A child is not capable of seeing the big picture. So if your parent had ignored or not paid attention to you, you would receive the message that you were unimportant and did not deserve a place in the world. You might also have justified your parents’ behaviours by assuming it was your fault that they neglected you. When these feelings and beliefs crystallize and are brought into adulthood, they can significantly hamper your ability to take up space and be confident and assertive. Daring To Trust written by David Richo and has been published by Shambhala Publications this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2011-07-26 with Family & Relationships categories.

Another reason parents suppress a gifted child’s ability to shine is that they feel intimidated. If you were a gifted child – whether intellectually, emotionally, or spiritually – your parents may not have intended to hurt you, and they may not have been aware that they were constantly silencing you. But because they were uncomfortable being seen through and confronted continuously with your radical honesty, they tried subtly or explicitly to keep you from voicing your views. Moreover, if they do not have a good relationship with their emotional world, your strong emotions and intensity may also be felt as a threat to them. So, to protect themselves, they make you think that you are in the wrong for showing your feelings and speaking your truth. Because you have internalized the message that your natural self is a threat to others and that your parents would “love you less” if you continue to take up space, you have been conditioned to mute yourself. Daniell Koepke is the author behind the Internal Acceptance Movement (I. A.M.). In her first poetry collection, Daniell gives voice to the fear and anxiety, as well as the perseverance and strength, that has been fundamental to her own personal growth journey and the path to deeper and more meaningful self-love and acceptance. In her own words, this book is for 20the 17-year-old Daniell who was convinced she was worthless who was convin Being authentic means your words reflect who you are, not who you think you should be. This requires you to let go of the worry about how others see you, which can feel uncomfortable. But when you realise that no matter how hard you try, you can never control how others perceive you, you may feel free to follow your heart and express yourself anyway. Daring Dreamers Club 2 Piper Cooks Up A Plan Disney Daring Dreamers Club written by Erin Soderberg and has been published by RH/Disney this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019-06-04 with Juvenile Fiction categories. The Art Of Daring written by Carl Phillips and has been published by Graywolf Press this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2014-08-05 with Reference categories.

One reason parents silence gifted children is to protect their siblings. This can happen in various ways but often includes the idea that the gifted child must not stand out or be arrogant. As a result, the gifted child is not allowed to participate in more challenging work or activities, not praised for their accomplishments, or even hidden from other family members. You are allowed to take up space. Own who you are and what you want for yourself. Stop downplaying the things you care about, the hopes you have. Own your passions, your thoughts, your perceptions. Own your fire. Stop putting your worth in the hands of others; stop letting them decide your value. Own saying no, saying yes. Own your mood, your feelings. Own your plans, your path, your success.”

Taking up space means occupying physical or psychological territory assertively and confidently. You can do a few things to start taking up more space in your life.

Why You May Have Difficulty Taking Up Space

In a healthy relationship, what you exchange is balanced and not overly skewed one way. Thus, you shouldn’t always be the listener or supporter but also have room to ‘take’ other people’s support, listening, and time. People with narcissistic parents are afraid to take up space because they have learned that it is not safe to do so. They may have been constantly criticized by their parents or made to feel small, which has caused them to doubt themselves and their worth. As a result, they often think they have to apologize for their existence and be quiet to avoid attention or criticism. In addition, children of narcissistic parents may have difficulty asserting their own needs and desires because growing up; it was never about them. Whenever they express their needs, they are punished. So even as adults, they feel a compulsive need to always pander to others. If your parents are emotionally volatile, violent or abusive, you would have trained your nervous system to be constantly on high alert. You are trained to act solely based on what you see in your parents’ expressions. If you had the impression that your parents wanted you to laugh, you laughed. If you had the impression that your anger inconveniences them, you would suppress it. You would have done everything possible to keep the peace, not stir up conflicts or bring punishment onto yourself. If you carry this conditioning into adulthood, you will not know what to do in an organic relational space. So if you are with someone you cannot ‘read’ or who does not seem to tell you what to do, it would bring you deep anxiety.

Some parents do not abuse their children but are so emotionally vulnerable that they rely on their children for support rather than be in the caretaking roles. Children of these parents are said to have been ‘parentified’. One can be parentified by taking on tasks like running errands or cooking, but it is even more damaging to be emotionally parentified. (For an in-depth article on what it means to be parentification, please see here). If you were emotionally parentified, you would constantly be taking care of your parents’ psychological needs. You might be a counsellor, a mediator, or a friend to your parent. You may even fill in a gap left by one of your parents’ absence and stand in as a surrogate partner. To learn to take up space, you must recognize your intrinsic value as a human being, regardless of what you can do or accomplish. Once you have a solid foundation and know you are inherently worthy, you can also accept love from others. My one critique is a very minor one. I find that the poetics are a bit simple to the point that it’s not something I’d read simply for the pleasure of reading or for writing inspiration. It’s very personal & direct & focused on helping one toward self-acceptance. Not imagistic or with deep or intriguing metaphor or simile. Then again, it’s not from the perspective of a singular poet writing about their own experience. It’s meant to teach & instruct & help. A very minor critique & more just mentioned as it’s very different than any other poetry I normally read & review. Taking Up Space written by Chelsea Kwakye and has been published by Random House this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2019-06-27 with Biography & Autobiography categories.Do you find it hard to engage in any self-promotion, even in situations where it is appropriate, like a job interview? People unable to take up space often experience heightened social anxiety because they find unstructured situations intimidating. When there is no clear objective or rules to a situation, they would not know what to say or do, and if they do not know how to please the other person, they would feel lost. Trusting that you are being loved for who you are entails having faith that others will love and value your inner qualities, such as your personality, character, and what comes from your heart. In contrast, to be loved for what you do is to feel or believe that others want you around solely because of what you do or have accomplished, your social standing, and what you can do for them. Taking up space” can be benign, beneficial, or toxic. For instance, it is natural for a leader or expert in a group to take up space, so they are heard and respected. At the same time, someone can take up space in a toxic way, such as always dominating conversations, excluding others, acting contemptuously, etc. When people take up more space than is necessary, they communicate that they are superior and that their needs are always more important than others. Dare Dream Do written by Whitney L. Johnson and has been published by Routledge this book supported file pdf, txt, epub, kindle and other format this book has been release on 2016-10-21 with Business & Economics categories.

Try not to think of this as an egotistical act. Instead, think of your expression as a contribution. When you speak up, you share your thoughts and open up opportunities for others to share theirs. Afterall, even if only one person benefits from what you say, it would be worth bringing it out into the world.

take up space

Suppose you have to strive to prove your worthiness constantly. In that case, it will be challenging for you to be playful, spontaneous, or creative, relax in relationships, and produce original, impactful work. Ultimately authenticity is the only way you can genuinely connect with others — how can others relate to you and build a deep connection with you if they never hear what you feel and want? If you were parentified by vulnerable and needy parents, you might internalize the unconscious belief that you are loved not for who you are but for what you can do for others. This can bring a lifelong struggle for unconditional love and acceptance of yourself.