Over the past few years, the use of the term “gaslighting” to refer to this phenomenon has shot through the roof. While the word has been in our dictionaries for over half a century, its precipitous increase in usage began around 2013 and hasn’t slowed since. People who use this as a form of abuse and control are really adept at doing so in ways that happen over time," Ms McDuff says. You doubt your feelings and reality: You try to convince yourself that the treatment you receive is not that bad or that you are too sensitive.

Gaslighting has a significant impact on mental health, so people who experience it need to make sure they look after theirs. There are several ways to protect oneself from this form of abuse. Gathering evidence Kukreja P, et al. (2023). Workplace gaslighting: Conceptualization, development, and validation of a scale. Psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator."

It Takes Two to Tango

The problems arise when Gaslighting is a frequent shadow that trails behind our relationships and partnerships.

Firstly clarify to yourself how, when and who is gaslighting you. Think about what ways they make you feel unhinged and like you’re losing it. Write down whatever you can think of. You must be able to confirm that you’re being gaslighted before you can move on with your life. Christensen M, Evans‐Murray A. Gaslighting in nursing academia: A new or established covert form of bullying?. Nurs Forum. 2021. doi:10.1111/nuf.12588 For example, the person or political party may downplay things their administration has done, discredit their opponents, imply that critics are mentally unstable, or use controversy to deflect attention away from their mistakes. Institutional gaslighting Gaslighting can occur in any type of interaction, but it is especially common in: Intimate relationshipsHere’s the No. 1 thing that ‘destroys’ relationships, say researchers who studied couples for 50 years Gathering evidence of events may help someone prove to themselves that they are not imagining or forgetting things.

Gaslighters use a variety of subtle techniques to undermine your reality and portray you as the disturbed and messed up one. These include, for example:

Ms McDuff says abusers often use "flat-out denial tactics", such as refuting that something has occurred, often "in response to some inappropriate behaviour" they have been called out on. How our use of 'gaslighting' has shifted They will use aspects of positive reinforcement. To confuse you, they are well aware that confusion will lead to or cause weakness. Decide whether it’s worth continuing your friendship or relationship. If you’re in a working relationship, think about whether it’s worth staying in your job or not. If you want to stay, think about ways to minimize interaction with the gaslighter until you feel grounded and confident. Gaslighting is defined as manipulating someone into thinking they’re wrong even when they’re right. A form of emotional abuse, it can be used to make the victim question their own mental wellbeing. It was used by the medical profession for decades before being named the buzzword of 2018. The word itself comes from the name of a 1944 movie in which the male protagonist convinces his wife she is losing her mind. While you may have heard about gaslighting in this context of relationships, it’s actually present in many other aspects of day-to-day life. Paige Sweet, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Michigan, studies domestic abuse and believes gaslighting is deeply rooted in societal structure and social inequalities. Women are more likely to experience gaslighting both in professional environments and in their personal lives due to these inequalities, she says. “The assumption and stereotype that women are overly emotional, sensitive, irrational or fly off the handle easily is used to excuse the dismissal of their feelings and experiences,” says Sweet. She uses the example of women being treated for ‘hysteria’ in the 19th Century, adding that women’s emotions are still used as evidence for them being unwell in the stereotypes put on them today.

Abusive parents or caregivers may gaslight children to undermine them. For example, when a child cries, they may say they are “too sensitive” to shame them and make them stop. Medical gaslighting It's just the very nature of how it's done … it can really sneak up on people and how it's making them feel." Institutional gaslighting occurs within a company, organization, or institution, such as a hospital. For example, they may portray whistleblowers who report problems as irrational or incompetent, or deceive employees about their rights. Workplace gaslighting Changing the subject. The gaslighter may divert the topic by asking another question, or making a statement usually directed at your thoughts, e.g. “You’re imagining things—that never happened!”“No, you’re wrong, you didn’t remember right.”“Is that another crazy idea you got from your (family member/friend)?”Gaslighting –“The term may also be used to describe a person (a “gaslighter”) who presents a false narrative to another group or person which leads them to doubt their perceptions and become misled (generally for the gaslighters’ own benefit), disoriented or distressed. Generally, this dynamic is possible only when the audience is vulnerable, such as in unequal power relationships, or when the audience is fearful of the losses associated with challenging the false narrative. Gaslighting is not necessarily malicious or intentional, although in some cases it is”, according to Wikipedia . It most commonly occurs, however, in the context of intimate partner violence as a deliberate strategy to gain control over a victim, says Respect Victoria acting CEO Ms McDuff. For example, a person or institution may say that an activist campaigning for change is irrational or “crazy,” or they may deny biases if someone confronts them about microaggressions. Political gaslighting You wonder if you are what they say you are: The person who gaslights you says words make you feel like you are wrong, unintelligent, inadequate, or insane. Sometimes, you even find yourself repeating these statements to yourself.