The only way to become the assertive person that you want to be is by DOING it. Follow the steps. They are SO UNCOMFORTABLE AT FIRST. But it really does get easier with time.

You’ll start to see that there is no threat in the disapproval of others, which allows you to relax in a deep and powerful way. You’ll also see that being in healthy relationships with others is not at all like walking on a tightrope. It’s actually more like a five-lane freeway. You can veer left, right, and all over the place, and still stay connected. Book Genre: Health, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Relationships, Self Help I have the right to say yes to having sex, to enjoy sex, and to pause during sex to have a conversation. This book as made me incredibly assertive, REALLY spiked my confidence, lowered my anxiety, and even lessened my stuttering. And it goes away more and more every day. In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert and clinical psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice.

This was like WOW! I am personally a very empathic person and would usually care that other people are feeling great in my presence. However this resonated with me because people’s choices to feel good or bad is like I said A CHOICE, that I have nothing to do with. Long answer: I've struggled with people pleasing, anxiety, low self esteem, and stuttering my whole life. I wanted to please everyone. Say yes to everyone. Say yes to nobody. Everybody else came before me. Someone asks me to help them move? HOW could I POSSIBLE say no? Because if I say no, then they won't like me any more right?

I have the right to offer anything to anyone, any number of times (and they have the right to say no). I have the right to change my mind; I do not always need to be logical and consistent. You cannot stop others from feeling all discomfort, or all pain. It is an impossible task, a fool’s errand." If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say “no” to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness.I see the words "nice-guy" and it induces nausea and repulsion. Ok maybe not to that extent. But I definitely don't see "nice-guy" the same as I used to. Not at all.

This book gives you a new pair of eyes that you can never close. You see things you never saw before. You realize just how much people apologize for ANYTHING that doesn't warrant an apology. A friend recommended this book to me and it was definitely a good one. For most of my life, I had been "conditioned" to be the "nice guy," always thinking it was better to just avoid conflicts whenever possible. After reading this book, my view of both myself and the world really changed. Rather than shy away from conflicts, we should embrace them. Rather than "cover up" how we're feeling, we should just let it out. We care way too much about what other people think of us. Honestly, it's more honest to be direct with your feelings; trying to cover up how you feel is manipulative. I'm going to fight my urge to be nice to critique this book. I will say the nice things first--I thought the exercises toward the beginning of the book were really useful and helpful. Especially the one about writing down all the rules that you've made for yourself that you feel bad about breaking and the one about trying to figure out exactly what you like and want. Ok. The not nice... All in all we are definitely being manipulated on daily basis under the magical spell of BE NICE and NOT NICE book is a legitimate way to break the spell A good example is how kids just say what’s on their minds. They simply blurb stories mid way and start talking with enthusiasm about absolutely none-sense with no censorship nor concern about what you MIGHT think of them or their story! They just assume you will like it because they genuinely like it themselves.People will always have something to say about you. Even if you are the nicest person on earth (nice people already know this!)