Bell, here’s my read on your situation — your husband cheats on you. You respond to that threat by thinking you can contain that threat by joining him in some sexual adventuresomeness. Hey, dude, all you had to do was ask my permission. Instead of being grateful for this gift, he abuses it and moreover uses it as a pretext to continue cheating on you. Hey, if you’ll do a threesome, then you can’t be offended by a hooker! I think that most elements of the story are real. I also think that she actively lied (not married but saying she is makes her look better, in her own mind) and lied by omission (she’s left out her side… the nitty gritty part where she’s betrayed him as well. Likely, it’s been the entire time… except when she’s employed in growing and birthing and maintaining small people.) So true. For a long time I thought.. if I were only more interesting in bed, if I only wore high heels more, if I were only less tired and more focused on him instead of our kids.. blah blah blah. Truth is, none of that would have prevented him from doing this. He does these things because he wants to- because he’s selfish. That’s it.. no other reason. It isn’t because you are inadequate, not pretty enough, not sexy enough, not loving enough, don’t make meatloaf for dinner enough.. it has nothing to do with any of those things. It’s THEM. They are screwed up. THEY CHANGE. We go on being loyal partners, taking the good with the bad, living life, raising kids, wiping the noses and asses, and they start telling themselves (often with the urging of a whore on the side) that they are worth “more” and they deserve “more”. That this boring mundane existence can’t be “all there is”. My STBX is all about himself. Talked to one of his family members yesterday she said all he talks about is himself.. what he’s doing, his place, how he is going to start “dating”.. like a 16 year old boy. No mention of me.. his loyal wife that he threw away like trash. No mention of the boys whose lives he has thrown into chaos- their emotional state. No mention of the pain he’s caused not only us, but extended family, friends, etc. It’s all about him and his new fabulousness. He sets up a “surprise appointment” with someone without telling you, so you walk into this situation unaware – forcing you to make a decision that could harm you physically and emotionally on the spot?

Well, you have a short memory," says his wife, "Don't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, we received help from a stranger? I think you should help him out. You should be ashamed of yourself!" Full disclosure: I am sexually adventurous. I’ve willingly and happily participated in a few threesomes. I identify as heterosexual, but I also like kissing girls once in a blue moon. Hey, go figure. I would probably be described as a bit of a wild thing by those who know me well, and I’m great with that. My sexual identity leans toward “I’m ok, you’re ok. If it ain’t illegal and it sounds fun, let’s try it.” But this doesn’t mean people in polyamorous, polygamous or polyandryous relationships are doomed over Hetero-monogamous couples, they just have a different set of hurdles and relationship dynamics that will never work for certain people (such as myself; I can’t romantically share my husband, I wouldn’t expect him to share me. I could never be in a plural marriage). After a two year investigation, Spencer was jailed for 12 years in 2014, after being found guilty of 14 counts of arranging or facilitating child prostitution and two counts of inciting child prostitution.

True confession: I slept with my husband's boss for money

Your sexual boundary pushing doesn’t mean you have no boundaries. He’s acting dumb, because no boundaries and no conditions is exactly the situation your husband wants. (How do I know this? Because that is the way he behaves.) Trampling your boundaries, no matter how far you stretch them, is part of the fun for him. It’s disrespectful, dangerous, and it’s a huge power trip. Hi, I am A slut and am looking to be pimped out. I would love to have a pimp putting me out on the street's It is a thing I have been wanting for a long time.

Anyways, that’s my life and relationship in a nut shell. We had our first round of couples counseling yesterday and I don’t think he is a narcissist or evil or intentionally trying to screw with me or hurt me; I think we have serious issues to work out (if possible) and I never went through the healthy stages of grief and what have you after the hooker choice and it’s been sitting there like a toxic bubble just under the surface impacting everything.

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That is a conversation you have to have with yourself, before you can ever have it with someone else. I don’t think most of us do that — because we don’t know how important that self determination is until our core value system has been violated. There may be a great deal of variance to what activities one person prefers as opposed to another person — I am sure I did not have the right conversations before I got married. I didn’t think I had to — that’s how big of a chump I was. I thought promising to be faithful was enough, that that is what wedding vows were designed to do.

Western women are fed a constant stream of this brainwashing, so it’s no surprise they’re perpetually dissatisfied with their marriages and want to get divorced ASAP so they can go find the handsome millionaire Prince Charming they’re convinced they deserve. I’m sorry. I did stop when you said you weren’t up for it. [By stop he means he stopped sending my pictures to random internet people, he didn’t delete his account or end sifting through other peoples profiles.] I just remember you fantasizing about it when you were drunk and I was just curious at the time. That’s why I did what I did. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I didn’t try to hide it from you if that makes a difference. I told you about it right away. The bottom line is that I didn’t know my actions at the time would make you feel the way you do now. Otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry.” You’ve drawn the line in the sand for your husband but he keeps jumping over it. It’s incumbent on you to decide if you want to be with someone who disrespects you by doing that. You don’t need permission to enforce your boundaries. It’s your right. If this is a deal breaker for you, it’s also your right to leave. I agree entirely with you KarenE. It doesn’t matter what our sexual preferences are, if we want to say ‘this line says it’s unacceptable’ then that should be that. To say otherwise is to state that a prostitute cannot be raped, and that is patently untrue.What she witnessed there didn’t only show female sexual fluidity in action in humans; it also busted another myth, she says – that women cheat for emotional connection. What’s so exciting is there’s relatively new science and social science that flies in the face of the holy triumvirate of beliefs about male versus female sexuality: the first being that the male libido is stronger than the female libido; the second being that women are more naturally monogamous; and the third being that women are the enforcers of monogamy and are more cosy and domestic than men,” she says. For some strange reason, a lot of the cheating propaganda suggests that cheating women are more interested in some sort of emotional bond vs pure sex, as opposed to men. That seems like bullshit to me, as many of the women I know, and especially those who cheat, have voracious sexual appetites. In an honest woman, that is a good thing, IMO. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. With cheaters everywhere, pay attention to what they do, and pay no attention to what they say. Your husband’s actions are sending you a very clear message — he’s going to get his sexual jollies with other people whether you consent to it or not.