Namely, Nice Guys have usually experienced abandonment in their early years and do not want to live through that experience again. Nice Guys are passive-aggressive. Nice Guys express their frustrations and resentment in indirect, roundabout, and not so nice ways (being late, forgetting, not following through, etc.) That way, it’d be easier for you to walk away from them when things get rough; life is messy, and sometimes they do; however, this doesn’t mean that it’s your responsibility to fix them. Most nice girls believe that by repressing the darker side of their feminine energy they will win the approval of dudes. This seems logical considering the anti-female climate that has permeated our culture since always.

And until you harm someone, you should also do everything within your power to making your dreams come true. Over time I came to see, that like me, the road map of these passively pleasing men unconsciously influenced every area of their lives. I came to realize that I wasn’t the only man thinking that if I was just nice, people would like me, they would meet my needs without me having to ask, and I would have a smooth, problem-free life. When I first read this book, it absolutely floored me. As my buddy Mike had alluded to, it truly did read as if the author had been stalking me for the past few decades and documenting my every move. Dr. Glover strongly talks about the importance of setting boundaries with everyone in your life. He stresses that this is an important factor when recovering from the Nice Guy Syndrome. He said that setting boundaries will help tremendously in the dating world. Most women like a man who has their ideas, goals, and has respect for themselves. Apart from not using "Nice Guy" in the title (ugh), I wish someone had said to Glover, "You know the part where you compare a man's relationship with his wife to him teaching a dog not to piss on the floor? Yeah . . . don't do that. No, seriously. Don't do that."It's the whole framing of masculinity that fails with this book. This isn't unique to Glover, it's true of our culture as a whole. Here's Glover's definition of masculinity (loc 1524):

The second even more critical flaw is that people are secretive. Sure. Great. Have a spouse read it as encouraged by the author. Problem. If your relationship is shaky you just opened a Pandora’s box of hesitation and speculation. You hav potentially created a problem deeper than anything this book can solve.Having boundaries and saying "No" are not poor qualities; instead, they are highly respectable qualities. People are attracted to those who know themselves well and establish clear boundaries. If someone is a pushover then who is that person really? They have no boundary to construct their identity with. Be assertive and stop acting like you’re the victim; start expressing your feelings and start setting boundaries; don’t treat people and circumstances like problems that need to be fixed: see them as merely people and circumstances. Nice Guys are manipulative. Since they don’t want to ask what they actually want explicitly, Nice Guys frequently resort to manipulation when trying to get their needs met.

Sentence-Summary: No More Mr. Nice Guy explores ways to eliminate the “Nice Guy Syndrome”, which implies being a man that avoids conflicts at all costs and prefers to show only his nice side to the world, even when it affects him negatively by damaging his personality and preventing him from achieving his goals in life. I decided to start working on my situation. I joined a men’s group and started working with a therapist. Honestly, my initial goal was to find out why the people around me weren’t responding so well to my Nice Guy philosophy, and I wanted to find out how to get them to change. I would like to say that I've read your book three times and each time I read it, I still get blown away.”

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The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use. Integrated Males like themselves just as they are and take responsibility for their own needs; they are comfortable with their masculinity and sexuality and do what they believe is right, not what is expedient. I discovered and learned so much about myself which I didn't like, I also realised things I have been doing that hasn't been serving me for years. But most importantly, I love that Dr. Glover also gave recommendations on how I could overcome my shortcomings a live a more powerful and super successful life as a strong man... Even in today's gyno-centric world. Nice Guys fix and caretake. Even without being asked, Nice Guys often try to fix other people’s problems, regardless of the type or severity. I came across your book just before Xmas. I am currently reading it for a third time. It is fantastic! Absolutely fantastic. Dr. Glover, your book is one of the best books I have ever read. I am a well read person (two university degrees), and your book is one of the top five books I have ever read. Why, oh why, did I not come across this a long time ago? I could have saved myself a lot of grief.”