If dilation is the only goal, there’s no reason to keep it inside once you’ve managed to get it in all the way. I’m not trying to instill the fear of vagina in you, but rather say that the vaginal contractions during orgasm can be really intense and when the muscles are stretched out so much and your hand is inside, they can feel very intense on your hand and the best thing to do is try to keep your hands relaxed and supple and just ride the orgasms out with her. After she’s done, one of two things happens. One, her orgasms can kind of shoot you out, and if she has one really strong orgasm, you can kind of be ejected, like from a spaceship, and your hand kind of falls out and she’s pulsing in orgasm and you can curl up with her and it’s all good.

There are not many regulations to be found on how to restrict weights of heaving lines, but at least the "Code for Safe Working Practices for Merchant Seamen" issued by the UK Maritime and Coastguard Agency, is very clear on this subject in section 25.3.2: "Vessels heaving lines should be constructed with a monkey's fist at one end. To prevent personal injury, the fist should not contain any added weighting material." And this can be a really intense moment and once you get inside you want to kind of hold still for a while. CR: We think the hands of the best sex toy ever because they are a sensitive, dexterous, and flexible. They can process so much information from what they’re feeling so that you can respond to your partner’s arousal with the most information because when you use a toy, you can’t get information about how it’s feeling to them in the same way that you can with your hands because you can feel the pulsing, the heat, the openings… There’s just more information you can gather through your hands so that you can provide more incredible sensation and pleasure to your lover. If a healthcare provider has recommended you use dilators, chances are they’ve also provided some guidance as far as size.

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We’re not saying you need to risk bankruptcy or anything, but choosing a quality dilator is important. As for the Port of Antwerp, Article 19.8 of the Municipal Police Regulations places clear responsibility on the master of a ship if dangerous heaving lines are being used. A free translation from Dutch reads:

Lube is a must to help ease the dilator in and prevent tearing. Apply a liberal amount of lube to the tip of the dilator and around your anal opening. Some tops are less tolerant about shit showing up during play than others. And most bottoms are far more worried about shit showing up than they actually need to be. The Belgian tug boat company URS, operating more than 30 tugs from their head office in Antwerp, for the servicing of ships on the Belgian coast and in and out of the busy Belgian and Dutch ports on the river Scheldt, has drawn Gard's attention to the growing practice of adding dangerous weights to heaving lines. It is recognised that a monkey fist just made up of rope is a bit on the light side if the skills of the thrower are inadequate, so seamen have always been tempted to dip it in lead-based paint or even to put a steel nut or other heavy object inside it. But it has also always been known among seamen that such practices are not appreciated by people on the receiving end of the heaving line. Very few people are going to be able to take a fist without first training their ass. And unless you’ve got a very patient and enthusiastic partner, you’re probably going to need to invest in a suitable toy. Relaxing your anus requires a relaxed mind and muscles. Try a hot bath or deep breathing before attempting dilation. If pleasure’s the goal, some solo play should do just fine. Use lots of lube

This episode originally aired in 2013, and we didn’t know it would go viral and become one of our most popular episodes of all time – still true even after 350+ episodes of the Speaking of Sex podcast!

Rubber gear comes with great rewards…and a little responsibility. Keep a few things in mind and your rubber fetish gear will be with you for a long time 💙 💙 💙 If your partner likes big penetration and playing with big toys, learn how to fist so you can give her tons of pleasure and enjoy the wild ride of getting your whole hand inside your lover! The first step to fisting is mastering the art of using your hands to bring her to states of high arousal. Discover everything you need to know in our Foreplay Mastery Course We’d love to hear from you and hear about your fisting adventures.CR: And remember that our guide is a perfect intro to all of this. We build up to one and two fingers in that, and then you can just keep adding more fingers with all the techniques that we teach in that video guide. It’s a great resource. So I hope that is enough information to get you started. It’s a great sex act. I applaud you for experimenting and trying it out and I hope that it goes so well.laughs) Right. I mean, when you have your hand inside there’s so many different little motions you can do- you can pulse one finger, you can do little circles… using a toy you kind of get it in there and then you can stir it around a little bit, but there’s a lot less nuance than when you’re using your hands. So some women like using really large toys to get that sense of fullness. Certainly explore that if you want, but know that your hands are the ultimate sex toy ever invented, and use them well! ADDA DADA's photography presents a variety of adults at different public events . These photographs do NOT imply the person's sexual orientation in any way. Everyone was asked and they consented to be photographed and posted Other STIs including hepatitis C might be more likely to be passed between partners in blood or anal mucous on the fist. Unlike HIV, hep C is a hardy virus that can hang around for a long time. That’s why you are cautioned not to share toys or lube between partners. If you give your toys a thoroughly good wash you should be good, but never share lube between bottoms. If you are fisting in groups, keep hold of your own lube for your own ass. In these scenarios it can be a real challenge, particularly when lost in passion, to ensure that lube from one person’s ass doesn’t make it up someone else’s. Other STIs like gonorrhea can also be transmitted through ass play because gonorrhea can be spread through touch.