That is a bundle of generalisations and stereotypes, but then few things are guaranteed to polarise opinions – and boost sales – as much as how we raise and educate our offspring. Of course, French parenting wouldn't be worth talking about if it produced robotic, joyless children. In fact, French kids are just as boisterous, curious, and creative as Americans. They're just far better behaved and more in command of themselves. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and preliteracy training, French kids are- by design-toddling around and discovering the world at their own pace. The French do not lose sight of the fact that you are a person first and a parent second. Children are not the bee-all and end-all of life. They should know their place and how to behave in that place. Lise Fuccellaro believes British children may be less disciplined than their French cousins, but says they often grow up to be nicer adults: "French children may be better brought up in the strictest sense, but they grow up to be very individualistic," she said. OOH LOOK, WE'RE IN THE STORE! HERE WE ARE IN THE STORE! DO YOU SEE THE SHELF? THAT'S THE SHELF! THE SHELF HAS BOOKS ON IT! MOMMY HAS TO GO TO THE COUNTER! MOMMY NEEDS TO RETURN A BOOK, WHEN WE DON'T WANT BOOKS ANY MORE WE RETURN THEM!"

French mothers often have a greater sense of detachment from their children, says Dr Caroline Thompson, a Paris-based child psychologist and family therapist who grew up in America until the age of eight and has a British father. She believes differences in parenting are largely down to the difference in how the mothers view themselves.Lise Fuccellaro, mother of four children aged eight, 12, 14 and 16, lived in England for seven years before returning to the Paris region. Infuriating. But once I got past the crazy, indulgent American parent v. calm, wise, strict French parent nonsense, I could enjoy this author's engaging, witty writing. Obviously I disagree with the premise that the French are better parents. Sorry, a 2-month-old sleeping through the night is not uniquely French. Neither is an obedient, well-mannered child. The author's view of parents in Paris, as well as her research of numerous French parenting ideas, is extensive. Had she applied her journalistic skills to discovering what we American parents are doing across the Atlantic, instead of relying on what she sees wealthy parents doing in a park in New York City, or even worse, what she read in What to Expect When You're Expecting, she would have understood more of her American subject matter. We don't snatch up our infants at every tiny noise they make. We don't allow our four-year-olds to crawl under the table and bite our hostess during dinner. And I've never seen a parent slide down the slide with a child. I especially disliked the section on sleeping babies. To someone who has tried "la stinkin' Pause" for many a baby, and many a night, my babies never figured it out like her precious "Bean" did in 9 minutes. how annoying. Bénédicte Lohe-Le Blanc, 38, a teacher originally from Brittany, and her husband Vincent, 39, live with their three children, Sten, 11, Yaelle, nine, and Kenan, six, in west London. She believes British parents are lax with their children. they should give this to every woman who gets pregnant so she can read it before her children are born”

There were a lot of positive points too (those that either I or the author found positive). There were all those good bits about French parenting like recognising but allowing children to make 'betises' (little naughty acts that don't warrant an over-reaction), encouraging children to develop a broad appreciation for different foods and the parents not giving up ALL of their selves/time to their children (though I do note, somewhat uneasily, that in French films where adults are the main characters, we may not realise at all that they are parents, or if we learn this, the children are rarely even SEEN, let alone have any part in the story). Many of the French women work, as it is made much easier by state preschools and child care. The teachers are well trained and schooled, parents often resume their pre-baby lives but do so with a new member. Again, I fail to see how the author can say this doesn't affect the difference in parenting styles.Even still, it was BORING. I cannot buy into the fact that EVERY French child is raised exactly the same, and that EVERY French child turns out well behaved. every chapter was just generalization after generalization - All french mothers do this and it works, and all american mothers do this and look how we hover. The place of a child in its mother's mind is much more defined and separate in France. An Anglo-Saxon mother faced with the piano-thumping child would be saying 'what is my child feeling?'. A French mother would be asking 'what am I feeling?'. If we empathise too much with our children that it becomes intolerable to punish or limit them, this is terrible for the child. If you believe your main objective is to be liked by your child, you are in big trouble." What is most infuriating about this book is how many people say it’s a must read for new parents. I am a new parent, I don’t have time to waste on crap like this! In France a child is rarely considered an equal, but a small human being ready to be formatted, partly by its parents but mostly by the state education system. It has to be encadré, kept within a clearly and often rigidly defined framework that places disciplines such as manners and mathematics above creativity and expression.

I was originally going to read the first couple of chapters, which deal with infants, and stop there. But much to my surprise, this was a far better book than I had imagined. What I was expecting was another pat, self-help-section miracle solution to everyone's parenting woes type of book (the endorsement by and comparison to French Women Don't Get Fat wasn't helping). What I found instead was an honest, informative, well-researched, and well-written account of an American mother raising children in Paris - and trying to understand the sometimes startling cultural differences she saw. Positive Takeaways- It's possible French parents feel less guilt because they have a more standard parenting method compared to American's buffet of child experts- who usually contradict one another. I was surprised at how much I disliked this book. I couldn't read very much without putting it down in disgust. It just made me so mad. American and French society are so different that of COURSE American parents differ in their parenting styles. I don't think one journalist talking to a bunch of friends and neighbors can constitute a new parenting style or even be included as a parenting book. Friends in London admire our children's faultless script – they learn to use fountain pens in the first year of primary school – but are horrified when told that the neighbours' six-year-old was declared " nul" – useless – by his teacher and marked down, even when giving the correct answer, because their ornate, loopy, joined-up handwriting was not up to scratch.

Let me first say, that I am not a parent. Nor do I intend to become a parent in the near future. I would like to have children within the next four or five years, but am in no rush within that time frame. So I know how odd it might seem for a non-parent to read a parenting book. Some have complained that the author's comments are observational, not scientific. True. But that makes her observations and comments no less valid; or, even, less true. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. Truly, I was thrilled someone actually noticed this, and that the pediatrician she interviewed had the same thought as me: You're doing it to reassure the world that You are an Awesome Parent. Meanwhile, everyone around you thinks you're nuts.

There does seem to be a cultural difference in the construction of parenting guilt. Likely fueled by a judgmental and competitive American society where moms are judged on every decision or choice: natural birth or epidural, breastfeed or bottle. The author argues that the judgement comes from having multiple different parenting philosophies and attempting to validate your choices. French parenting is made easier by one cultural approach. Americans believe faster development is a sign of better parenting, while the French all believe in exposure and joy. No rush. Again, yes, there are parents who over-schedule, over indulge, over parent, but I fail to see that as an entire American phenomenon. This will be one of the only - if not THE only - parenting style books I read. I'm a Francophile anyway, but I loved this American expat's take on the study of French parenting & how she tried to integrate it, as best she could, into her children's lives while living in Paris. Firm rules & boundaries, but with freedom within that. Respect for children as intelligent beings capable of learning - and NOT in need of constant hand holding to do so. Respecting the fact that parents have lives & needs - and that the world doesn't revolve around your kids. No hovering, over analyzing, emphasis on "parenting style", constant praise, paranoia like American parents today do. One of my biggest peeves is having a conversation with a friend who's attention is about 50% - because the other 50% is talking to or entertaining their kid. French children are taught that being alone & entertaining yourself (even as toddlers) is expected. Their parents respect them enough to allow them to do so, and in return, they respect their parents' needs separate from them, too. that would be horrible, of course. I love staying at home with the kiddos and my kids don't have to be in daycare to be socialized. that is a horrible myth. The book is also filled with inaccuracies. The supposedly French and superior method of raising children described by the author is so obvious and indistinguishable from what many American parenting books suggest. Here’s an example – her revelation about getting French babies to sleep through the night is “La Pause”, which is just to not respond as soon as your baby makes a noise. I haven’t read any books that suggest you do this and I don’t know any parents that do this. Either the author has a very small and odd set of friends which are coloring her perspective or she wrote this as an amusing work of fiction. The author supposedly quotes the well known book What to Expect as evidence of how neurotic American parenting books are except I read that book and did not recognize any of the ridiculous quotes. Maybe she has a copy from the 50s. She also talks about how the French methods of raising children are based in science and American ones aren’t, citing circadian rhythms as one example of this. I don’t know what parenting books she is reading, but they are not any of the mainstream ones that I have been reading because they are almost all written by doctors or at the very least, cite medical rationale for their assertions. I really can’t believe the author is a journalist. I could go on and on with examples of how poorly written and comically inaccurate this book is, but I have two babies and useful books to read, so I won’t waste my time.The only take away that I have from this book is that only because we are parents doesn't mean that our lives have to be centered around our kids every second of every day. I already knew that. She says that French mothers are consistently "happier" than American parents. I could be cheery with my kids all the time too if they spent all day 5 days a week in day care. I could be perfectly patient and gorgeous for the remaining two hours of the day that they were awake. The New York Times Wins an Emmy (Its Tenth)". The New York Times Company. 6 October 2017 . Retrieved 16 August 2023. They eat their greens, don’t throw tantrums and go to bed on time… How French mothers’ ‘tough love’ means their children never step out of line” I do think there is a generational phenomenon of helicopter parenting and Mommy martyrdom; however, I don't think that defines America's parenting practice as a whole. While I appreciate the mentioned French notion of fostering autonomy, I don't believe it was an earth shattering new parenting philosophy or approach. I laughed through the explanation of fostering autonomy by allowing children one swear word, one that has been used and said by many generations: "caca boudin" (translated to caca sausage). Apparently, if I let my boys run around the house saying "shit", as it is only to be done in private, they are gaining important lessons in self worth and autonomy. Ummmmm, ok.