A huge wave of fear passes over me. I’m just standing there, paralyzed, and then I hear the voice in the woods again. This time it’s behind me. The party continued at the pool, where he received many celebratory kisses and squeezes. One concerned citizen jokingly worried that in making sure my husband was taken care of, there was no one to take care of me and offered to do so himself. The pleasure on his face was palpable as we gave him a blowjob together, as was the pleasure on ours when he took turns going down on us. The session ended with him taking her from behind while burying his fingers in me, leaving all of us sweaty and breathless. As the scenery changed from the endless blue sea to the jade mountains of Bora Bora, we were both so overcome by the beauty that we couldn’t help but go to town on each other. I said as long as he could get me showered and out the door in time for my second date with the muscle-bound guy from Thursday, then he was welcome to have me.

For the first time on the cruise, I was starting to feel worn out – in the most satisfying way, of course.

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I thought the ultra sparkly costume I wore for that night’s metallic party would be the highlight of my day, but it was seeing our friends and community come together to make sure my partner had a birthday he would never forget. Some time in the morning, the ship pulled up offshore Rangiroa Atoll, where dolphins are known to frolic. We celebrated his birthday right away with a leg-shakingly good romp in bed. At this point, all the swingers knew it was his special day, and both of us were turned on just by the thought of what could happen. Later, we attended a masturbation workshop, which would be better described as a meditation on self-pleasure. I feel her forehead and she’s burning up. I tell her that she may have a fever and that we should probably go home. She looks bummed, but eventually gives in and I get her up and take her to the car.

Two days later my wife scheduled a three hour spa treatment for me at our resort. I had no idea what to expect. When I arrived I was taken to an open area in the mens section and asked to to remove my clothes. As they walked me to the massage area, I noticed that others had robes and I was the only one fully nude, which seemed odd. I also noticed some smiles/laughs that must have been due the very small penis I was not so proudly revealing. So much of masturbation is focused on the orgasm, they said, and during this session we would take the time to bring pleasure to the body and spirit, aligning genitals with the heart. Warning: As you’d expect, this week’s diary features some explicit details about sex, so it’s definitely NSFW. Monday She keeps shivering and eventually tells me that she isn’t feeling well, but doesn’t want to ruin our trip. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was psyched that she said that because I wanted to get the hell out of there. As I said before, I’m not a big fan of nature.

I was so in my element that all the insecurities I brought on board were gone by this point. Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking that swinging requires looking a certain way: the name of the game is confidence, and I was seeing that being myself is all I need. Wednesday We spent much of the day exploring the beautiful scenery with our friends, reaffirming that the bond between swingers extends well beyond the bedroom.

This put me in a great mood as we returned to the ship, which must have turned on some kind of sex magnet.

Though my eyes remained closed, I could feel the energy of everyone in the room discovering how profound masturbation can be when you aren’t just racing to reach a climax. I awoke to the glowing, golden hues of a Tahitian sunrise in the best way possible: with my husband’s face buried between my thighs. Like me, his libido was running at full capacity ever since boarding the Luxury Lifestyle Vacations (LLV) cruise through French Polynesia the night prior, and the moment I was awake, we needed to release that pent-up energy. My husband and I kept things quiet as well, reinforcing our love for each other with a sunset blowjob on the balcony. I rush out of the tent and look towards where I heard her scream. I glance over to the car and she is asleep in the passenger seat. After a morning of topless photos on the beach, we invited a friend to our room for a threesome. She had suggestively asked to help celebrate my husband’s birthday, and he was more than happy to unwrap this gift.

With the balcony door open, I watched the landscape cruise by while he used his mouth to bring me to orgasm. I switched positions on the couch, so he was behind me, making sure he got to take in the pleasurable view while experiencing his own pleasure.

He eased into his seat on the dance floor as she writhed her body around him in time to the music, making me wish it was my birthday, too. Thursday Many people spent today taking it easy, enjoying their time in paradise and resting up for the final day on the ship. When we got to our room, I caught my wife pleasuring herself in the shower, which has never happened before. In fact, she’s pretty much given upon sex. I called her out on it and she mentioned that her massage included a happy ending and she had not cum so hard in years. Of course, the closest I got was having my butt cheeks massaged. I felt ripped off and all she said was “maybe next time.” Even as experienced swingers, we were grateful to have spent the first few days becoming grounded with just each other, ensuring our communication and bond were solid: this always makes sex with others a more seamless experience. We settled into the familiar comfort of not having to hide anything; not having to pretend that we define our love with sexual fidelity. In having the opportunity to be ourselves, we were able to truly relax. And that’s what vacations are for, right?