People of all genders do regress to the past in different ways sometimes more by doing things connected to their pasts such as a past-time, interest or hobby or by physically becoming that 'child' by dressing more like they used to. One could almost imagine being a pupil at Greyfriars. It has a sort of idyllic quality which even its fiercest critic, George Orwell, noted. Aside from the insipid Jennings stories the first non Bunter school story I read was one of John Finnemore's Teddy Lester stories. Frank Richards never described a caning with as much attention to detail as Finnemore did. They were reasonably well written too although not nearly as enticing as the Greyfriars tales. There was no Harry Wharton, my schoolboy hero, to admire, however the characters are well drawn and he captures something of the brutality of a boys only boarding school. From Teddy Lester in the Fifth this short extract typical of the well described canings which occur with great regularity: This all changed when I was 13. Aunt Pam was a Christian fundamentalist, and in my teens I’d sometimes stay weekends or for a time in school holidays at her lovely house in Amersham, and she became a kind of tutor to me too. Down it came, and six good thumping cuts made Foxy writhe like an eel, and when he straightened himself up he was purple with the effort he had made to restrain his groans."

When I was seven years old, I was sent away to board at a private preparatory (prep) school for boys in the south of England – this was in the 1970s and corporal punishment was still available for errant schoolboys. Then I heard her trot out this little ditty. “Spank a boy and do it right, trousers down, pants up tight. And if he smiles when he should frown, then spank him with his pants right down.” With that, Aunt Pam pulled my jeans down, exposing my underpants. My face was now near to the floor and I remember clearly the smell of the carpet, mixed with tobacco smoke as Doreen lit up a cigarette. The next moment it was far from ‘very well’ with my bottom as the cane was brought down hard and decisively across both cheeks. It may as well have been a red hot poker. I began to cry immediately but managed to stay bent over. I felt Mr Dawson’s hand rub my bare bottom consolingly. “Good boy,” he said. “You must learn to take your punishment like a big boy. Two more to go.”

I was actually Jewish, so Pam was not a blood aunt, but an ‘auntie’ – a friend of the family. When I turned 13 – the age of confirmation and ‘manhood’ in both Judaism and Christianity – her attitude towards me became a little less playful and rather more stern. This said, because the way my life actually is I'm living that way and inevitably I do end mentioning bits of it so I might as well write something about it although my own understanding won't be everyones. She took hold of my chin and looked me in the eye. “You’ve got the face of an angel and hands that are a gift from God. Now let’s see if you’ve got a nice little bottom that the Lord made for spanking, shall we? Take your trousers down!” The next thing I knew, Aunt Pam was holding my arms firmly so I couldn’t move, and Doreen was unzipping my jeans. Then I was pulled across Pam’s knee in a daze. Although we did have the cane at my sweet little primary school in Wembley, London, in the 1960s, I managed to avoid it. However, at my senior school I was regularly caned and slippered as we all were, going into the 1970s.

Sometimes we forget some of what we have learnt which has everyday import such as letter writing or say times tables or maybe like me you didn't do too well so a 'second chance' would help you. This generally comes from a state of actually 'being' that little - in this instance a little boy - at a mental and physiological level as it works through how they play letting out their younger 'inner child' side in a fluid natural way rather than acting out a role play which is more where 'age play' comes in. By this time Teddy had released Stanton, and the latter had joined his chum Cleaver, and both were pushing for front places in the crowd. My second great desire in this weird and shadowy dimension was to be spanked myself by a stern, no-nonsense older female. This was kindled in me by Aunt Pam, with the help of her friend Doreen, who lived with her. I’m going to give you a taster of each of my little helpers – three with the cane, three with the slipper and three with the board.”“You can’t make me!” I protested, but with that she called Doreen into the room.I can vividly recall my first visit to his study. Both I and a friend of mine, Paul Jennings [all names have been changed – Ed] both got a demerit in the same lesson for constantly not paying attention. Both of us had been sitting on three demerits – and now the time for sitting had come to an end!

However, the school also operated a ‘demerit’ system for minor acts of disobedience, such as running in the corridor, being late for class, talking during a lesson etc. You were allowed up to three demerits per term without punishment – after that, your bottom had an appointment with the headmaster. Some do play with things such as toys, colouring, play, traditional board games or read sometimes books from childhood or connected to it like stories about school days which at least here in Great Britain is a popular thing. Corporal punishment was avoided with the bigger boys, and Brigson had never undergone it before. At the first stroke he writhed and yelled; at the second he retreated, twisting like a serpent, and blubbering like a baby; at the third he flung himself on his knees, and, as the strokes fell fast, clasped Mr. Rose's arm, and implored and besought for mercy. Bridges," said Newton, "go to my study and fetch the cane which stands in the corner near the bookcase." Seeing a girl’s pants was unheard of in everyday life, so for it to be sanctioned, legally, was almost akin to waiting for execution where you were not only punished, but legally invaded and destroyed, like in an act of war. It was both somehow thrilling and terrifying. The adults who mostly protected you could also punish you. This kindled in me my first great ‘love’ in the murky world of shadows – the desire to see a pretty girl spanked.

Long," said Newton, "take out that chair into the corridor" - and the senior prefect pointed to a chair which had stood beside the table now overturned - "and place yourself over it." Finally, she turned to me, all smiles and said: “Well, Asher, I think we have an understanding now, don’t you? And now you’ve met my little helpers!” To Farrar nothing is trivial, he never says boys will be boys but sees their words and deeds as being of everlasting importance. Naturally the punishments must be significant too.

The kind of look of a British Schoolboy was one I did emulate at the time rather like that picture although I would say I took care to remove excess arm and leg hair apart from shaving my face so what I saw was rather more like a junior version of me rather than looking like an adult male stuffed into a school uniform. Sometimes, a whole class could get a ‘double stripe’ for rowdiness. Then, if you just got a single stripe on top of that, you were for it. A bit unfair, but this was Anne’s situation. I had also accumulated three stripes this way myself a couple of times, but for some reason escaped with just a telling-off. I remember actually grinning and not really taking her seriously, and yet feeling quite excited, with a combination of disbelief and adrenalised elation! I asked her if it was true that she’d caned her Rory across his bare bottom, but she just told me that it was none of my business – what was my business right now was my own behaviour. I held out my hand, albeit with a dollop of attitude, but Aunt Pam said: ““You silly boy! I’m not going to cane your hands – there’s far too much risk of injury, especially as you play the piano. There’s only one place God has decreed that naughty boys should be punished, and that’s on the bottom.”Finally, Aunt Pam asked Doreen to give me three strokes of the cane, while she continued to hold me firmly over her knee. Doreen duly obliged. The cane strokes weren’t too hard, but they did bite. Miserable coward," said Mr. Rose, throwing into the word such ringing scorn that no one who heard it ever forgot it. He indignantly shook the boy off, and caned him till he rolled on the floor, losing every particle of self-control, and calling out, "The devil - the devil - the devil!" ("invoking his patron saint," as Wildney maliciously observed). You see, at one point when I considered writing this blog, I had said in a rather matter of fact way it wasn't going to be about being an adult schoolboy or adult little boy and that is quite true because the bias tends to be on past boyhood.