It is no surprise to me that this is the focus of the current wave of “how can I fix my life” angst. The wish to say no instead of saying yes, to stay in instead of going out, to discard instead of to accumulate – these are all logical responses to our feelings of being overstretched, overtired and overwhelmed. Clinical psychologist Rachel Andrew says she sees this in many forms in her consulting room, with patients saying life is too stressful and too pressured, or describing themselves as detached and their lives as meaningless and unsustainable. Maurice Mcleod, a writer and local councillor, found that his inability to say “no” caused him serious problems when he went freelance about a decade ago. He took on so many projects and agreed to do so many favours that, he says, he was living with “a constant feeling of unease and panic. Every time the phone rang, I’d think: ‘Oh my God, who’s that, what haven’t I done?’ It was this constant feeling of letting people down.” He took on so much unpaid work that he had to refuse work that was paid, got into debt, and realised the only way out was to just say “no”. Please be aware that the delivery time frame may vary according to the area of delivery - the approximate delivery time is usually between 1-2 business days. I am also learning not to talk myself into more work. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. It is great to be helpful, but there is a value in sitting on your hands and biting your lip.

I remember this one time that I said yes to something and then later felt so bad about it that I ended up lying my way out of it. I still feel bad that I lied. And if you don’t have any good excuses, you then have to decide if you are going to tell the truth or come up with a lie. Gezonde grenzen stellen is iets wat ik erg moeilijk vind. Daarom lijkt dit boek me uitermate geschikt voor mij om bewuster te worden van mijn gedrag, de achtergrond daarvan én hoe ik dit gedrag kan veranderen. Ik ben enorm benieuwd of dit boek me hierbij kan en gaat helpen. Deze hele simpele en heldere cover spreekt me erg aan en vind ik perfect afgestemd op het onderwerp van het boek. No is not a dirty word. Follow author Natalie Lue’s six-step plan to find your no so you can create healthier boundaries and reconnect with your values and authentic self. If you depend on other people’s approval, what you are basically saying is “Their opinion of me is more important than my opinion about myself.”Learning to say no has been one of the best things I have done for myself. Not only has it challenged me to overcome my fear of rejection, it has helped me feel in control. The second step to learning to say no is realizing that you are valuable and choosing your own opinion about yourself over others.

It’s okay to make mistakes—nobody is perfect, and everybody does things that they regret; this is what makes us human. There's a lot of wisdom in Natalie's writing, but what was a struggle for me at first was getting through the writing style. I felt earlier on that some of the points could be made with fewer comma'd lists. In the end, this book has taken me nearly 7 months to finish. I have learned that if you live your life depending on other people’s approval, you will never feel free and truly happy.After committing to something, doubt eventually sets in and you may begin to think of ways you can get out of it. If, like me, you’re having trouble saying no, this may help. Saying No Doesn’t Mean You’re a Bad Person Did you ever wonder why it was so easy to say no when you were a little kid and why it has become so difficult now? What happened? Wise Quotes On Why We Say Yes – When We Really Want to Say No“I think a lot of the time we say yes because we are on some level afraid of what will happen if we say no. And that might be a very conscious thought in that moment, but often it’s more of a feeling that we have that we just almost automatically respond to it by saying yes.We like to make people feel good, and that means different things to different people. But in that moment, even though we might already know, I really, really don’t want to do that, we make that person feel good by letting them believe that that’s what we want to do. We like that. We like being thought of as nice and helpful and as unselfish and good. And these prompt us to say one thing on the outside and have a totally different thing going on internally. I think it is a habit.” On Boundaries“I wrote this book because I genuinely had discovered the healing and transformative power of saying no and having boundaries. And I make a point of saying that because I think that people see boundaries as saying no and telling people what to do. And a big thing that I learned about having boundaries was boundaries are about being more of who you really are. Because then we’re operating from a place of integrity, authenticity, and honesty.” On Your People Pleaser Entourage“What people discover when they start saying no is that they possibly have a people pleaser entourage, certain people in their life who benefit from them not saying no. Celebrities sometimes have that group of hanger-ons. And even though they’re blowing all their money none of these hanger-ons point that out because they don’t want to stop the gravy train. So a lot of people pleasers discover there are certain people who are really reliant on you just going along with things and that can feel very uncomfortable initially. What they also discover though is that a lot of the things that they were nervous about saying no to aren’t really that big of a deal.” The mantra that you should say yes to everything is nothing new (much like the cliche about asking for forgiveness, not permission, although that doesn’t sound so good in the post-Weinstein era). “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you are not sure you can do it, say yes. Then learn how to do it later,” Richard Branson once said.