Rather than believing that your father hurt you because you were unlovable or not worthy, you begin to realize that what he did wasn’t about you, but rather a reflection of the person he is and the circumstances he has been through. Her mother. I could have strangled her throughout this read, and I must point out that I would have liked to have known more about her abominable attitude towards her daughter. We find out snippets of information that shed a little light regarding her stance. Completely submissive towards her husband, she will go to great lengths to convince herself that Elizabeth is the culprit, but can be redeemed if she accepts God! Anger and resentment: Frustration, anger, or resentment towards the absent or neglectful father figure for not fulfilling their role or providing support.

As long as we accept these words as truth, we will navigate life feeling depressed, anxious and angry. What does the father wound look like? A father wound can manifest in various emotional and psychological ways, and the specific feelings experienced may differ from person to person. Start with facts about what happening during your childhood. Write down all the ways your father hurt you or failed you. Write down about how it affected your life.I started this book with trepidation as not only is it a genre which I have never read about, but up until now, it is also a subject frivolously ignored by me. This sounds very flippant; however, I am sure the majority of parents and young adults who will hopefully read this book, haven't had this kind of experience or have had to live such a tragedy like Elizabeth's. If we can all learn a little something from her harsh lesson, the author's words will never be in vain. Anxiety: There could be a combination of things and events that have contributed to you experiencing anxiety. Growing up with an (emotionally) absent father may have left you with a feeling of “I am not good enough” and perhaps you have hidden feelings such as a sense of loss, anger, shame, sadness and anxiety is trying to keep those deeper emotions at bay.

Try to know more deeply your father's adolescence. Did he feel like a failure at all? How? Might that wound, being unhealed, be part of his interactions with you?

How to Know If You Have a Father Wound

Strom: "Listen kid, I kinda like you. I don't like too many people but I take care of the ones that I do." Trust issues: Difficulty trusting others, especially male figures, due to past experiences of betrayal or emotional neglect. A first step is to get to know your father more deeply. What was his childhood like? Was he mistreated or bullied? Was he wounded? When he then became a father himself in his early 30s he was flooded with feelings of anxiety and dread. He didn’t have a clue about how to be a father and he often hid at work as it felt so uncomfortable having a child that needed him. He felt ashamed as he had always told himself that he would be present for his children and suddenly he felt that he could not be that father he wanted to be. A father wound can leave a person feeling low, depressed or anxious about their parental relationship. A parent is supposed to offer unconditional love, and if you see that others have that, it’s hard to understand why you don’t. Often, this anxiety or depression turns to anger. Individuals may feel robbed of a happy, normal childhood. They may also feel deeply hurt by their father’s actions or absenteeism and grow resentful. Rigid Boundaries

Either way, it’s important to understand your father’s influence upon your life and heal your wounds. Related: Healing From A Narcissistic Abuse By A Parent – 7 Practical Strategies Father Wound Causes Am I condemning myself as a total person on the basis of a single event or the opinion of a single person?

Healing Help From FHE Health

Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption by Elizabeth Garrison is comprised of the real life experiences of the author. Elizabeth Garrison grew up in a strict Christian home where her father practiced corporal punishment. When she was twelve years old, Elizabeth had her first drink. Alcoholism ran rampant in her family and it was no surprise that the young girl soon became addicted to the feelings she got while drunk. Abandoning her academics and sports, Elizabeth’s sole fixation was on where she would get her next bottle. She began to spiral out of control, drinking and doing drugs to numb the pain from her childhood abuse, and to chase away the memories of horrible things that happened to her at the hands of her father. In and out of recovery, it wasn’t until Elizabeth had a revelation about her life that was the key to discovering her sobriety and herself. Do you see that your father is more than his specific behaviors of insensitivity toward you? Can you see someone who might be more unsure than strong inside, someone who never got the chance to heal those wounds? There is no word to describe this read other than hellish, and that would be putting it mildly. This is where she got to ~ hell! I was literally astounded by her account and not in a good way. It is so honest, so crude and so devastating that at times I was appalled with her behaviour, at others, I wanted to take her pain away regardless of whether or not I was a bystander in a horrendous scenario. The build-up of her story is slow but more than comprehensible. There is always a reason why someone chooses to take the path of self-destruction and this is explained step by step in her story. Having difficulty opening up and connecting with others, making it hard to form meaningful, long-lasting relationships and friendships Do you think that over his entire life to this point, your father has any regrets down deep inside? Shame or guilt? Feelings of inadequacy?