Five dozen…it’s 60. (That’s a bingo call, it’s where you’ll be spending your evenings from now on you old soak) Dad I’m struggling to find pants that fit you at your age so I’ve just popped a tenner in here and you can sort yourself out. Happy 60th. You’re one year older than Doctor Who, an ancient decades old alien who’s been around longer than the whole of humanity. That’s got to be depressing. Happy 60th Birthday Hubby. Your penis might look like a chipolata and your balls keep getting caught in the floorboards but I still love you. You’re now entering the period of your life where all of your favourite childhood film and tv has been remade twice over.

Happy 60th Dad. This is the time of your life where you forget if you’ve put your trousers on or not. For an amazing best friend on your birthday. I was going to put money in this but 60 was just too high a number. Happy 60th Bro. Now you’re 60 you’re going to start weeing at random, forgetting where you left your keys, groaning after every minor limb movement and finding bits of food wedged in your nose hair. Fun times ahead. I was going to get you some anti-aging cream but there’s not enough of it in the world to fix that wrinkled old mug.Happy 60th Birthday to my amazing wife. Your hands might not be able to touch your toes anymore but at least your tits can. You may be the same age as some of the exhibits in the natural history museum but we still love you. s like a warm hug. If you were naked, in the woods and it was from a bear who hadn’t eaten for 3 weeks. Happy 60th to a special husband. Men are supposed to look better as they age. I guess that must have skipped you.

To a special friend on her 60th. Once we were young, hip and happening. Now we’re old, need new hips and absolutely nothing is happening.

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