In addition to acknowledging that empathy and perspective-taking are new skills for him (skills he may still struggle with), he tends to view relationships and people in very concrete, rigid, and all-or-nothing terms.

I did manage to get my spouse to start reading it, but whether or not it makes a difference remains to be seen. Because the idea of a marriage-saving book for men that is only read by their suffering wives is really depressing to me. This book is part memoir of how Matthew Fray was a "sh*tty husband" (his words), and part self-help book so that other couples don't let their marriage disintegrate the way his did. So to summarize, marriages fail when one partner does not care about the pain that they are causing the other partner. Failing to notice how a bunch of stuff happening or not happening in our blind spots is breaking trust with the people closest to us.

The importance of perspective taking: it’s very easy to dismiss other people’s needs as silly or unnecessary, especially when they do not seem urgent (e. Fray points out that the thought process "I'm not trying to hurt her; therefore, she shouldn't feel hurt" is common, but wrong! Marriage is supposed to be a time when you learn about the person you’re spending the rest of your life with.

In January 2016 a post he wrote—“She Divorced Me Because I left the Dishes by the Sink”—went viral and was read over four million times.This is How Your Marriage Ends spends most of It’s important to always make time to nurture parts of the relationship that may be getting neglected. Will people come to reading this book because their partners lay down an ultimatum of read it or divorce?