I went to church with a sorrowful heart. Saddened that I would feel such ugly, vile feelings, and sadder still with the realization that because of the hurt I felt, I could inflict that pain on someone else. Yet in that service, through the worship and scripture, I was assured that God had come to rid me of that wart of imperfection and to comfort my hurts. I walked out of that service with a much softer heart. Now, as I’ve just said, we are all hurt. We are all traumatized. I’m not sure anyone in the world is utterly and completely and irrevocably healed, and given the difficult nature of life, new wounds and traumas are likely to occur as the years roll on. This is perfectly okay. Round and round the wheel spins, hateful comment after hateful comment, smug look after smug look, and all this blame blame blame. The part of this incredible promise that feels the most difficult to me comes from my own human struggle with forgiving. How do I forgive someone who has harmed me, particularly if they do not seem at all interested in accountability for that harm? At times it can even feel like I have been harmed and yet the person harming me, or the institutions that shape that harm, appear to have no awareness of the harm at all. How can I forgive that? Nothing and no one is exempt Yes, “ hurt people hurt people ” may currently be a trend among the human race, but please, allow yourself to understand this — you have the power to change all of it.

We can feel into the energies and emotions that underlie our behavior; we can look at these parts of ourselves that are often hard to look at—what Pema Chödrön calls “ the places that scare you“—with gentleness, inquisitiveness, and compassion. Often we will find that we acted out of fear—fear caused by prior wounds—and we can then discover a tenderness for the wounded child (or adult) within us who is afraid and acting out. A tweet from @lluvzz contained the adage and also the phrase “Break the chain today”, but it did not credit anyone: [11] Tweet, From: lori o @lluvzz, Time: 6:15 PM, Date: February 27, 2011, Text: Hurt people hurt people.. That’s how pain patterns gets passed on.. generation after generation after generation.. Break… Continue reading Maintain an objective awareness of yourself, and remember that “It all starts with you” is in fact exactly that — a starting place. Give others the time and space they need to initiate their own journey of rising above the pain. Focus On Mind & Body Health Rituals – Make an effort to have healthy habits.Habits might include personal grooming,regular physical exercise ,meditation or skincare routines. Focus on things that make you feel good about yourself. Why do people hurt the ones they love? It’s a simple question with decidedly complex answers. 1. You Don’t Realize What You Are Doing

It’s really not about US at all. It is about THEM and what’s inside them coming out and projecting onto us. Taking responsibility can be the hardest part. No one likes being wrong. Very few people find pleasure in knowing they are responsible for hurting someone else.

Similarly, trauma responses can cause a person to react with anger and fear on an instinctual level when they feel like they are threatened or in danger. But, again, that requires compassion with firm boundaries as well. It’s not okay to accept abuse or bad behavior because someone else suffered. Suffering is infinite, and you are only one person. There can also be a warped sense of ‘justice’ on an unconscious level. A person might consciously wish to avoid reenacting the hurtful behaviors that were inflicted upon them, but unconsciously they might feel resentful and think, “This happened to me, I had to deal with this, so other people should have to deal with this too.” And then without realizing it, they subtly reenact the behaviors they wish to avoid. Sometimes, hurting someone you love is simply due to proximity. Everyday aggression can and does occur frequently. Really though, this is damn stirring food for thought. Lest we get the idea that we’re simply Beings of Light or Totally Irrevocably Healed or something, Solzhenitsyn is like, “Fools! Remain forever vigilant, for the shadows you perceive outside yourselves exist within your very hearts!” This is a humbling and unsettling dose of truth. You could be hurting the one you love because you are subconsciously trying to find a way out. Reassess your relationship, decide whether you want to continue, and make sure you are doing everything you can to stop hurting your partner and yourself.When we’re hurt very deeply, the pain sinks into our deep being—into our hearts, our bodies, our cellular memory. And the recipient of my mental charade of wrath was being directed at the person who had offended me. Yet that individual was blissfully unaware of the anger that was dancing a duet without its partner. It’s like the domestic abuser that takes great care to hide their actions, then claims they didn’t know that what they were doing was wrong. Or an unfaithful person in their relationship who claims they didn’t think it was a big deal. Of course they knew these actions were wrong. That’s why they were hidden. They didn’t want to suffer the negative repercussions of their actions.

But again, I’m not unique. For every one of me trying to get on the straight and narrow there’s a thousand wounded healers there to support, listen, hold and care. Being in a relationship does not mean giving up all your preferences. Wanting independence is not a bad thing; we all need alone time every so often. With proper communication, your partner can understand your needs and give you space without feeling hurt. 9. You’re impulsive

Hurt people hurt people.

And if you are a person who wants to stop causing harm to others, really try to get at the reason why that is. It will likely require a therapist to get to the bottom of the problem and start working on a solution. Life doesn’t have to be that way. Most problems can at least be managed if not resolved in a meaningful way.

You might have commitment issues, be extremely critical of your loved one, or even blame them for all your relationship issues. For example, your partner may point out an issue in your relationship that needs fixing. In response, you tell him that there is nothing wrong and that he is overreacting. These people show compassion and empathy that only someone who has been hurt can truly offer. They hold out their arms, extend their table and offer an ear whenever it is needed. No matter what. The incident happened at about 1.30pm on Thursday outside a school, Gaelscoil Choláiste Mhuire. Police said a five-year-old girl, a woman in her 30s and a man in his 50s sustained serious injuries. The girl was receiving emergency medical treatment. A five-year-old boy and a six-year-old girl were treated for less severe injuries. The boy was discharged from hospital.

When we’re wounded deeply, especially as children, we often develop dysfunctional behaviors to cope with our trauma.