Wearing a lycra thong takes naked bathroom selfie levels of confidence. Those who wore them would have to sashay past pensioners tutting so much they might as well have been beatboxing #werk.

So seriously, can somebody please tell me what we were all thinking through this phase where all our outfits revolved around shiny disco pants? THIS WAS A TIME WHEN CLOTHING WAS LITERALLY DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU FEEL SHIT ABOUT YOURSELF Those in Primark's fake disco pants would be identified via the wrinkly excess fabric that would group under the bum like a 90-year-old's chin. CAMEL TOES BECAME A CUTE ACCESSORY TO THE DISCO PANTS LOOK But what happened to jeans during this phase of our lives? Did denim factories across the country shut down? What did we wear when our disco pants were in the wash? The year was 2012 and the look was disco pants. Literally that was it – there was no room for interpretation. Aren't they amazing Steve, do you remember when I used to wear those to the church hall for the aerobics classes with Paula!?" THEY WERE SO EXPENSIVE, PARENTS WERE FORCED TO SELL THE FAMILY CAR TO AFFORD THEMSTRINGY CLIP-IN EXTENSIONS WERE ESSENTIAL TO COMPLETE THE LOOK AND THEY HAD TO BE VISIBLE FROM ALL ANGLES

Tight lycra is the body equivalent of a facelift, a work of structural engineering which could lift cellulite up to the heavens. Warning: Never ask girls in disco pants when the baby is due. HEADING INTO CLUB TOILETS AND HAVING TO PEEL DISCO PANTS OFF LIKE SELLOTAPE These clipped in extensions were always two shades lighter than your actual hair, and could be identified via its shiny overtones. It was never to be straightened unless you wanted it to melt into a plasticy pulp. With the tightest waistband known to man slicing through your stomach, the disco pants' middle seam hiked so far up your vagina, shuffling and rearranging was futile.