If I Can't Have You by Charlotte Levin is an all-consuming novel about loneliness, obsession and how far we go for the ones we love.

This is a fast paced story, for the most part. It meandered a little in the beginning, dragging out scenes with Robbie, Mia and Lizzie with guilt-filled angst that got a little repetitive but was important to understand Janet and her situation. I wanted to shake Janet, scream at her to ditch Colin. That she didn’t deserve all the self-hate, the abuse she put up with. That is wasn’t her fault. A 28 year old receptionist in a private doctor’s surgery in Kensington. A chain-smoking, emotionally stunted woman who is running away from her past having recently experienced a traumatic loss. Living in a crappy bedsit, drinking too much and avoiding her own feelings so when the handsome and charming Dr Samuel Stevens starts working at the surgery she can’t help falling for him. It’s the story of Constance Little, a tough cookie who appears thoroughly self-centred and unlikeable. When Dr Samuel Stevens joins the surgery where she works she becomes obsessed with him; he’s everything she wants in a man and it looks like he feels the same. The story follows Constance Little, a young woman who is desperately in love with her best friend’s husband, John. When John is tragically killed in a car accident, Constance is left heartbroken and alone. After a night out drinking with her friends she wakes up the next day in hospital having survived a horrific train crash and saved the life of a little girl but with no memory of the event. Thrust into the public eye and seen as a heroine, Janet slowly starts to regain memories of that night and it’s not quite what everyone is led to believe.

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As she’s recovering in hospital, unable to remember the events of the night, that video is released and a search for the woman who saved a little girl, Lizzie, gets underway. Lizzie is the daughter of a famous TV chef, Robbie, and his model wife, Mia.

Brilliant. A perfect and completely terrifying depiction of heartbreak and obsession' – Sarah Powell The story embraces some difficult topics — loss, grief, guilt, blame — but Levin handles them with the utmost sensitivity. I even found some sympathy for Colin, who at the end of the day was also a victim. But it was Janet I cared and rooted for. I really enjoyed “If I Can’t Have You” so I was super keen to find this book in the shop last week. Unfortunately, it widely missed the mark for me.

On the surface, Samuel is handsome and educated and he’s a doctor too so he must be kind, right? Wrong. He is wilfully blind, making false promises to women, pretending that he wants a relationship with them even though all he wants is casual sex. When those women call him out on his behaviour, he dismisses them as ‘nutters’. The whole book has a manic, anxious vibe. It was difficult to get immersed in it as it had such a relentlessly unpleasant undercurrent. This was exacerbated by utterly loathsome characters. I like Nish most but everyone else was… awful. I didn’t see the purported charm to Janet… she needed extensive therapy and an intervention. Her actions in the book were very warped and I found her lies and actions difficult to stomach. She could be cruel (her actions toward Mary illustrate this well) and I found her so difficult to empathize with or like. When Janet wakes in hospital with a head injury, she is thought to have been involved in a serious train crash. She can remember little of the evening, but footage emerges of her helping to rescue the daughter of a local celebrity. Before you know it, Janet is being interviewed on national TV and hailed as a hero. She can’t be certain, but Janet is convinced the details aren’t quite right. And how do you tell anyone of your fears when you’re trapped in your situation?

I'll be honest. I did not love the ending but at the same time, I felt like it worked for the events that happened prior to it. It was more realistic of real life, not the perfect ending that often in reality doesn't happen. Plus our Janet was brave. Coming out of this, I want to jump into this book and give her a huge hug. She's not a bad person.

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PDF / EPUB File Name: If_I_Cant_Have_You_-_Charlotte_Levin.pdf, If_I_Cant_Have_You_-_Charlotte_Levin.epub Her work has been translated into seven languages and she is a member of the International Thriller Writers organization. If I Can’t Have You has been optioned for television by Universal Cable Productions. But John’s death is only the beginning of Constance’s problems. It soon becomes clear that someone close to her knows more about John’s death than they are letting on, and they will stop at nothing to keep Constance from learning the truth. Janet is flawed and damaged but so immensely vulnerable that even though I didn’t agree with her actions I still could not stop sympathising with her. This is definitely a book where the character spoke to me and I followed the characters and their feelings more than the plot. I wish there was more of Nish. I'm sure if there had of been she would have been the voice of reason or the reason for change.