Not once in 20+ years did he voice his unhappiness or dissatisfaction. Much like your wife too. The decision to cheat is made and the betrayed spouse is in the dark. In fact, they may become obsessed over the turn of events. The imagination tends to go wild when it is just depending on speculation. Sorry you are going through this. First and foremost take care of yourself. If your insomnia continues, you should go see your doctor about it. It's hard to make good decisions when you are sleep deprived. Thanksgiving, I thought, she'd message. It was our most favorite holiday. But, I ended up spending time with family, went to a party yesterday, and have some great plans tonight as well. I've realized, my life truly is better without her in it.

Cheaters love to get technical when it comes to sex. Anything other than penis in vagina is not "sex". Before we delve into the steps required to recover from infidelity, the big question is, how did this happen? How did your marriage fall so far that one of you would stray? I’m sorry you are here. Welcome to this shitty club, awesome people here but a shitty club nonetheless (no offense to anyone here, you know what I mean). The popular view is that it’s a symptom of something going wrong, but opportunity, context, someone’s emotional state and social situations can also be predisposing factors for affairs.” Someone who has previously been sexually active with a wide variety of partners may find it easier to have an affair than someone more chaste, for example. Likewise, someone who goes on lots of work trips. Next, look in the healing library or do a search for the "180". You need to detach from her, emotionally separate yourself from her and let her face her consequences and decide what she's going to do. For now, find some peace and joy in things aside from her entirely. Start working out, going for runs/walks... anything. She has to choose and fight for you and the kids. It's tough love and it's a good thing. She can sleep somewhere else in the house or maybe go and move in with family for a few months.

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We both have good jobs and the nice house and everything we would ever need it had been a great ride up until a few weeks ago. (One caveat to the above my company, had hired a new CEO and I was passed up for a VP job earlier in the year for somoene I run circles around. So I had not been happy with my job & have been interviewing to move on causing a little stress and distance with me) She turns expressionless and shades of green, then goes into the bathroom for twenty minutes. I feed the kids and she sneaks up the stairs to our bedroom. She says we have just been talking and he get's me.

I really want to hear from people who have survived this and kept their marriages together and more importantly, made their marriages better after this betrayal. A long and loving marriage has a foundation in faith and honesty ; infidelity will tear apart that foundation in the blink of an eye. As you and your partner begin to work on your relationship in the aftermath, rebuild that trust incrementally. Trauma after an affair is dilapidating for the cheated spouse. The betrayed partner often wonders, “how long to recover from infidelity?”. The other thing that worries me about the 180, is that she knows me better than I know myself. It seems to me that she will see right through it, and still know exactly how I feel. I am bad a lying especially to her. The trauma phase is the most difficult stagewhen an affair is disclosed or discovered. The revelation shatters your confidence and makes you feel like your whole world is collapsing. It is advisable not to make any decisions about the future course of your relationship during this grief phase, as you are left feeling lonely, angry and confused.

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Often, the discovery of an affair creates an unequal dynamic – one partner becomes crushed with guilt and accepts their pariah status, the other becomes judge, jury and executioner. But this is not particularly helpful or sustainable. Cheaters lie, so what you are hearing is likely the tip of the iceberg. And the trip to the bathroom with the phone, yeah there was a lot of deleting going on, A LOT. In either case, your marriage is in trouble and it’s time for you to get clear about what you’re willing to do to change your marriage for the better or to take the necessary steps to end it. Developing the new relationship stage announces the most crucial decision about staying together as a couple, or letting go and moving on. If you decide to rebuild a future together with the help of expert professional intervention, you will be able to findways to make the marriage work for you with newfound understanding, flexibility and strength in your marital partnership.