Silvester Stallone says “I know what you mean. Everybody tells me I am the most muscular, hunky man that has ever lived, but how do I know?” I had a few laughs while researching the best Chelsea jokes and without any further introduction here are some of the funniest Chelsea FC jokes I could find. Gemma Owen wows in a glamorous thigh-high split dress as she arrives at the star-studded Beauty Awards Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

According to Gawker, in the original version, Wayne and Garth say of Vice President-elect Al Gore's daughters, "If they were a president, they'd be Babe-raham Lincoln." They add, "Chelsea… well, she's a babe in development." At the time, Gore's three daughters ranged in age from 13 to 19. The joke has been interpreted as being a dig about Chelsea's appearance. Electronic music duo The KLF launch surprise new care business in a bid to support their older fans and help 'ravers to the grave' Omid Scobie takes aim at Kate in first bombshells: Biographer claims late Queen liked that 'Katie Keen' she was 'coachable' unlike Diana Angel di Maria SPITS at Brazil fans after they throw beer on Argentina players retreating down the tunnel before ill-tempered World Cup qualifying match I blame the manager” said the Arsenal fan, “if he would sign new players then we could be a great side”Kylie Jenner shows off her incredible figure in a tiny Chanel bikini before modelling a bra and sheer skirt as she poses for sizzling photoshoot The puzzle is explained partly by the US press, which barely reported the story. The Washington Post broke it in June 1998 but declined to relate the joke on the grounds it was “too vile to repeat”. Such coyness has long been ingrained in the US media, which has an annoying tendency to regard its readers as wayward children in need of moral protection. That’s one important reason, incidentally, that blogs are doing so well in the US - they have no such scruples and behave in ways more akin to the British than the mainstream American media. She explained that when comments were made about her by conservatives in the media like Rush Limbaugh, she knew they were more about her parents than herself. She added, "But when SNL made fun of me, I was like, 'Wow, a group of adults sat in a room, all decided this was a good idea, nobody thought maybe we shouldn't make fun of children,' I was like, 'Oh, I just don't think that's funny or OK, so I just don't think comedy's funny or OK.'" You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and an Arsenal Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?

Efforts from Zaniolo and Moussa Diaby were the first indicators that Villa were beginning to take advantage of having one man more though Chelsea were still a threat. Revealed: Extreme Weight Loss star Brandi Mallory was 'full of life' and 'encouraged everybody around her' before sudden death at age 40 The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Liverpool supporter.

Chelsea Puns (15)

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Conor Benn appears to confirm the date of his grudge clash with Chris Eubank Jr as he tells his rival that... Lionesses legend Jill Scott awkwardly silences Daniel Sturridge with a brutal jibe about failing to win the Premier League with Liverpool... as Jamie Redknapp calls her 'the silent assassin' Wayne Rooney's son ALREADY has Puma contract, and Cristiano Ronaldo Jnr is a mini-me... TEN ex-Premier League stars with sons to watch out for When the police arrived they needed to examine the body so the policeman lifted the Spurs cap and looked at one breast, then he lifted the Watford cap and examined the other. He then walked away from the body. Tiffany Haddish vows to 'get help' and 'learn balance and boundaries' after second DUI arrest in under two yearsCristiano Ronaldo sportingly tells referee to OVERTURN decision to award him a penalty in AFC Champions League game... despite Al-Nassr drawing 0-0 Abramovich, whose tainted billions propelled Chelsea from mid-table mediocrity to five Premier League titles, has been banned from doing business in the UK - meaning his plan to sell the club is on hold. King Charles will 'never reach status of the Queen who would always rise over 'problematic' family members, Omid Scobie says in new book