This self-help boundaries book uses cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), an evidence-based approach to understanding the connection between our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The CBT exercises in this book will help you identify inaccurate thoughts and beliefs that are making it difficult for you to set boundaries and replace them with thoughts that are more accurate and helpful. Tawwab debuts with a comprehensive guide on how to understand and establish interpersonal boundaries….She identifies six types of boundaries—physical, sexual, intellectual, emotional, material, and time—and dispenses tips on how to uphold personal limits….Readers who follow Tawwab on social media and those who find setting boundaries especially difficult will appreciate the advice.” I've also learned how to walk away from relationships/friendships with people who don't respect & accept my "no" the first or second time I say it. If I have to say "no" more than once or twice, I won't continue to engage w/the person. If you have to say "no" more than twice, you're dealing with a manipulator.

My dad recommended I read this book when I was in the middle of a difficult friendship. I felt put upon and walked over and didn't know how to change the expectations of this overly needy person in my life. I had assumed that the only option was to love her "as Christ would" and allow her to use my time, resources and patience as she needed. I had also assumed that due to my duty to love her as Christ would, I needed to "turn the other cheek" when she mistreated me or lost her temper, which was happening often. Through reading this, I was able to identify several things that were unhealthy and was given ideas on how to change the relationship while still being loving and consistent. It's too bad the most widely recommended book about setting healthy boundaries is so fanatically biblical. The biblical references and anecdotes are excessive, awkward, and feel forced. I was trying to wade through all the citations to get to the actual meat of the book and I couldn't do it, it was just too distracting. Not at all what I was looking for. I’m excited to share The Better Boundaries Workbook with you because I know, from personal and professional experience, that healthy boundaries can transform your life. If you struggle to stand up for yourself, ask for what you need, or feel guilty or afraid when you do, learning to set boundaries can increase your self-esteem and confidence, and help you create respectful, satisfying relationships. Of course, this doesn’t happen all at once. As you know, setting boundaries is tough. However, I’m confident that with the concepts in this book and committed practice, you can learn to set effective boundaries. No, he doesn’t set limits on what people can do, but he sets his standards. And when they behave outside his standards it’s like he is saying “you can be that way if you want, but you can’t come to my house”. Emotional Distance is Temporary Boundary Or parents who “love” their children by giving their everything and giving in all the time while the children grow up feeling unloved. then those parents wonder “after all I’ve done?”Now updated and expanded, this classic book is more timely and relevant than ever for today’s “always on, always there” culture. If technology and social media are intruding on your life and relationships, learn from the boundaries experts how to protect yourself and the people you love. This life-changing book is still the go-to guide for healthy relationships, personal growth, and true freedom in Christ.” Nope. Not my responsibility to get a grown adult from point A to point B because she wants to attend the event. If she really wanted to attend the event, she would find her way there via her car, or carpool w someone else, or via one of the following or a combination of the following: bus, train, water taxi, car taxi, Uber, Lyft, horse drawn carriage, bike, Segway, scooter, rollerblades...

I've been taking a class this summer on boundaries, based on the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. According to Wikipedia, "Personal Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for him- or herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around him or her and how he or she will respond when someone steps outside those limits. Personal boundaries define you as an individual. They are statements of what you will or won't do, what you like and don't like...how close someone can get to you." The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem...Maintaining your boundaries is good for other people; it will help them learn what their families of origin did not teach them: to respect other people. I truly want to thank these authors for breaking this down for anyone and everyone who might take the time to read this book. And I want to thank my friend, Kay, for introducing me to this book and opening up a whole new world to me. I will say that I will be investing in the other books they have written on boundaries (Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries with Kids, Boundaries with Teens, etc.). Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. We need to set mental, physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries for our lives to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what isn't. Parenting with love and limits, with warmth and consequences, produces confident children who have a sense of control over their lives. At first glance, it seems as if the individual who has difficulty setting limits is the one who has the boundary problem; however people who don't respect others limits also have boundary problems.Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often. All of us can overcommit, become doormats, or find ourselves in codependent and dysfunctional relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s one-of-a-kind book helps guide the reader through a change in mindset that eventually leads to a change in actions. If you know you have some unhealthy patterns in friendships, at work, in your schedule, with technology or your family, this book will help you establish the boundaries you need to create the life you are supposed to live.” The rare book that manages to be practical, thoughtful, readable, and even funny. If you’ve struggled to identify and establish healthy boundaries—with family, in romance, at work, or in life—Melissa Urban shows the way forward with clarity, vulnerability, and humor.”

The Better Boundaries Workbook A CBT-Based Program to Help You Set Limits, Express Your Needs, and Create Healthy RelationshipsIf you don’t like your job, if you are working too much overtime, if your job is driving you crazy, you must do something about it. The author says that people put up with a lot to be in a relationship because our need for relationships is one of our biggest needs.

How many marriages could have been saved if one spouse had followed through on the threat “if you don’t stop drinking.. ” or “hit me” or “yelling at the kids” I will leave until you get some treatment. Don’t Help Those Who Don’t Learn

Customer reviews

Establishing healthy boundaries has created an internal radar system that goes into alert when my boundaries aren't respected. If my "no" isn't respected the first time I say it, I start to feel anxious. If I have to say "no" a second time, I start to feel angry at the person for not listening. However, this book was written in the early 90's and it shows. Some examples and language are outdated. I know they've put out an updated version (this is just the version I have, so it is what I re-read) so I wonder if some of that has changed in their newer book, but be warned that it does feel like a 30 year old book sometimes. Still very applicable, just a little dated. It also can be a little dry as well, though practical. But if boundaries are something you struggle with, this book could potentially change your life like it did mine. To have boundaries, the author says, means to take responsibility for your own transfers (note: “transfer” is a phenomenon in psychology by which the patient projects love or hatred towards an authority figure).