As she gets to know him, she starts falling for him and it gets harder and harder to leave. Even when he pushes her down the stairs or pulls her hair with the intent to hurt, she can't just leave because by that point she loves that man. Her heart makes excuses for him and she forgives him again and again.

It’s a running joke with my friends/family/co-workers that I have a robot heart. And for the majority of the time it’s true. I generally experience two emotions – happiness and annoyance. But even a robot like me can be manipulated into having a feeling/crying the ugly tears like a Kardashian once in a blue moon (*cough Me Before You cough*). This time, though? It was like a flashing neon sign . . . . the main plot revolves around abusive and toxic relationships within families. it really opened my eyes to the emotions of those in these types of situations and helped me gain a lot of perspective. because of this, i think it's important to read this, but it's not enjoyable. it's definitely a really frustrating process to read. And in this book, we see Ryle presented as, not a bad person, instead, only a "person who does bad things". Now, I've been thinking about this line. I wonder if it was Colleen’s intention to have Ryle say this line to purposefully show how he manipulates Lily into having this mindset or if Colleen really does think this way. Ryle is indeed a bad person, and abuser who is irredeemable. I understand and agree that it is at times, difficult to label someone as “bad” or “good” as it is more complicated than that. But there comes a point, that person is a bad person (for instance, when he tries to horrifically rape her and guilt-tripped Lily with his trauma). Colleen attempts to evoke confliction in the reader by writing in that Ryle donates to charity. Yet, this is not enough. One donation does not make you a good person, especially when compared to the severe harm that you’ve caused others. I cannot believe that after Ryle attempted to rape Lily, there are still Ryle apologists out there. That moment was absolutely mortifying. Unfortunately, I was too far gone and too far in love with the idea of Ryle and Lily to make room for Atlas and because of that, I'm not sure if I'll ever be fully satisfied with that ending. I was happy that Lily was no longer a victim of domestic abuse. I'm glad that after all that happened between them, Lily and Ryle parted on good terms. I'll forever be heartbroken over the idea of what could've been. And I feel indifferent to Lily and Atlas. Sorry not sorry, Atlas. That basically sums up all my feelings in a nutshell.It's been a couple of days since I finished 'It Ends With Us' and I'm still thinking about Lily's story. It's one that'll hang with you. In so many ways, her story gutted me. Yet, it was also inspiring. As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan-her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.

In regards to Ryle’s trauma, it is something that he weaponizes to manipulate and guilt-trip Lily. It does not excuse the abuse and I think it’s gravely concerning for people to blame the abuse on his trauma. Although it’s understandable to feel bad for what he had to go through, it is all used to manipulate and abuse Lily. There's an incredibly powerful message in this book that is very subtly woven in from the start. It begins in the first chapter, but you don't yet realize how significant each of these moments truly are... and as you read more, these pieces of the story come together forming a scenario that gives such a raw, honest portrayal of an incredibly relevant issue. I'm not mentioning it on purpose because I don't want you to expect it. The fact that it's unexpected for you as the reader is very important because it's also unexpected for the heroine. As she begins to realize what kind of situation she's in, so do you. And this realization very much allows you to experience her journey with her. Rather than trying to sugarcoat my thoughts, I'm just going to be completely honest. I was 100 percent team Ryle from the very first time we met him. Just like Lily, I fell in love with every word and every gesture that rolled off of his body. I. WAS. HOOKED. It also didn't help that I kept fantasizing Doctor Mike as Ryle Kincaid. *heart eyes emoji* I loved his ambition. His personality. His confidence. To be honest, I think I might've loved Ryle even more than Lily did but that's another story for another day. That more than likely explains why I took the second half of this book like a blow to the gut.Finally, I liked that despite all the tragedy throughout the story; we were left with an optimistic end. It's the kind of story that normally ends with ambiguity as far as what the future holds. This gave us a direction to consider, and I liked that. According to Google (all hail Google) less than 2% of the world’s population has red hair, and yet 99.998% of all NA leading ladies do. Just stahp. for the majority of this novel, i DIDN'T like it. i was definitely interested and curious, but i didn't care for the characters as much as i thought i would. i was frustrated and annoyed at the situations, and some of it felt artificial, rushed, and stereotypical. it all seemed so... fictional. usually the romance satisfies me, but even that didn't do it. buuuuuut it wasn't so much that i didn't NOT like it. it was simply okay when i expected it to be ~amazing~. The BEST book this author has ever written. It's so incredibly deep, and sincerely explores a complex struggle between what you feel, and what is real. 5++++++ STARS. Favorite book of the year!!!! There are times I am angry and times I am sad. And then I'm both. And it's the worst, because there is a war raging inside me, and the winner side keeps changing. How is it possible to switch from denial to sorrow to fury to acceptance in a heartbeat?