I thought this was an interesting take, especially since it was written by someone who is divorced and obviously living with a lot of pain and regret. Biggest takeaways for me are: I also have a pedantic problem with the idea that "no matter what your spouse thinks or wants, you should respect that" (found here and in the Fair Play book); what if it's really important to your husband that he not do any housework? I think there has to be some appeal to objective fairness. But I understand these books aren't targeted at people who are doing the majority of housework already... Matt Fray has a way of lacing truth with humor. He puts words to the human experience in a way that allows us to feel not only witnessed, but also to have hope rise from our all-too-common relational tragedies. I have loved his writing and his advice from the first day I encountered him, and this book is no exception. Thanks for the amazing work you do in the world, Matt." — Mark Groves, founder of Create the Love P71 I figured I don't cheat, I don't physically abuse, I don't gamble away our living-expense money, I'm not an addict, and I'm not a threat to abandon her or our children. I'm trustworthy! But that is not the equation for Trust. The equation is: Safety + Belonging + Mattering = TRUST. Discover the fascinating history of the humble notebook, from the bustling markets of medieval Florence to the quiet studies of our greatest thinkers. This is the perfect read for stationery fans and history buffs alike!

I binge read this book late at night in one sitting. Not only was it relatable, but it was great to read marriage/relationship advice from a male perspective who isn't a licensed therapist (which I've read plenty of as well). MATTHEW FRAYis a relationship coach, writer, and"theman who coaches husbands on how to avoid divorce" ( New York Times).His writing has been featured in HuffPost, The Sunday Times, the New York Times, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ridehas a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers. To celebrate the publication of #DisobedientBodies – the new manifesto on beauty from Emma Dabiri, the bestselling author of #WhatWhitePeopleCanDoNext – we’re running a giveaway with UK indie nail polish brand Télle Moi.

To be in with a chance of winning a copy of Emma Dabiri’s new book along with this stunning pastel nail polish giftset from Télle Moi, simply… Fray’s framework is to explain how the way he hurt others helped him become a better person and attempt to guide others towards self-improvement. Fray relies on self-deprecating humor to describe the ways in which his actions hurt his wife, emphasizing his poor character to establish credibility for the advice he gives. This has two negative effects: First, it makes readers feel uncomfortable and guilty to support, with their time and money, someone making a career and profits off of treating his wife poorly. Second, it erodes readers’ trust in the author. Really nice sentiment. This notion of morphing into a lovely person. That’s what this chapter of my life was supposed to be about, varying degrees of success depending on the subject, but I’m certainly proud of the mental and emotional work I’ve done RE: relationships. One night during his divorce, after one too many vodkas and a phone-in-therapist's advice to 'journal his feelings,' Matthew Fray started a blog. As he tried to piece together how his ex-wife went from adoring to angry he realised that even though he was a decent guy, he was kind of a bad husband.

And it's precisely this rarity that makes this book and Fray's confessions so compelling. He started out like most recently divorced men, blaming the demise of his marriage on his wife making a "big deal" out of "trivial things." But in his aloneness, he did the soul-searching that led to his 180 or at least allowed him to talk a good talk. I believe in his sincerity in wanting to save other couples from his fate. The final chapter where he details the day his wife and son moved out is like a gut punch. It haunts me. How many of us have been told by their spouse that they aren't good at planning things but then we see them planning time to enjoy their own hobbies or events with their friends.P205 I loved my wife. But I didn't RESPECT her individual experiences as being equally valid to mine. Things that were real and true--and often painful--for her didn't affect me...She tried every way she knew how to communicate to me that these issues she was bringing to my attention were important. Each and every time she tried, I made it clear to her how much I disagreed and how certain I was that I was correct...My wife HURT--deep down where the medicine can't fix it--because of things I said and did. And for more than a decade, when she came to me for help to make the hurt stop, I communicated to her that I thought she was mistaken--even wrong--to feel hurt. I believed her failure to take responsibility for her emotions was the primary problem in our marriage. I seriously said that to her. Harvard Law Professor Charles Ogletree Jr., ‘Renaissance Lawyer’ and Staunch Civil Rights Defender, Dies at 70

VINCE. I remember, sir. All of it. You were one of the first guys to get real and share all of the shit they were dealing with in the comments. The end of a marriage. The situation with your family. I remember you having kids. Maybe four of them. It meant a lot, and continues to, that you were willing to share your life with the rest of us. Compromise is truly key in marriages. Sometimes, things can’t always go our way. However, if you dig your heels in and refuse to compromise, there can be consequences. Namely, it can start to kill your relationship. Couples’ therapists see partners all the time that have trouble compromising, which can cause rifts in the relationship. Being flexible and having the ability to sacrifice a little bit for your partner is key to a long and happy marriage.

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The end of a marriage can creep up on you. Some people don’t even realize what went wrong until the marriage is already over. DisobedientBodies explores society’s patriarchal and capitalist beauty standards and calls on us to rebel against them! This is a powerful and inspiring new way of looking at beauty. You pinpoint painful places and offer genuine insight and life-changing practical solutions with lovingkindness, which makes you an amazing counselor, teacher, and guide. And now you are a bonafide book author! I’m so happy for you!

This Is How Your Marriage Ends...takes aim at some of the conventional wisdom of coupledom as it seeks to expose the hidden threats present in many relationships."

Having relationships and friendships outside of your relationship is key to keeping your marriage strong and healthy. You need to have a support system that isn’t just your spouse. This means that you have to have friends or strong relationships with your family members. Marriage therapists have pointed out that if your only strong friendship or relationship is your spouse, then your marriage might be in trouble. Having a support network and taking the stress of your partner is vital to a healthy and long-lasting marriage. 3. There are differences in values This captivating A-Z compendium by #KateSummerscale explores the world in 99 obsessions - from spiders to clowns to all that will make your skin crawl. The author, Matthew Fray, did a lot of soul searching after his divorce, and I'm sure he, his son, his ex-wife, and any future partners will benefit tremendously from that honesty and difficult emotional work. Fray has made tremendous progress in understanding many aspects of interpersonal dynamics that occur within long-term, committed relationships, but, despite coming incredibly close, I think he's still missing the most fundamental piece. Fray's disarming personality and the sharing of his own story make people feel like they're not being judged ... His stark message: Don't end up like me' So to summarize, marriages fail when one partner does not care about the pain that they are causing the other partner.