Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Nice Girls Book)

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Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Nice Girls Book)

Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office: Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Nice Girls Book)

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Delivery with Standard Australia Post usually happens within 2-10 business days from time of dispatch. Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery and due to various reasons, the delivery may take longer than the original estimated timeframe. When trying to break those patterns however, it is not uncommon to encounter friction or resistance, usually from male counterparts who are not comfortable with us breaking from our girl roles and becoming more assertive (although you might be more familiar with getting the term “bitchy” or “difficult”).The reactions we get are uncomfortable and difficult to cope with. To avoid that, we often rather play the “nice girl”, rather than asserting ourselves and asking for our needs to be met. Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office will make you aware of the typical mistakes that prevent women from reaching their full potential. It will help you learn how to stand your ground in a competitive environment, such as the workplace, and find the right balance between embracing your femininity and not making the wrong move in a game still ruled by men.

Get out of your safety zone--this is one I actually did *before* reading this book. After a bit of pressure/boost of confidence from a coworker, I volunteered for a writing assignment, and my boss said "sure." And now I'm quite nicely doing it. I'm stretching my skill set and learning new things. "If you're willing to take the calculated risk of possibly failing, it's not selfish to learn on the job."

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I gleaned many, many tips from the book (my poor library copy was tabbed to pieces), mostly subtle things that I can easily put into action--indeed, I already have tried out many of these action items.

So instead of continuously asking for permission, try to inform others of your intentions instead. Assume equality, and assume that if people have a problem with any of your words or actions, they will let you know. The book begins with a self-assessment questionnaire to help you identify what your strengths and weakness are, so you can concentrate more on your weakness. Each section includes a case study and bullet pointed summaries to help you deal with each problem. Some women ask for permission more out of habit than actually having to ask for the green light for something. By asking for permission before acting, we are less likely to be accused of making a mistake, but we are also less likely to be perceived as confident risk-takers.But also, don’t be so desperate to be liked that you end up being a people pleaser, because then you’ll most certainly be taken advantage of.

The author said avoiding office politics was a mistake. For years, I have been trying to avoid the politics because I thought I was above it, and I thought it was the "right" thing to do. My mistake. I am not quite sure where this involuntary reflex came from, but once I started to pay attention to the number of times I apologized unnecessarily it really started to bug me, and so now I make a conscious effort not to. Whether it is used as a conflict-reducing technique or as a way to avoid being perceived as if we are taking power or advantage from others, apologizing when it’s not due, makes us look like we are at fault, when actually, we are not. As Lois P. Frankel explains, “the corner office” is just a metaphor for achieving the career success you want. That doesn’t mean you need to aspire to be a senior executive, but you might have other ambitions such as a promotion, higher pay, or other perks which don’t necessarily have to revolve around the conservative corporate world. Even if what you’re out for is being your own boss, making a living from your passion, or starting something on your own, learning how to negotiate, taking credit when it’s due, being decisive, creating boundaries or better managing relationships that respect your worth will still have an important impact on your success. So below, I have decided to only cover the 6 behaviors that I found to be most relevant since I have identified them not just in my own behavior, but also had other female colleagues and friends identify with them as well. 1. Working too hard and doing the work of others.

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I had an epiphany-like moment over and over again when Frankel points out that when people shame a woman for unladylike behavior, it's not because there is such a shameful thing as unladylike behavior, it's because it's the easiest and most effective means of getting whatever it is they want out of you. It is important for titles to reflect as much of that responsibility as possible. Not just on the area of business that you are responsible for but also the level that the title implies. Like it or not, titles give certain information, not just for yourself, but also to those in your network both inside and outside the company, and therefore, the accuracy of that title can impact the connections, relationships, conversations, and opportunities that revolve around it. Have you listened to any of Lois P. Frankel’s other performances before? How does this one compare? She actually tells women it is too feminine to smile a lot. Take it from the other end, where I'm constantly told to smile, which is a microaggression in itself as women are expected to be accommodating, pleasant, peacekeeping. I understand body language being important, but telling people not to smile too much is confusing. What is too much exactly?

Stop needing to be liked. I think this is so ingrained in teaching gender roles--that it's better to be liked than many other things. Remember that when people are angry/annoyed at you, it might be because they're trying to get you to do something that they want/act a certain way. I'm not sure that I 100% agree with this, but I do know that being liked isn't necessarily the best method of achieving what you want at the risk of everything else. Think about what you want and why you want it. When asking for it, be straightforward, direct, and try to accompany your request with a couple of legitimate reasons why you should be given what you’re requesting. Women are given so many subtle (and not so subtle) messages about “where they belong” that we all too often remain inside an artificially narrowed box. But if you live your life within the boundaries circumscribed by others, you’ll never know your full potential – nor will anyone else. Overall…Read or burn? Stop using "upspeak"--making every statement sound like a question. I think I've gotten myself out of this this completely, but I know that I'm much more likely to couch opinions as questions, which I need to stop. Be assertive!

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The fundamental message of moving beyond what young women are taught about being 'a nice girl' is great. There are sprouts of really strong material around improving communication learned in childhood, definitely. But the structure of the book (a giant listicle) doesn't go in depth about any one, and there are better resources for this. Likeability and being perceived as “nice” is an incredibly important factor for success for both men and women, but it’s simply not sufficient. Therefore, it is crucial to balance being liked with being respected and understanding the difference between the two. If you are only concerned with being nice, your need to be liked will prevent you from taking the risks of those who are usually respected, such as voicing out contrarian opinions, or putting your foot down when being taken advantage of, for example. Contrarily, if you are only concerned with being respected and don’t care at all about being nice you risk losing the support of your network and in some cases… being perceived as a selfish inflexible jerk. And there is nothing worse than becoming a jerk when being nice is just so. darn. easy. So don’t be a jerk. Don't necessarily avoid office politics. I love politics, but office politics--especially in small offices--terrify me. You need to define what you have to offer to another person and what you need/want from the other person. "Each time you go out of your way for someone or give them what you they need, you've earned a figurative 'chip' that you can later cash in for something you need." Everything is in exchange for something else. My problem: actually cashing in my 'chips.' I *hate* asking people for things. Since then, women’s rights movements in many Western countries have successfully established near gender equality before the law – but when it comes to their careers, women are still at a disadvantage. This book is probably most relevant to women 45+ who are middle-management or above, who are already in traditional corporate environments and at a certain level of income. The way it is written and the suggestions provided don't feel relevant to my life at all. In fact, it often made me feel bad about myself and my achievements.



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