Damian Barr’s Literary Salon is where the freshest debuts and the biggest bestsellers read for the first time from their latest greatest books and share their own personal stories. Gender can be a useful framework for folks to feel validated (trans folks included) through the shorthand it provides. So that gives you a flavor of what you're in for with this book, though tbh, there are far fewer descriptions of sexual encounters than you might assume. It's like he only wants to bring cultural and historical context to bear when it helps him justify what he wants to do anyway. There is a reason why everyone isn’t having incredible sex: It requires communication, vulnerability, and knowing — owning — what you like.

Admittedly, I was a little taken aback by the frankness with which Zane discusses drug use, and the way he so casually dismisses STIs, but I realized you can't pick-and-choose your stigmas. Zach wasn’t always the out-and-proud self-proclaimed “Boyslut” and outspoken activist for the non-monogamous bi community.It started sounds like a pamphlet you’d find at planned parenthood about a lot of statistics with the word fuck and ass sprinkled in. This warts and all, literally no holds barred combination of memoir, reflections and essays is a treat. While I agree that there should be much less shame when it comes to STIs, being careful is sensible and makes sense and I don't think we should be encouraging people to give up condoms. But when I'm masturbating in the shower, and a violent sexual scene mysteriously appears in my mind, I don't spend the next five hours worried about whether I'm secretly a depraved and perverted sicko. I think it’s powerful he’s found ways to chuck shame to the side and it’s worth reading and taking note of!

This week we’ve invited sex and relationship columnist Zachary Zane to read to you from his painfully funny memoir, Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Instead, my main problem with the book and the reason for its rating is due to the sharp decline in the final third. It is a personal and powerful testimony inspiring us all learn to live healthier lives unburdened by stigma.The New York-based author bares all in this memoir-manifesto, exploring how, even today, we live in a world that shames people for the sex they have and the sexualities they inhabit. A very frank, often insightful, frequently raunchy, occasionally eye-raising examination of sexual shame, particularly as it relates to men who have sex with men.

Great for anyone wanting info for themselves or ideas on how to start conversations with loved ones. has written this refreshing collection of personal essays as an effort to get to the root of the sexual shame that runs rampant in American culture and help others lead more shame-free lives. The defence presented is that we have medicines to treat and cure most STIs, after all, and the ones we can't cure we can manage such that folks have long and happy lives regardless. This is one of the reasons I liked this book, it gave me view from different perspective that I really hadn’t given much thought. I agree with the author's overriding message, which is that all shame should be removed from consensual sex.Zane holds partnerships with Grindr, Scruff, and Pornhub, and is currently in development on a TV show that explores sex across the United States. As a bisexual healthcare professional, I want to go on record that there is a difference between shaming someone for having an STI (which I will agree is bad) and shaming someone for a cavalier nonchalance towards infections which are actively mutating to the point where we don't have effective treatments for those who do get infected, often from partners who themselves don't know they are infected because a test doesn't show positive yet. Talking about sex and destigmatizing non-heteronormative and kinky sex in particular is beneficial for everyone in the end, especially in the face of a rising movement to deemphasize sex when discussing sexuality. Of course this book contains many more situations and authors opinions and experiences, but as I noted above, not everyone might agree with these opinions, but you don’t have to.