If sex is on your agenda for the evening, build up each other’s anticipation and desire during the day. You can do this by sending each other sexy texts or photos. Consider sharing passages from a sexually explicit novel you both enjoy. Scheduling sex also reduces the fear of having one of you repeatedly turn down the other when not in the mood. Set the stage all day

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Be open to each other’s ideas. Be willing to compromise on them, too, so that both of you feel heard and get what you need. Edgy or kinky sex isn’t, however, the key to a happy sex life. Mixing it up can be as simple as wearing different types of clothing or choosing new locations to have sex. The type of foreplay you engage in is also important. Help your partner learn where you like to be kissed and how you like to be touched. Talk about what arouses both of you. Provide plenty of it before moving on to next steps. Don’t skimp on afterplay It may also include the use of new positions and types of sex, such as oral sex, mutual masturbation, and anal sex.Healthline has strict sourcing guidelines and relies on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We avoid using tertiary references. You can learn more about how we ensure our content is accurate and current by reading our editorial policy. If you’re angry at your partner, find healthy ways to work out that emotion and to let it go. This may be as simple a fix as talking over situations as they arise that upset you. There’s a vast array of sexual activities you may explore as a couple, provided that both of you are comfortable. These can include everything from the use of toys and erotica to bondage sex, tantric sex, and more. Sometimes it can feel difficult, but talking to your partner about sex is an investment in your relationship. Here are ways for speaking effectively:

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Make suggestions to your partner about what you would like. Positive suggestions often work better instead of complaining about the things they’re already doing or not doing. Talking, cuddling, or holding each other after sex is a way you validate your relationship and let your partner know they’re important to you. You may want to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings. You may also just want to get it over with if you’re exhausted or can’t shut off your mind. Changes in hormonal levels can include reductions in testosterone production. This can reduce sexual desire and cause erectile dysfunction.Flynn KE, et al. (2016). Sexual satisfaction and the importance of sexual health to quality of life throughout the life course of US adults. DOI: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/relationships/all-about-communication/talking-your-partner-about-sex

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Be honest about what you want. However, don’t talk your partner into anything they’re not comfortable trying. Also don’t allow your partner to do the same to you. In movies, two people may eye each other across a crowded room and be ready for sex with nothing more than one hurried, albeit passionate, kiss. Schedule time in advance to talk about sex. By putting this conversation on your agenda, you eliminate the possibility that this talk will arise out of anger or frustration. But this can be detrimental to both your intimacy and ability to improve on your sexual encounters together. Sometimes it might feel easier to fake an orgasm or your desire instead of talking out why it didn’t work for you this time.No one’s sex life remains static. In the early stages of your relationship, you may have sex several times a day or week. Later on, how often you have sex may lessen for many reasons, including the addition of children into your lives, stress, and scheduling. Nagao K, et al. (2014). Gaps between actual and desired sex life: Web survey of 5,665 Japanese women. DOI: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-frequent-ejaculation-help-ward-off-prostate-cancer-20090929112 Schmiedeberg C, et al. (2017). The more or the better? How sex contributes to life satisfaction. DOI: