Taylor Sparks is an erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven, one of the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shops.

This oil-based lube is made with coconut oil and organic silicone, so it will last a ridiculously long time without reapplication. Because it's oil-based, it's not suitable for use with latex or polyisoprene condoms, but you can use it with your silicone-based toys, which is a major win. Also important: There's also a water-based spin-off formula if you dig the idea but want something usable with latex condoms. The best tip for lube is that there is no such thing as too much—especially when you’re first starting out. Silicone vs. water lubeTHE REVIEW: As one person writes, "By far the best anal lube we’ve used to date. Water-based yet still viscous enough to use for longer running anal play. A little goes a long way." FYI, i f a lube advertises itself as “numbing,” then you want to stay far away. Lube that makes butt stuff less painful sounds too good to be true...because it is. “Never, ever using a lubricant that numbs the anal sphincter,” Organic Loven founder Taylor Sparks previously told Cosmo . “This is the one place that you want to know what is painful so that you can stop whatever action you are taking, and not wait for the numbing lubricant/cream to wear off and realize there has been damage.” Numbing lubes with analgesics or desensitizing agents in them (like benzocaine) won’t let you know you’re overdoing it until after the fact, when the lube wears off, which is not ideal.

When we’re talking lube, we mean the real stuff—silicone or water-based lube—not spit. Saliva actually dries out your skin, making it less elastic.

is some pain to be expected? i know when i first started using larger toys (10-13 inch circumference) the first few times i couldn't get them in because it was a feeling i didn't experience with smaller toys so i didn't put much force trying to get them in, turns out that "feeling" is normal and i pushed pasted it and am used to it now, i'm wondering if it's something similar with my current situation? although i definately felt minor instances of pain tonight trying to get past sigmoid, and i am slightly sore when i stretch or push down on rectum/colon from my front side Silicone does have its downsides though: it stains sheets and lingers on surfaces (and people). Put a towel down or throw “play sheets” over the bed before things get going. Make sure to wash your hands thoroughly before touching items in your bathroom, too. Oil lubes

THE REVIEW:"So I bought this after doing plenty of research and was curious if this would be a good lube for anal intercourse…and [it] EXCEEDED the expectation of just being another basic silicone lube," writes one customer. "We tried it on both of us, and the texture is unlike any other brand...[and] we have tried many brands to date. It seemed to make everything go in and out easy with very little lube degradation or anal pain." Why? Unlike your vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate—nope, not even a little bit. "No matter how turned on you may be, there is nothing to prevent unwanted friction unless you add lube," says Amy Boyajian, CEO and co-founder of sexual wellness boutique Wild Flower. "Not only does this help to prevent painful microtears, but it will make anal sex way more pleasurable."

How to apply lube before bottoming

Lube is a bottom’s best friend. Rectums can't secrete their own lubrication like vaginas do--lubes fulfill that function. With no shortage of choice out there, finding the right one for you—especially if you’re just starting out bottoming—is key to keeping things safe, friction-free and fun in the bedroom. This guide is to help get your head around what lube to use, how often to use it and what types you should definitely avoid. First off: lube means lube (and less definitely isn’t more) And while there's no ONE lube that's best for anal sex, some are better than others. Silicone-based lubes are great for P-in-the-B action, since they're silky and long-lasting but can't be used on silicone toys, Boyajian explains. Water-based lubes, on the other hand, work well with silicone toys and are easy to clean off sheets and clothes, but they may be less luxurious feeling. blindkill so 13 inch toy seems huge lol... puts my regular old 8 and 9 inch ones to shame for sure. I didn’t realize everyone didn’t get to this place honestly till last year, or even what it was called. My first time with a guy, he was rather big and during the night I felt what I called the pop... that was it. I can get to and in with my toys... granted it legit takes every bit I prob need a bigger one just for safety. For me, when I reach it I feel the pressure, similar to when I first start with the toy it’s just on the inside. Then there’s the resistance... that’s when you gotta start moving it around a bit to just find an angle that works... The best for me is angled a bit up (towards stomach). Take your time and pain is not good... but there is nerves there again like at the entrance and the sensation of getting to and past it can be intense and amazing.