Once, after a friend’s party in Brooklyn, I drunkenly took a cab into Manhattan alone and picked up a girl at the borough’s only good lesbian bar, Cubbyhole.

She watched films featuring same-sex couples and read a lot of reports on lesbian, bisexual and queer (LBQ) communities. In 2020, there are a (limited, but decent) plethora of shows which depict lesbian and bisexual women, from a Los Angeles chief of police to a candidate for mayor to a trendy women’s magazine editor to a Midwestern adult in middle-aged crisis. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I think there was also a part of me that liked tempering my fastidious long-term planning, my conventionalism, my seriousness with their wild spirits, their rejection of every social expectation. I even reported out an entire article about intergenerational lesbian relationships a few years ago.We met for real on Tuesday, after I’d rebuffed the offers of some other women following my Kelly Clarkson performance. I’d failed to pack ahead for any of the themed nights (including a very culturally questionable “Caribbean Queen” theme), so I fretted about what I’d wear, especially when Lynette showed up at my door wearing a goddamned tuxedo. Judy had to come up with all the money up front — she convinced 500 women from around the country to put down deposits a full year ahead of time, with no real guarantee that the ship would ever sail — but it sold out nearly immediately. When we met, we’d been two postgrad dirtbags, drinking beer out of paper bags in the park on weekday afternoons, sleeping on air mattresses and in hallways. But I left the meetup keenly aware of how much there was for all of the cruise’s passengers — despite what we had in common — to disagree about.

This week, we want to celebrate the diversity and lived experience of lesbians worldwide, and help us all feel proud of who we are. I assumed, at best, that all passions cool somewhat over the years; at worst, I thought something might be wrong with me. Leila thinks domestic abuse in families where a woman is suspected of being lesbian or bisexual is a big cause for concern. When there are still so few LGBTQ characters on TV, sometimes we have to actively seek out queer women onscreen.

Many members of the group say they have experienced violence at the hands of family members who became suspicious about their sexuality. Yes, Batwoman is the first out hero (or villain, for that matter) in the DC Comics world, and, naturally, she has an awkward relationship with her ex, Sophie, who’s also working to protect the city. In my relationship, I often worried that I was taking on the femme role to my partner’s masc — the Wendy to their Peter — in ways that weren’t always positive or healthy. At karaoke later in the week, a young trans guy who’d been at the meetup would introduce himself to Jamie and thank her for speaking up. Embracing fully developed, complicated, lovable (and sometimes unlikable) queer characters is also an important part of being an ally.