Not only will it have you roll your eyes at how mundane his “insights” are, his approach to telling you about them will bore you to sleep. Even as an employee or family member there are unwritten agreements about what you expect of each other to fulfill your responsibilities and make life flow as smoothly as possible for everyone. There are agreements on the consequences of failure and how to put this right. BREAKDOWNS At a very fundamental level, I believe the purpose of coaching is to support the individual to live in a manner that embraces their wellbeing, is fully engaged with the world and in harmony with all that is. Through research, observations and my personal experiences I have developed a model for life that I believe allows one to live in such a way. This model emerged out of an investigation of the overarching question of ‘how we must live’ and it now lies at the heart of my coaching practice, shaping both my coach presence and the nature of my interventions.

PACE: Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy - GIRFEC PACE: Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy - GIRFEC

The Actualising Tendency was central to Rogers person-centred theory and as a result, his work with clients. He believed that the Actualising Tendency was a fundamental part of every single client that he saw and also the main reason why the person-centred approach is non-directive.I hope that this has given you a good outline and understanding of the Actualiisng Tendency and the importance of its place within Person-centred Counselling. The intolerant "true believer" is a menace to any field, yet I suspect each one of us finds traces of that person in ourself.” When a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me” The paradigm of Western culture is that the essence of persons is dangerous; thus, they must be taught, guided and controlled by those with superior authority.”

Carl R. Rogers Quotes (Author of On Becoming a Person) Carl R. Rogers Quotes (Author of On Becoming a Person)

This is a gorgeous and inspiring work of art on creation, creativity, the work of the artist. It will gladden the hearts of writers and artists everywhere, and get them working again with a new sense of meaning and direction. A stunning accomplishment.” —Anne Lamott

A way of being

The Actualising Tendency is one of the most important theoretical components of Person-Centred Counselling. It refers to the motivational force that Rogers believed was in ALL living organisms. The question may well be raised, however, whether we could have a community or a society based on this hypothesis of multiple realities. Might not such a society be a completely individualistic anarchy? That is not my opinion. Suppose my grudging tolerance of your separate world view became a full acceptance of you and your right to have such a view. Suppose that instead of shutting out the realities of others as absurd or dangerous or heretical or stupid, I was willing to explore and learn about those realities? Suppose you were willing to do the same. What would be the social result? I think that our society would be based not on a blind commitment to a cause or creed or view of reality, but on a common commitment to each other as rightfully separate persons, with separate realities. The natural human tendency to care for another would no longer be “I care for you because you are the same as I,” but, instead, “I prize and treasure you because you are different from me.” I found myself doing this same thing—playing a role of having greater certainty and greater competence than I really possess. I can’t tell you how disgusted with myself I felt as I realized what I was doing: I was not being me, I was playing a part.”

The Actualising Tendency - Carl Rogers - Chris The Counsellor The Actualising Tendency - Carl Rogers - Chris The Counsellor

In place of the term “realness” I have sometimes used the word “congruence.” By this I mean that when my experiencing of this moment is present in my awareness and when what is present in my awareness is present in my communication, then each of these three levels matches or is congruent. At such moments I am integrated or whole, I am completely in one piece. Most of the time, of course, I, like everyone else, exhibit some degree of incongruence. I have learned, however, that realness, or genuineness, or congruence—whatever term you wish to give it—is a fundamental basis for the best of communication.” The Actualising Tendency can, of course, be thwarted or warped, but it cannot be destroyed without destroying the organism Carl Rogers – A Way of Being (1980) p.118 The Actualising Tendency does not only operate within the Organismic Self (who we “truly” are), but also in line with our Self-Concept. Our Self-concept is quite simply how we view ourselves as people. This can be very varied and also changeable throughout our lives. It may be anything from ‘I am worthless and no-one likes me’ to ‘I am powerful and I can achieve anything I like.’ (and everything in between.) So as the Actualising Tendency is not only operating in line with our Organismic Self, it is operating in line with how we see ourselves. As a result, if we have a negative view of ourselves, then we will do whatever we think enhances and grows that view of ourselves. And this may result in negative or destructive behaviours. (see an example of how I relate this theory to the JOKER here) Self-Actualisation – Not the same as Maslow The chapters on theory have a bit more content, but are limited to, for example, a chapter of short vignettes, which leaves the feeling that the ideas are better explained elsewhere. I also felt that these chapters were generously sprinkled with a feeling of ‘look how neatly my ideas worked’ and ‘if only everybody did this’ at the expense of actual content. Atomistic individuality characterised by an obsession with ambition and competition have become salient features of our world, first emerging in the post-Renaissance age of Enlightenment and coming to bear its full force in the modern and post-modern eras (McGilchrist, 2009). Ian McGilchrist attributes this situation to the ascendency of the left hemisphere of the brain over the right hemisphere. The right hemisphere is seen to be the source of creativity and emotional understanding, while the left hemisphere is viewed as being occupied with rationality and the certainty of knowledge.

The chapters on his life, by and large, didn’t seem to offer much insight and spend a lot of time naming people and places.

A Way of Being Quotes by Carl R. Rogers - Goodreads

I believe that play should be viewed as more than just a tool to facilitate work and that there should be no separation between work and play. Life should be play. Indeed, this idea has significant implications for executive coaching. Commenting on the secret of happiness, Bertrand Russell advocates letting our “interests be as wide as possible” (Russell, 2006, p.109). While not definitive in his language, I believe that Russell was advocating an attitude of play towards life that emanates from taking a general interest in the world. McGilchrist traces the rise of the left hemisphere to the “hubristic movement which came to be know as the Enlightenment”, which saw the right hemisphere’s wisdom being devalued as “irrational and therefore wrong” (McGilchrist, 2009, p.329). Today, we observe the dominance of linear, reductionist, rational thinking in all walks of life, where this has perpetuated a culture that constantly seeks to be in control. Both our obsession with control and the illusion of it is clearly evident in society’s approach to accidents, illness and death. “The left hemisphere sees itself as the passive victim of whatever it is not conscious of having willed” (McGilchrist, 2009, p.432). Death therefore represents the ultimate challenge to our sense of control and is viewed as something to be feared and delayed, rather than accepted as a natural cadence in the ebb and flow of life.

Change Website Language

Noticing how you notice new things is the way you make sense of your world and make new distinctions. This is how you learn to change your Way of Being by observing how your language, and emotions. moods and physiology determine the actions you can take and the results you then get. Your learning becomes adaptive when you can see the story and the interpretations you are making that aren’t getting you the result you want, and see what changes you can make to your Way of Being to make a difference. In a VUCA World, you have to react to novelty and adapt within shorter time spans. This demands more of your sensemaking than your analytical skills. Going forward