Nella was 17 years old when she fell in love with a girl for the first time. They met through sport – something Nella had been passionate about since she was a young girl. The country has been home to bouts of conflict since independence in 1962. But today, for many young people enjoying the nightlife in Bujumbura, those tensions feel another lifetime away. The woman, while being a lesbian, was not arrested for her sexuality - the authorities were unaware of it, she believes. It was because the woman had retaliated against domestic abuse in her family home, and lashed out against her abuser. According to OkCupid data again, the attributes lesbians used to describe themselves most often were artsy, adventurous, kinky, and almost half said they were “into drugs.”

When her parents died, Nella's brothers increased the pressure. There was no money for an education, they said, and besides they didn't believe a woman needed one. Leila had grown up in a loving, supportive middle-class family in Bujumbura city. She was popular. She had a boyfriend. Mum cried. I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase. She asked me to make an effort to be be ‘normal’. I said I would.” Burundi is well known in the Great Lakes for its vibrant nightlife. Bujumbura has fewer than 500,000 inhabitants, but maintains a vivid youth culture.I wasn’t into it,” she says, “I thought maybe it was because the guy wasn’t cute. So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy.” Also unsurprising is the prevalence of Tegan and Sara and Ani DiFranco mentions, as well as cult fave TV show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," which featured one of the first lesbian kiss scenes on U.S. television. But she needn’t have worried. Leila didn’t lose her friendship. The two agreed to draw a line under the embarrassing episode.

They knew of a rich man who was interested in her. There was little time to lose, they insisted. At 20 she was getting on a bit. But when he looked at her quizzically, she says the full realisation of who she is hit her. I am a lesbian, Leila told herself. Leila thinks domestic abuse in families where a woman is suspected of being lesbian or bisexual is a big cause for concern. The group has heard of abuse as a result of sexuality but it is impossible to verify. Often women withdraw their stories for fear of what might happen to them. THE ORGASM GAP is real. Recent research suggests that in hetero relationships, women are having as few as one orgasm for every three their guys experience. For those who want to boost these sad stats, here are some tips from lesbian sexpert Alex B. Porter for both giving and receiving better cunnilingus. Share these pointers with someone who gives you a ladyboner, and you’ll be closing that orgasm gap in no time.

Nella says she heard of women being killed in rural Burundi for being gay. She also heard of a lesbian who was recently jailed in Bujumbura. Growing up, I used to wish that I was ‘normal’,” says Leila. “Now we joke about how we’re not normal. We say we’re aliens and we have superpowers.” It's no wonder members of the group are all in the city. But we have a duty to find our sisters who are not,” says Leila. Leila, Niya, Nella and their friends would often meet at these places. But listening to each other’s life stories led to a sombre realisation. Stereotyping is a necessary evil. Stereotyping simplifies complex information so our brains can easily understand it, reducing the amount of processing we go through when seeing or meeting new people That said, it also causes us to generalize. If we see one hipster drinking PBR and wearing an “Everyone loves Grandpa!” T-shirt, our brain is like, #YesAllHipsters.

There is little data, and there has been no large-scale collection of testimony, so it is almost impossible to get an accurate picture of their lives. The BBC messaged Niya to tell her that we would be using images of a violet to illustrate the memes. We chose the symbol - which differs vastly from the symbols the women use - because lesbian women in the 1900s were said to give violets to their girlfriends.We started talking at lunch,” says Niya. “Within that conversation, we knew that we were the same. There was a shorthand, a recognition.”

She and a few other women go out to speak to lesbian and bisexual women in the villages. They hear about them through loose local networks, both on and offline, and through friends of friends. Many members of the group say they have experienced violence at the hands of family members who became suspicious about their sexuality. Another oft-recited stereotype is that lesbians are known to process everything to death. Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don’t know. Should we use LEDs? What wattage? Are these recyclable? Maybe this is a sign we should be lowering our carbon footprint. Let’s make a pro and con list of solar panel options and revisit this next year. Watching the YouTube videos had confirmed to Niya that she was not alone. But where were the other gay women in Burundi?

Pay some lip service. Don’t just dive in and start lapping away! That moment you first go down is when your partner will feel most exposed, self-conscious, and anxious. Reassure them that this is as pleasurable and exciting for you as it is for them. Kiss and tease the surrounding areas before going anywhere near the clit. A little stroke, grope, and a few kisses around the navel go a long way in maintaining a feeling of connectedness. We’ve covered everything thrown at us this past year and will continue to do so with your support. We’ve They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out.