in international affairs from Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs in 1998. [3] If you’re expecting step-by-step guidance on how to bring up your children, you’ll be disappointed, but if you’re looking for themes on how to raise your children so they act appropriately in social situations and how you won’t lose your own identity, then it does deliver. In the end, I got bored and quit reading half way through. It's not an awful book . . . just somewhat pointless. I would much rather have read a memoir about being a parent in Paris rather than a parenting "instructive" book on the same.every chapter was just generalization after generalization - All french mothers do this and it works, and all american mothers do this and look how we hover. Her discussion of The Pause was great in the same way; while she framed it mostly to do with listening to children and their needs (extremely important), I feel like it also gives parents a moment to gather themselves as well. I can imagine stumbling into a dark bedroom at night where a crying child lay, and just doing anything to help them. That makes complete sense. But forcing yourself to stop for a second gives you the parent a moment to think, not just for the kid's sake, but so you don't live your life feeling like you're on a high wire. She added: "We consider our children to be small people, but they are not equal to an adult. They need authority, they need rules and they need to be kept in line. A child is a child and has his place. In France we see authority as a form of affection and believe that a child blossoms because of, not in spite of, that authority. The bottom line is my child can have his own opinion, but it's me who decides." However, this does not mean they are not under pressure. They may accept the pressures of their society, which are very different from ours, but that is not the same as not feeling them. For example, weight control is a national obsession among the French. Not having regained your figure three months after giving birth is considered shameful. Literally. French husbands, doctors, relatives, friends, all feel that a woman who has not lost her pregnancy weight by three months is failing her duty as a wife and woman and will tell her so.

While I had the underlying thought that maybe it wouldn't be fun, it conflicted with the idea of, "Well, maybe it *could* be. I mean, it can't all be bad." And what the author describes as the "French" method of parenting is pretty much word for word how I always thought I would be as a parent, particularly when discussing the magic of the word "no." I just never got that. I never understood why parents act as though seeing their kids cry for the stupidest reasons was going to break them psychologically. Granted, I have the benefit of working with toddlers and preschoolers, so I've seen tantrums over everything under the sun, which has given me the benefit of some practice/foresight. In that sense, this book is a great resource to sort of get your head in the game before the newbie gets here; make some loose decisions about what you're going to do beforehand and the it's easier to follow through. I was originally going to read the first couple of chapters, which deal with infants, and stop there. But much to my surprise, this was a far better book than I had imagined. What I was expecting was another pat, self-help-section miracle solution to everyone's parenting woes type of book (the endorsement by and comparison to French Women Don't Get Fat wasn't helping). What I found instead was an honest, informative, well-researched, and well-written account of an American mother raising children in Paris - and trying to understand the sometimes startling cultural differences she saw.Let me start by saying that I could write a doctoral thesis on this book. You know, if I were a lot smarter and still in school and hadn't had to look up how to spell "thesis". I was at an English friend's house and her six-year-old son was thumping the piano as we were trying to speak. His mother said 'yes that's lovely, but not so loud'. He just carried on. I said to myself if this was France the child would have been hauled off to another part of the room and made to stop. British parental culture is very relaxed, while we terrorise our children."