Learning to say no has been one of the best things I have done for myself. Not only has it challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection, it has helped me feel in control. As I became a freelance writer, then a company director, some of the offers became career opportunities. Again, saying yes by default worked like a dream. It put me in rooms I could never have imagined being in and won me contracts I had no right to win. Even having no money was kind of liberating – it meant I couldn’t lose anything. I realized I was afraid of saying no because my biggest fear is rejection. I was afraid that every time I did this, I would disappoint someone, make them angry, hurt their feelings, or appear unkind or rude. Dale Henderson recommends finding the line between being completely passive, and being aggressive and territorial – the former could lead to you being the office doormat, and the latter to you being perceived as unhelpful.

There's a lot of wisdom in Natalie's writing, but what was a struggle for me at first was getting through the writing style. I felt earlier on that some of the points could be made with fewer comma'd lists. In the end, this book has taken me nearly 7 months to finish. As for #Jono and #Jomo – well, for me, saying no and missing out are not where I find my joy. I find it when I am not looking for it: when I am making my friend’s children laugh, or when I feel a spontaneous surge of love for my husband, or when I am cooking dinner for my friends. Cohen says: “If you read the great poets of joy, like Rilke, they think of joy as something fleeting. There is something sad about it, because one feels its passing as one experiences it – it is not some kind of permanent aspiration, a solid state.” It is a word that loses all meaning when it is part of a hashtagged acronym. I am also learning not to talk myself into more work. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. It is great to be helpful, but there is a value in sitting on your hands and biting your lip. Delivery with Standard Australia Post usually happens within 2-10 business days from time of dispatch. Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery and due to various reasons, the delivery may take longer than the original estimated timeframe.Het verhaal kent een heldere opbouw die is opgedeeld in drie delen. In het eerste deel, stelt Natalie Lue de vraag of je een people pleaser bent en wat dat precies inhoudt. Het mooie aan dit deel is dat ze ook haar eigen persoonlijke verhaal deelt als enorme people pleaser waarbij ze zichzelf constant wegcijferde en te veel van zichzelf vroeg. For Chapman, life clutter builds up when we fill our lives with social events we do not really want to go to, work tasks we say yes to, when they are not our responsibility, toxic relationships and unhelpful thoughts and feelings. Just as Kondo promises to bring us joy by decluttering our homes, these books promote decluttering of a different kind – social, professional, psychological, existential – that, the authors tell us, will lead us to true fulfilment and freedom. And if you don’t have any good excuses, you then have to decide if you are going to tell the truth or come up with a lie. There’s a trap many people discover when they transition to retirement: saying yes to0 soon or too often. The problem? Your hard-earned freedom can be squeezed by commitments to other people’s needs, not your true priorities. Natalie Lue discusses her new book The Joy of Saying No and the specific challenges faced by people pleasers. She’s found that there are five distinct types, and each one comes with it’s own challenges. What boundaries might be wise to set in 2023? Listen in to my conversation with Natalie Lue for sound advice. Go on, try saying you’re too busy for a change. Never mind ‘yes, I can’ – sometimes, the very best answer is ‘no, I damn well can’t!’

It’s okay to make mistakes—nobody is perfect, and everybody does things that they regret; this is what makes us human. But that is not to say it was simple, he cautions. “I still find it very difficult. I still get flattered when someone says they’d like me to be involved in their project, and I still find myself saying yes to things that I really shouldn’t. I’m not pretending I’ve conquered saying ‘no’.” The aim of all this is to reduce the complexity of my life. Now, I try to work on no more than three projects in a day. Splitting attention between multiple tasks can leave you feeling out of control. Think about the anguish, stress, and resentment that saying yes has caused you. Wouldn’t it be so much easier and straightforward to just say no in the first place?The second step to learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others. But this is nevertheless something we need to grapple with. For Brinkmann, it is not only a question of our psychological wellbeing – although it is that too. He writes that self-restraint and missing out are as vital for the global population as they are for us as individuals because “for so long our lives have been based on overconsumption, untrammelled growth and whittling away at our natural resources”. His arguments are compelling.

Lo unico negativo es que lo sentui muy largo, al menos la primera mitad donde se explican los tipos de personas complacientes, muchas partes me parecieron innecesarias, pero aun asi es un libro que puedo llegar a recomendar a personas en especifico.At first, this approach worked for me. It was great to collaborate towards a joint end and to feel genuinely that I was adding value to lots of projects. About three years ago, I realised the only way to stop saying sorry was to start saying no It is interesting to see the reasoning of these people through the eyes of the author who initially speaks from experience and I feel that this makes it powerfully helpful to those who really need advice regarding how to set limits and above all start Say no to things you don't agree with. Practice saying no. Imagine a scenario and then practice saying no either by yourself or with a friend. This will get you feeling a lot more comfortable with saying no. Later, I found myself feeling absolutely terrible about having said yes and I wished that I had just had the guts to say no from the beginning.