The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.” -Derek Landy, Death Bringer When there's a disconnect between our sense of what's right and what we do, we engage in what the book coins as 'self-betrayal.' If we don't pay attention to these moments of self-betrayal, we easily drift into our own, self-serving stories. The idea is not new. You can summarize it as "assume good intentions", "default to the most respectable interpretation," or fundamental attribution error: What would have to be true for this person to act this way? However, it goes in much more depth with the profound effect it has on the environment around us to follow and not follow this common-sensical advice. That it's much harder than we give it credit for, but that we can be better at catching ourselves. With all these costs associated with self-deception, it begs the question of why it exists at all. It turns out that there are some benefits of self-deception—in the right circumstances and amount. For example, according to some researchers, self-deception may:

cause us to lose sight of who we really are and what’s real because we’ve been deceiving ourselves so long Leadership and Self-Deception is a popular and influential book on leadership. As a psychiatrist, I noticed that it is infused with approaches commonly used in cognitive behavioral therapy to help people become better leaders by recognizing their own – and dealing with others’ – maladaptive thoughts and behaviors. Unique and most important aspects Continue reading for our Leadership and Self-Deception study guide. Leadership and Self-Deception Study Guide Who are you “in the box” toward at work (who do you feel is a problem or obstacle)? How do you treat them? It wasn’t me; it was that person’s (or team’s or group’s or division’s) fault,” you say. But who hired them? Your company did. You run the company. Every failure is yours, not theirs. Remember, it’s your company, and everything is your fault—the good as well as the bad. Stop externalizing issues; start internalizing them. You work for them; they do not work for you. You caused it, so 100% own it. - Antonio Garrido, Absolute Sales DevelopmentThis notion is based on the following logic: deception is a fundamental aspect of communication in nature, both between and within species. It has evolved so that one can have an advantage over another. From alarm calls to mimicry, animals use deception to further their survival. Those who are better able to perceive deception are more likely to survive. As a result, self-deception behavior evolved to better mask deception from those who perceive it well or, as Trivers puts it "hiding the truth from yourself to hide it more deeply from others." In humans, awareness of the fact that one is acting deceptively often leads to tell-tale signs of deception, such as nostrils flaring, clammy skin, quality and tone of voice, eye movement, or excessive blinking. Therefore, if self-deception enables an individual to believe its own distortions, it will not present such signs of deception, and will therefore appear to be telling the truth. wanting to impress others (kidding ourselves into believing we’re better than we are while downplaying our flaws) McLaughlin, Brian P. & Amélie Oksenberg Rorty (eds.) (1988). Perspectives on Self-Deception. California UP: Berkeley etc. PhilPapers: MCLPOS When you are in the box, you likely are engaging in self-deception (thoughts), which leads to the problem of self-betrayal (actions) A self-deceived organization is one filled with people who are focused on themselves and on being justified. An effective organization is one where everyone is focused on others and on achieving results.

develop our confidence so that we truly believe that we’re enough (and thus don’t need to lie to ourselves) Yes. My blame, resentment, and indifference were gone. I was seeing them as they were, and I was regretting having treated them as less than that. So in that moment, where was I?’ The principles of Leadership and Self Deceptionprovide the groundwork for our success as individuals and organizations. I recommend it highly to my fellow board members, to global networks, corporate clients, entrepreneurs, and individuals alike.” An example of self-deception is provided by Robert Trivers and Huey P. Newton published [14] in the form of an analysis of the role of flight crew self-deception in the crash of Air Florida Flight 90.It may also be argued that the ability to deceive, or self-deceive, is not the selected trait but rather a by-product of a more primary trait called abstract thinking. Abstract thinking allows many evolutionary advantages such as more flexible, adaptive behaviors, leading to innovation. Since a lie is an abstraction, the mental process of creating it can only occur in animals with enough brain complexity to permit abstract thinking. [11] Moreover, self-deception lowers cognitive cost; that is to say, if one has convinced oneself that that very thing is indeed true, it is less complicated for one to behave or think as that thing was untrue; the mind not thinking constantly of the true thing and then the false thing, but simply being convinced that the false thing is true. My self-justifying image about being learned can be the very thing that sometimes keeps me from learning."

The ideas in this book can help organizations succeed and improve personal satisfaction and relationships. The following are areas where you can apply the concepts: My business partners and I built a health-care company on the ideas in this book. We are amazed at what it has helped us achieve. Careful reading and rereading of this book has proven better than any productivity, team-building, or leadership training we’ve encountered.” This self-deceptive state closes their eyes to the reality of situations, impairs their decision-making abilities, and hinders their capacity to foster positive and productive relationships treating people. The journey of leadership and personal growth often involves: They also point out that it’s contagious. The more self-deception occurs, the more it will spread to others. There was a part of this right near the end of the ‘book’ where the authors say ‘Don’t use the vocabulary—“the box,” and so on—with people who don’t already know it’ - and I thought, ‘oh yeah...here we go.’ In the afterword they say that one of the impacts of the book has been how it has helped people all over the world in various ways - and that they even have ‘out of the box’ parties in Japan. If you are keen to join a HR cult - this is one that is perhaps not as bad as some others you might find yourself in. It has all of the metaphors you can use to be able to talk in code and stroke your own ego knowing what being ‘in the box’ means or ‘self-betrayal’ or ‘collusion’ are - none of which, of course, quite have their standard meanings.

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Ford, Charles (1999). Lies!, lies!!, lies!!!: The psychology of deceit. Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press. pp.103–125. ISBN 978-0-88048-997-3. Do you and your teammates speak freely? Do people in your organization take the blame when it’s due, or do they point the finger elsewhere?