This story also touches on other important aspects of sexual violence: how it affects more than the people directly involved, how it changes the way you relate to everyone around you, and how it perpetuates until it is stopped. And perhaps most importantly, stories like these are a reminder that we rarely know what's happened in other people's lives, and what has driven them to drink, to sleep around, or to betray friendships. I hope boys especially are encouraged to read this, and that the book helps to reshape the dialogue about trying to understand--and being compassionate about--those around us, even if and especially when they're behaving in ways that are hard to understand. (Eden endures a shit ton of slut-shaming, both casual and threatening.) Anger, acting out, promiscuity, and changes in behavior are often triggered by traumatic events, and seeing the warning signs and trying to act upon them might help someone in desperate need of kindness. this story is written across four years. the first part being eden's freshman year, then sophmore, junior and senior. we get to see how she grows and copes with her trauma throughout the four years. This is such a lovely novel, full of real, raw emotions that will make you cry, feel sorry for the characters, and feel for them.

i loved reading this book. even after putting it down after the first chapter i couldn't help myself but think about continuing. and so it went on: i woke up in the morning and basically flew to this book. 🙃I'm mad. Really mad. The book is Eden's downward spiral into a girl who sleeps around trying to forget the trauma of her rape and replace that touch with someone else's touch. I have no problems with that and I am 100% there for Eden as someone who has been the victim of a sexual crime (mine was abuse instead of assault, though). I know how hard it can be in the aftermath of your brother's best friend violating you. It's hard to tell anyone, especially your family because they love him so much. Never once did I dislike Eden and I still want to take her to my bosom and make everything better for her. She's why the book gets one star instead of no stars at all. Reading "The Way I Used to Be" reminds me a little of my experience reading a few of Ellen Hopkins books. No poetry here, but it's very raw and doesn't shy away from showing Eden's story in graphic detail. That means showing what happened to her during her rape and the aftermath in showing how it affects Eden's ability to relate with the people around her - from her family to friends to love interests. Suffice to say, Eden doesn't treat other people very well, let alone herself. It's a difficult spiral to watch; I'll admit there were times when I found it hard to watch Eden go to the point of no return with screwing up her relationships and trying everything she can to numb her respective pains - drugs, sex to offset her rape, pushing away all the people closest to her or even using other people as a means to end. Despite times when I wanted to throttle her or say "No, no, no!", I felt for her. Throughout the story I wanted so badly for her to overcome the spiral, even if there were moments where I felt numb by the holes she dug so deeply in her life. Then my mom shakes the robe at me, offering me a lie I didn’t even need to think up. She starts getting that look in her eye—that impatient, it’s-the-holidays-and-I-don’t-have-time-for-this look. Clearly, it was time for me to get going so she could deal with this mess. And clearly, nobody was going to hear me. Nobody was going to see me—he knew that. He had been around long enough to know how things work here. The plan is to select and read a book every month, then discuss the work during the month’s last week (to give everyone time to read it!). I will post some questions/quotes to get things started, but I would love for this to grow into an open discussion with and between you all. Whenever possible I hope to have the author, or another prominent voice on the subject, join the conversation.

But that’s not what’s going to happen today, I know, as I sit in my bed, staring at my stained skin in disbelief, my hand shaking as I press it against my mouth. I just don't think this book does anything new, or offers a different and interesting perspective. And, given that there are many rape survivor experiences out there still waiting to be told, it's a little disappointing to read this. Many books do what this book does... but better. The things that she did and her way of coping was annoyingly painful. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and tell her to speak up, tell them. But i just watched her suffer and hurt everyone around her until she was left all alone💔 I've read many books about teenage girls who were raped, from the classic Speak, to last year's harrowing tale of how a girl is let down by everyone around her - All the Rage, to the recent book about a girl with a strong support network - Exit, Pursued by a Bear. These books are incredibly important for fostering discussion about rape, its aftermath, and the way we treat rape victims. The Way I Used to Be, however, adds nothing but more paper to the pile.By the time I get out of the shower—still dirty, after scrubbing my body raw, thinking I could maybe wash the bruises off—there he is. Sitting at my kitchen table in my dining room with my brother, my father, my mother, sipping my orange juice from my glass—his mouth on a glass I would have to use someday. On a fork that would soon be undifferentiated from all the other forks. His fingerprints not only all over every inch of me, but all over everything: this house, my life, the world—infected with him. Authors, if you are a member of the Goodreads Author Program, you can edit information about your own books. Find out how in this guide. I hate that just because you happen to be good at something,people automatically think that's what makes you happy,but it's not really like that, you know? It's not that simple.” Das Buch ist eine echte Empfehlung, für alle diejenigen, die ein ernstes, emotionales aber auch herzergreifendes Buch suchen. When Eden was just fourteen, she was raped by her older brother's friend. He sneaked into her bed and told her he'd kill her if she told. After that, she's never quite the same. She can't tell anyone what happened, so she ends up internalizing it and trying to grab control wherever she can. She quits band, she starts acting like a control freak in her book club, and she starts changing her appearance. Then she starts hooking up with guys, becoming quite promiscuous. Almost like she's trying to play out what happened, but with full control.

I wanted for her to tell somone just ANYONE. It frustrated me So. Many. Times. Like it would've made the whole book a bit more better and understanding. I get it how hard it can be how depressing it can be.The fact that Eden’s story was told in four parts—one for each year of high school—allowed the reader to see that nothing goes away. Trauma and pain and anger and regret and sadness don’t just retreat to be buried by other feelings. They simmer right under the surface like a second pulse. What happened to Eden doesn’t fade as she gets older. It takes on new shapes, ones with sharp edges, ones that cut and flay and destroy any sense of confidence she might have had. Seriously, what are you staring at?” he mumbles with his mouth full of pancake, in that familiar brotherly, you’re-the-stupidest-person-on-the-face-of-the-earth tone he had perfected over the years. Mara, I don't feel conflicted about what she did; I thought it was okay. She repeatedly attempted to inquire as to what was wrong, advised her to seek assistance, and did so many other things! But when she had enough, she nearly left, which I understand. However, I did enjoy her. But she could've done things the other way. PDF / EPUB File Name: The_Way_I_Used_to_Be_-_Amber_Smith.pdf, The_Way_I_Used_to_Be_-_Amber_Smith.epub