Stewart is married to a man, something that his client Cookie tells me is appealing to her. “It just makes it feel so much safer for me,” she says.

So after a bit of deep breathing, I was able to regain control. This was purely a professional interaction between a 40-year-old local woman and a newly married 22-year-old Australian man. Absolutely nothing to worry about. Compression is an easy movement to master and great for many body parts, says Inkeles. Just lay one hand flat on, say, his shoulder, press the other hand on top of it, and rotate slowly. In December of last year, Tanya entered a strip-mall massage parlor in a ritzy Houston suburb—the same parlor she’d been going to for 11 years for traditional massage services, sometimes with her ex-husband. As she stood at the counter, the receptionist assigned her a male massage therapist. A 30-something woman waiting behind her piped up and said, “Oh, you’re getting him! He’s wonderful!” Tanya didn’t think much of it. Since this is a sexy massage, chances are there might be some genital-touching involved either during or after the rubdown. If you’re planning to use this same oil externally on your partner’s junk, you’ll need a fragrance-free oil, as scented products (including essential oils) can irritate the urethra (where pee comes out). Soothing Touch’s nut-free massage oil, Sliquid’s Escape massage oil, and Now Solutions’ massage oil are all excellent options.Besides making your hands soft and warm, massage oil reduces friction and makes it easier to knead, rub, and stroke your guy’s tired and stressed muscles. Scented oils can be erotic, “but steer clear of intense fragrances, like patchouli, which get cloying,” says Steve Capellini, a licensed massage therapist in Miami and author of Massage for Dummies. Instead, try a light single scent, like jasmine, and warm the bottle in a bowl of hot water. Step 3: Create a peaceful vibe

Yet, Tanya isn’t completely sanguine about the experience. She says she “kind of feels dirty about it…because, as a woman, I’m not supposed to pay for sex. As a mother, I shouldn’t be wanting this. I wish I didn’t feel that way.”Some women want casual sex and feel safer with a negotiated service. Others want a sexpert who might better understand their needs. This may not have been what massage school had taught him, but it was a lot more fun than kneading a lower hamstring. So, he put an ad on Craigslist offering massage with a picture of himself: buff and beautiful. She’d learned from Reddit that when men are at a parlor, they don’t really have to ask for a happy ending. The masseuse would ask them, make a gesture toward their penis, or sometimes, “the men would have an erection and that was the indicator for the masseuse to offer it,” says Tanya. “It seemed so simple. But as a female, I was like, ‘How do I indicate? And do I even want that?’ And then part of me worried, ‘What if I get one and then I get arrested?’” Happy ending” massages that include being stimulated to orgasm are not usually associated with female clientele. But there are indeed women seeking out this type of service from male masseurs, and their rules of engagement might surprise you.

Stewart is one of 116 licensed sexological bodyworkers worldwide. Their work straddles the lines between sex work, therapy, and massage. Dr. Caldwell says the sex-as-therapy trope helps “reduce stigma” for women because women are less likely to openly state they want sex. “A woman who told me she bought sex for therapy might tell her best friend that she bought sex because she was curious or horny,” says Caldwell, “and both of these motivations might be true.”Stewart told her that he was going to take her close to peak arousal, then bring her down, and bring her up again, until she finally climaxed (a technique also referred to as “edging”). Cookie laid on the table as he worked the Hitachi all over her body. After about 45 minutes, with his gloved fingers inside of her, she came. Without any notice whatsoever, she pulled the towel away and grabbed my penis. I sat up straight away to cover myself and said: “Oh sorry, no no no”. So why would a woman pay for sex? Despite the stereotype that ladies can get laid whenever they want, the truth is more complicated. “Women buy sex because they want sex that they can control,” explains Caldwell. “Some women want casual sex and feel safer with a negotiated service. Others want a sexpert who might better understand their needs. Sex workers are unlikely to reject, belittle, or harass their clients, and many women who previously tried online dating prefer the convenience and consistency that commercial sex offers.” Now when you go break it down like that it kinda looks worse than it is but on the surface, I had been violated. And no one told me I should keep my clothes on. She went into the massage room, took off her clothes, and tried to relax. The masseur put on the same CD as before: a muzak version of Radiohead’s greatest hits, played on xylophone. As the instrumental version of “Creep” played, the massage began like the other one had before. But this time, when he got to her butt and inner thighs, she didn’t clench. He started rubbing her butt vigorously with his thumbs. “And then he just started rubbing closer and closer [to my vagina],” Tanya recalls. “I was like, ‘I wonder if he’s gonna do it?’”