Now that you know how to be a dom, let’s talk about why millions of men and women around the world fantasize about Dom/sub sex. What is it that makes dominance and submission so appealing? Well… He Gets to Be Selfish

Group sex is the epitome of kink and most of us have fantasised about inviting additional people into the bedroom for a threesome or an orgy. However, with relationship hang-ups and safety measures to consider, group sex with friends does not always translate that well into real life. The easiest way to dip your toe in the multiples pond is to invite a stranger to join you (easily done via most dating apps now) or attend a sex party to see how it feels first. We hear Killing Kittens is a great place to start. 6. Swinging One of the main reasons guys enjoy being Doms is that it lets them be more selfish in the bedroom. They get to dictate what happens, and a lot of guys find that power thrilling. To find out if you’re one of them, let’s try a little thought experiment. We are an organization dedicated to female led relationships, female led communities and female led projects of all kinds. Associated with the British Pop art movement of the late 1960s, Jones is known for his work with lithography, painting, drawing, and sculpture. The Cass Sculpture Foundation wrote about Jones' work that "on a flat canvas, painted forms appear sculptural and his three-dimensional works are painterly. He uses colour to describe form, at times with graphic precision, or conversely with an energy and freedom of gesture which is close to direct expression. Similar developments are evident in his printmaking." The Tate has described his output in lithography as "prolific," writing that it "proved an appropriate medium for his graphic flair." Artists and pop fashion designers such as Alexander McQueen, Issey Miyake and Richard Nicoll have cited Jones as an influence on their own styles.While Dom/sub dynamics are primarily found in kink, they actually play out in most forms of sex. One person is usually the more submissive partner, while the other is more dominant. But within the context of BDSM, these dynamics become even more explicit. BDSM stands for bondage, Dominance/Dominant, submissive/submission, and sadomasochism. This is when two or more people engage in consensual power exchange. The sub willingly hands over the power within the scene to the Dominant. Power dynamics exist in regular vanilla sex too. There’s always a top and a bottom; a ‘less-powerful’ and a ‘more-powerful’ participant. With D/s sex, we just take those roles and dial them up so that the dominant partner is even more dominant, and the submissive partner is even more submissive. Being dominant is as much about self-control as it is about control of the scene. You need to make sure that you don’t get carried away and that you’re someone your partner can trust at all times. Stepping outside of the boundaries you’ve agreed on can instantly destroy that trust. Essential BDSM Toys, Tools, and Props for Doms

Littles — this category of submission involves subs that enjoy age play. They tend to roleplay younger age behaviors and want their Doms to act as caregivers. They might enjoy giving their Dom the title ‘Daddy.’ You’ll need to talk to your partner about how you’re going to carry out those power roles in your everyday life and set out expectations. You can’t completely deprive your sub of agency or power, so you might have to ‘tone down’ the roles you usually play in the bedroom. It’s crucial that you understand this and that you don’t take the whole ‘control’ thing too literally. One of the biggest misconceptions about Domming is that it involves him ‘ forcing’ her to do whatever he wants — that’s NOT what it’s about.

The importance of aftercare post-kink play.

Chokers are a great, stylish signaling piece that you can have your sub wear in and out of the bedroom. Why People Like Dom/sub Relationships One of my most loyal and thoughtful submissives just bought me a new car. He offered me any car I wanted and I chose one that fits my personal life instead of one that you would imagine a famous dominatrix driving. It’s a minivan. It breaks all stereotypes and is perfect.

What does this tell us? It tells us that, if you want to satisfy your partner in bed, you need to learn how to dominate her. You need to learn to wear the pants, be more selfish, and act like the alpha you are. When we play the part of Dom, we act selfishly in bed and use the sub for our own pleasure. This makes your sub feel like you can’t keep your hands off them because you want them so much. That desire is something a lot of women find very hot. It Appeals to Our Primal Urges The same holds true for Doms. A Dom might feel out of control in their life due to a demanding job, an overbearing boss, and other pressures of everyday life. This might be why they thrive off of the opportunity to feel like they’re in control in bed. It Provides Boundaries for the Sub Subspace has been described as similar to a deep meditative state — which research shows can feel incredibly therapeutic and has lots of psychological benefits. But because this meditative state in kink can be highly emotive, we need to take post-play into consideration. You need to take some time to "come down" from the scene. There’s usually a dominant person in most relationships — even vanilla ones. For example, it’s common for one person to take more responsibility for finances or to be more socially outgoing. The difference is in D/s relationships; those roles tend to be much more pronounced and explicit.Dorment further opines that "the paintings... show men and women in sexual situations, but they are joyous and liberated and self-indulgent in a way that the lugubrious mannequins aren't." Wrote Catrin Davies for Twin Factory in November 2014 about the show, The sub is not under the Dominant’s coercive control. They are an equal member in the power exchange. That means that BDSM and kink and are all about negotiation. "The discussion you have before play is the place to express boundaries you both have, your expectations, and to set the stage for consent," Chiaramonte says. "This helps create healthy boundaries before entering a dynamic." Forced submission (consensual) — these kinds of subs enjoy primal, brutish domination. They might enjoy having their Doms roughly ‘take them’ to prove their strength and dominance. However, make no mistake; this should still only ever be a roleplay and needs to be consensual. Choose a safe word: it's important to establish a safe word so you can swiftly end any scenario you're not comfortable with if things get too much – and don’t be afraid to use it. As with all sex, kink should be completely consensual so if one or both of you isn’t enjoying the experience, use that safe word and stop immediately. BDSMDate.com: Millions of femdoms and submissives frequent this international platform. You can take advantage of nifty features like live video chat, video introductions, and join different groups organized by fetish.