When sour coke bottles exist, it’s sad to think that the non-sour coke bottle has to go around pretending it’s “pretty much the same”. The less successful sibling of dairy lollies, the non-sour coke bottle needs to rebrand away from its beloved relative. Start a clothing line, write poetry, become their manager, do something. These would be nice if they had any flavour, which I suppose could be said of cardboard as well. I say poo poo to the huhu. An unnecessary lolly that doesn’t even have the thrill of looking like its namesake. All I’m saying is, it doesn’t not look like a sperm and a tampon at the same time. L-R: Giant strawbs, gobstopper, red coke bottles, russian fudge, huhu grubs Update: I realise I have forgotten jet planes but I’ve already assigned numbers so unless they go dead last, I’ll place them here. Jet planes are good but are supermarket lollies. Condolences.] Cut the watermelon up and put the chunks of watermelon flesh into a food processor and blend along with 100 ml of vodka The best bear. Wee sugar-coated pastel bears that are a delight to binge. They’re so small it feels like you’re barely eating anything. But you are. You’re eating a lot. (Image: Madeleine Chapman)

Combine bottlegreen bramble cordial, tequila, agave, lime juice into a shaker and top with one cup of water. Such a fun and exciting match-3 casual game, Lollipop & Marshmallow Match 3 will leave you wanting more! Get ready for some sweet lollipop marshmallow matching! I like blowpipes (wish they had a better name than blowpipes tbh) but I’m aware that they’re polarising. They look like the scary red electric cords from the space level in Crash Bandicoot 2 and I assume that’s exactly what the manufacturers were going for. Unfortunately they’re sherbet without being sour, which makes the sherbet a bit pointless. But they come in nice colours and are satisfying to eat via being like a sweet noodle. Dishwasher residue. If you use a dish washing machine, or have a water softener, there can be residual soaps and water conditioners/ drying agents on your pans. Before making candy wash your pots with very hot water, going over each surface even if it looks perfectly clean, and dry with paper towels or air dry.Is there anybody in the world who doesn’t enjoy a chocolate fish? The creaminess of the chocolate and the colour of the marshmallow may differ with brands but the iconicity stays the same. The pink mini ones most often found in dairies are dangerous in that you could probably eat a dozen before wondering if maybe you should stop. Chocolate fish are probably the only lollies on this list that you could put on a fancy dessert platter and get away with it. We stan a versatile fish. The red Wonka liquorice ropes used to be stored in their bulk box, all stretched out and removed with a pair of tongs by god herself (the dairy owner). But for some reason, maybe health and safety regulations, they are now looped like a lasso rope and sold as a dollar bag. It’s taken away some of the fun but none of the flavour. Crash bandicoot avoiding blowpipes You could argue that TNTs shouldn’t be in this list at all because they’re individually wrapped. You could argue that, and you probably will argue that, but it’s too late. What’s done is done. TNTs used to be sold separately and were one of the rare 10 cent lollies for the high rollers. But given the shift away from build-a-bags, they’re now sold almost exclusively as dollar bags. And what a dollar bag. They’re the only lolly with actual liquid in them and are proper sour. In lieu of putting the almighty zombie chew on this list, I put the mini equivalent. These are actually fine. They’re always nice in the mixed bags but I’ve never, ever seen someone buy a full dollar bag of them so they go right here. Boil a small amount of water in your kettle. Put the sugar into a jug with a splash of boiled water and stir until the sugar is dissolved.

Like the regular gummy strawberries but massive, tougher, and with way less flavour. You can eat them, or you can impress your friends by skipping them seven times across a lake. Placing one of these on your tongue and feeling it dissolve like the mildest chemical burn is a uniquely New Zealand thrill. They’re also the best option in those weird lolly machines where you turn the handle and the sweets drop down the chute. Is this relevant to anyone? I’ve only ever seen them at Placemakers in Kaiwharawhara and VTNZ offices. No gummy is harder to chew than the infamous colourful crocodiles. It’s so, so hard. I used to think some off them had gone stale but no, that’s how hard they’re supposed to be. They’re a lovely colour, though, and the shape and size makes it fun to eat so credit where credit’s due. I saw a few comments about less than perfect results. I also had yellow tinged candies all though it did not affect the taste.

Here are some circumstances that may be likely culprits to less than expected results. I had to eliminate a few before I was successful. Slice the remaining 50g of pineapple chunks so they are thinner. Add these to your ice lolly moulds. If you have a big sweet tooth, you’ve come to the right place filled with classic gameplay of rainbow mania, sweet candy drops, lollipops, and marshmallows!

All sweet gum is gross after approximately ten (10) seconds or seven (7) chews. I’m honestly surprised these are still available. You do you, concrete gum. L-R: Pineapple lumps, rainbow bars, tangy grapes, crocodiles, spinning top gum

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I’ve opted for seasonal sprinkles, but you could also decorate them with crushed candy canes for a wintery spin. And don’t forget to stir in your favorite flavorings, such as cherry or strawberry extract to give the pops a punch of fruity flavor. Whittaker’s toffee milk aka the extremely hard caramel chocolate that sits in a box on every dairy counter. Only now, probably thanks to health and safety regulations again, they’re sold separately in dollar bags. It’s not technically a “dollar bag” lolly in the same way that this list isn’t technically “journalism” and yet here we are. Toffee milk is the most sophisticated lolly you can buy from the dairy and for that reason alone, it deserves a top five placing. I discovered these late (year 12, shoutout Dilip’s Four Square in Wellington) but boy did I make up for lost time. Raspberry drops are easily the best value for money in that they last for ages and you get a bunch in every bag. The one downside is they make your tongue go red/purple which is fine for a kid after school and less fine for an adult in a work meeting. As far as taste and longevity goes, you simply cannot beat a raspberry drop. All non-branded chocolate tastes a little bit like plastic. That’s the rule. Genuine chocolate with genuine coconut would be so full-on and sweet and you could probably only eat a little. Dollar bag coconut rough is none of those things and therefore perfect. I wouldn’t even consider it real coconut rough. It is its own thing and should never change.

Pour the watermelon and vodka blend into the mould and pop the mould in the freezer for an hour, or until the watermelon juice is part frozen but not totally solid. Cut the pineapple and add 200g of it to your blender, along with the coconut rum, agave nectar, and coconut milk. Blend until as smooth as possible. The bulk-buying classic. The only two ways to see these lollies is in a one dollar bag or in a five kilo bag. No in between. There are technically three flavours and they do taste different but they’re still somehow indistinguishable. It’s a plain gummy done right. Small, soft, but still splits when you bite into it (the bad soft gummies don’t split and it’s gross). There’s nothing special about these strawberries but they’ve had many impersonators over the years and none have lived up to OG. My search for an image of “Y2K bug lollies” was futile. Turns out they’re called ‘sour spiders’ which is making me question every memory I’ve ever had. But I was right about them being Pascall at least.]

You have to really love a lolly to keep buying it even after learning of its cancelled name and concept. Nobody loves these lollies that much. If boiling sugar makes you run for the hills (or candy aisle!), have no fear. I’ve included all my candy-making tips in the recipe to guarantee sweet success. Match at least 3 candies in a row to clear the board! Sweeten up the challenge as you crush assorted colorful candies through various quests in sweet colorful levels such as Lollipop Wood and Fudge Desert.