From the definition above, Masenya opts for bosadi as opposed to mosadi for her gender framework. She points out that mosadi ' … can, depending on the context, be used in a derogatory sense' (2011:81). In the same work (Masenya 2011), she argues that: Shoneyin's early writing consists mainly of poetry and short stories. Early examples of her work appeared in the Post Express in 1995, [13] which features a short story about a Nigerian woman who leaves her husband for an Austrian woman. This story initiated dialogue about homosexuality within a Nigerian context. Titilola Atinuke Alexandrah Shoneyin was born in Ibadan, the capital of Oyo State, south-western Nigeria, in 1974. She is the youngest of six children and the only girl. Her parents, Chief Tinuoye Shoneyin and Mrs. Yetunde Shoneyin ( née Okupe), are Remo indigenes from Ogun State. Shoneyin teaches well, with subtlety and wisdom, I think. Bolanle starts to heal immediately when she reveals her secret; keeping

Her second volume of poetry, Song of a Riverbird, was published in Nigeria (Ovalonion House) in 2002. [15] While living in England, she obtained a teaching degree from London Metropolitan University in 2005. Dyer, S.J. Abrahams, N., Mokena, N.E. & Van der Spuy, Z.M., 2004, 'You are a man because you have children: Experiences, reproductive health knowledge and treatment-seeking behaviour among men suffering from couple infertility in South Africa', Human Reproduction 19(4), 960-967. https://doi.org/10.1093/humrep/deh195[ Links] Phillips, Barnaby (2014-09-10). "The top 10 books about Nigeria". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077 . Retrieved 2023-03-31. The saddest event for me was the death of Segi, but it was a necessary evil. Not once was Baba Segi sorry for pressurizing his wives to give him children, and not once did we see that he owned up to his fault, not once! Wlodarski, R., 2015, 'The relationship between cognitive and affective empathy and human mating strategies', Evolutionary Psychological Science 1(4), 232-240. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40806-015-0027-3[ Links]

Summary

Interestingly, it’s the quiet and unassuming Iya Tope who’s having an affair and cheating on Baba Segi. She finds some degree of sexual satisfaction from this, and doesn’t try to dominate the household because, frankly, it’s not too important to her. She married out of necessity, but her life is truly elsewhere. This is an intriguing revelation. Mayo, Douglas (2018-05-15). "Cast Announced For Arcola's The Secret Lives Of Baba Segi's Wives". British Theatre . Retrieved 2021-06-10. Tope’s father worked on one of Baba Segi’s farms and he arranged their marriage as a result of a crop failure which put him in arrears with Baba Segi. She too dreams of independence but her ideal situation doesn’t involve money or other assets. Instead, she would like the freedom to live a simple life where she can once again experience the freedom she felt at having her hands in the soil.

Understanding women's dignity by virtue of marriage is highly problematic, as it portrays marriage to be the only institution that confers dignity and respect to women (cf. Segalo 2013:1-10). In reality, this institution is also known to be the first among others in constructing norms and systems that enslave women. Although other people perceive unmarried women as free from male supremacy and control (Osiek 2006:832-834), there seems to be a dynamics of control over women by virtue of gender and patriarchal ideologies, that is, they are inferior to men notwithstanding their education, cultural affiliation, class and religion. Gender remains one of the most significant factors in shaping the power dynamics in households. Savage, O.M.N., 1992, 'Artificial donor insemination in Yaounde: Some socio cultural considerations', Social Science & Medicine 34, 907-913. [ Links] There’s a building undercurrent in their relationship that when things first began he was sweet, generous, and kind towards her. But he’s very preoccupied with proving his manhood by having children with each of his wives. With no children conceived, his feelings towards her began to change. Shoneyin’s work is significantly influenced by her life, notably providing material on polygamy for her debut novel; her maternal grandfather, Abraham Olayinka Okupe (1896-1976) was the traditional ruler of Iperu Remo and had five wives. He ascended the throne in 1938 and died in 1976. [11] Education and career [ edit ]Hanna and Gough (2015:6) indicate that some women voluntarily protect their infertile husband given the stigma that is attached to male infertility. They point out that 'women often shoulder the "blame" for fertility problems even when male-factor infertility has been diagnosed'. Here, one sees the dehumanisation and subjugation of women in many phases and that a male superior uses a female as an object for his own benefits. Such is power dynamics that is also found in the institution of marriage. Empathy is fundamental in understanding people's experiences in professions such as psychology and pastoral care that involve helping others. People should be able to understand a situation as if they were personally experiencing such a situation, even when they would not be. The approach in this article is entirely empathic as encompassing both the cognitive and the affective domains. According to Strauss (2004; cf. Wlodarski 2015:232):