My mother whizzed around Norfolk on her beloved Harley Davidson until she was well into her sixties, in her motorcycle leathers. She was my great friend and champion when I was growing up, and encouraged me to be brave and adventurous, but she never fussed about what I was feeling or wanted to indulge my anxieties. We had to put others first, but not to the extent of becoming doormats in our dealings with the world. It was important to stand up for oneself when necessary. Otherwise her message was simple. Never complain. Life isn’t fair. You will have to do things you won’t want to do, so just get on with it. Putting a brave face on things was all we could do.” Whatever Now” is a candid look at a very interesting life full of moments of both extraordinary privilege and of tragedy.

I wasn’t brought up like that. One tried and tried. After he nearly killed me [Tennant violently beat her on Mustique], our marriage did change. We led more separate lives. He spent a lot more time in the West Indies and I was in England with the children. If we’d had to live cheek by jowl, it would have been much harder, as it is for most people.The Queen always understood that the deference paid to her was because of her position and what she represented, not because of who she was as a person. I think one of the reasons she was so loved was because she was not arrogant or haughty.”

Anne Glenconner's remarkable life hasn't always been as glamorous as one would expect of the daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, but it's certainly been an eventful one. From being raised in the beautiful Holkham Hall to living in a tent in the jungles of Mustique, and from exploring the world with Princess Margaret, to keeping pace with her unrestrained and impulsive husband - Lord Glenconner - Anne has lived many extremes. She wraps up with some life advice: "Joy is always waiting for us somewhere in life, even in our darkest moments and often in the most surprising of ways, and that embracing life in all its strangeness has so much good to offer ... I try to keep abreast of things rather than sinking into my own little world, and a positive mindset is always a great asset." Some letters come from people who are facing difficult times, often asking my advice on how to cope. It’s very difficult as all our lives are so different and we cope in different ways. I tell them never to give up, and remind them that life often turns round. I also encourage them not to dwell on things. There is a difference, I think, between facing problems and allowing oneself to be overwhelmed by them, though that can be a difficult line to tread. I also tell them I try to think of myself as a puppet with a string coming out of the top of my head, pulling me upwards. That way I sit up straight and look forward. Quite honestly, it makes me feel better if I ever get depressed. It’s often silly things that can make a difference.” No, because I was able to murder her in my novel A Haunting at Holkham[published in 2021]. I got rid of her and there was a wonderful feeling of relief. This is true of a lot of the awful things that have happened to me in my life. Now I’ve written about them, I feel completely different. It’s had a wonderful effect on me.Colin was a Jekyll and Hyde figure, wasn’t he? Great fun at one moment and vicious and violent at the next. She was the most wonderful friend to me, because she saw all this [the trouble with Colin] going on. She had some of the same problems herself – I saw how Tony [Lord Snowdon] behaved – and it was worse for her, because she was in the public eye. But she saved my life in a way. She was caring, but she was also practical. She didn’t approve of crying or moaning. You had to pull yourself together. You were born into another world. Did the cooks at Holkham really gather up the shed velvet from deers’ antlers, fry it and serve it on toast? Anne Glenconner was born Lady Anne Coke in 1932. The eldest daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, she grew up at Holkham Hall in Norfolk and was a childhood friend of the late Queen and Princess Margaret and a maid of honour at the Queen’s coronation. She married Colin Tennant, later Lord Glenconner and the owner of Mustique, an island in the West Indies, in 1956. They had five children together, of whom three survive. Her son Charlie, a former heroin addict, died of hepatitis in 1996. Her son Henry died of Aids in 1990. She was appointed lady in waiting to Princess Margaret in 1971. Her first book, a memoir called Lady in Waiting, was published in 2019 and became a surprise hit. Now she has written another, Whatever Next?, in which she reveals that during her marriage she was a victim of domestic violence. Read the book again allowing children to join in with words they might remember such as WHOOSH! BUMP! Or ‘Whatever next!’ Tell the story

Yes, they did and if the footman carried raw eggs in a bain-marie from the kitchen to the nursery, it was so far, they were boiled on arrival. The world has changed immeasurably. I think anyone who lived through the war was marked for ever by it. We went through such a lot. I do find it a bit strange what people complain about nowadays. Well, I’ve given up supper. I find that eating late gives me indigestion and I wanted to lose weight around my middle. It’s marvellous. I never feel hungry. I have breakfast and a good lunch and that’s it. I lost a stone without trying. I also walk every day and properly. You’ve got to lift your feet up. When writing about her life, I couldn't help many times but be amazed at what it must be like to have such wealth: "We had an excellent staff, and though I felt terribly busy at the time, I never cleaned a bath or made a bed." Not really. I just think it was a final cruelty. People do ask if he was gay or bisexual, but I really don’t know. He had a lot of affairs with ladies. He had huge appetites. It was the same with shopping. In India once, he saw these windows on a house. He wanted them, but not a copy. He wanted those very windows. He had a compulsive side. But isn’t stoicism a double-edged sword? As you admit in your book, life might have been better for you and your children if you’d talked more.

International

Since the second book is definitely informed by the first one, my recommendation is to read both books of Anne Glenconnor’s autobiography.

What about Princess Margaret? She’s widely portrayed as having been spoilt and difficult, but you’ve always insisted this is unfair. A somewhat different book than the first of her autobiography “Lady in Waiting,” this one is told in the same humorous, matter of fact style but with much more openness and honesty about some things which were whitewashed (her marriage) or glossed over (her childhood trauma at the hands of a nasty governess) in the first book.We talked about imagination and how we could use different things to pretend - we do a lot of duplo and painting but don't play many imaginative games, so it was very helpful to have this prompt. One day we were making paper books and Miles made one inspired by Whatever Next. He told me story and did the pictures, I just transcribed what he said. Mummy Bear and Baby Bear made quite an impression on him!’ Not long ago, I read and enjoyed "Lady in Waiting," by Anne Glenconner. You may remember that Anne was a maid of honor at Queen Elizabeth's coronation, and then served as a lady in waiting to Princess Margaret for several decades. She ended that book by looking with optimism toward the future, always wondering "Whatever next?" So, when I saw her new book, "Whatever Next?" up for review, I was happy to sign up.