The course is 12 weeks long; each session is two hours long and is currently run online due to the pandemic. It’s open to any woman aged 16 and above. The course teaches that knowledge is power, and our aim is to give women “Freedom Goggles”, so they can understand abusive tactics and choose healthier relationships. We also help women come to terms with the abuse they have experienced. It can be very therapeutic to talk through your past with those who have similar experiences; it is validating to hear that you are not alone in what you have suffered.”

Of the history of the programme, Ella Tarlton, Casework Co-ordinator at Julian House, said: “The course was developed by Pat Craven who worked as a probation officer with male perpetrators of violence against women and children. After hundreds of conversations with perpetrators she learned that abusive men use the specific tactics to control women and realised this information needs to be shared with vulnerable women. She developed the Freedom Programme to help change, and even save women’s lives and wrote a book in 2008 called “Living with the Dominator” so that the information was accessible to people who could not partake in the programme.” We have recently commissioned the wonderful Offshoot Film Company to animate the entire Freedom Programme.

About the Freedom Programme

Isolates his partner by sulking when our friends come round and refusing to look after the children when we have arranged to go out. He charms our friends and family so they do not believe us. He makes us move away from the people and places we konw. As a result we are completely isolated. The Liar Uses emotional abuse to control his partner by telling us we are stupid, ugly and incompetent. He is unfaithful and he puts us down in front of others, usually using humour. As a result we lose all self-confidence. The Jailer One of our facilitators has been playing one of the animations to the women on her programme every week at the end of each session. Another uses them at the beginning as a 'warm up' to help to make the session run smoothly. Another of our facilitators uses them for her Freedom Programme for women with learning disabilities. The programme, when provided as an intensive two day course, is also suitable for men, whether abusive and wishing to change their attitudes and behaviour or whether victims of same sex domestic abuse themselves.

The Programme was primarily designed for women as victims of domestic violence, since research shows that in the vast majority of cases of serious abuse are male on female.

The Headworker

To introduce women to community resources such as Women's Aid, the Police Domestic Violence Unit, The Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre, local Colleges etc. perpetrators’ of violence against women and children. For two years I sat among groups of men who had injured, raped or killed their victims. I realised that abusive men use a range of tactics to control women The ‘Rules of the Game’ are the beliefs of The Dominator. This is how he expects women to behave! It is also how he thinks he should be able to behave! The Dominator has hundreds of ‘rules’. Lets look at a few of them: The programme also aims to illustrate the effects of domestic abuse on children and assist women in recognizing potential future abusers. It also aims to give women the power to leave an abusive relationship.

I may be unfairly rating this book a 3 star but I think that’s because I was reading this from a slightly different perspective. From an unbiased perspective, this is an incredibly important and useful book and should be read by all women starting from college age so that they can avoid relationships with abusive men. I recognise a lot of characteristics of abusive men in this book that were present in men I have dated in the past- and I found that disturbing. A woman should never be allowed to leave or end a relationship, no matter how abusive or violent it is. Makes the abuse seem less than it was my using the “only” word. For example, it was “only a slap.” When the “only“ word is used the listener does not really hear the rest of the sentence. He also denies there was any abuse or blames us for it. Many men go to the perpetrator programme asking for help to deal with "this horrible woman who forces me to be violent." He also uses all the excuses we have discussed already. As a result we believe him. The Badfather Ella added: “We have been running the Freedom Programme for over five years and each course can have up to 17 women attending, meaning that over the years we have supported hundreds of women. We can provide advice (although we never tell women to leave a relationship) and refer them to other agencies, legal aid etc. This is now available with the supplementary work book ‘The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’. This workbook makes the Freedom Programme even more accessible."Women are accused of ‘breaking the rules’. we may say ‘NO’!. We may say we are leaving. We refuse to have sex. We go to work. We make friends and go out to see them. It is worth pointing out that women do not actually know what the ‘rules’ are. They change constantly and what we think is a rule, ends up not being a rule. We don’t know what the right thing to say or do is and when we think we have worked it out, we are still wrong – hence the saying ‘Walking on eggshells’! The Freedom Programme is a course run by Julian House and other organisations for women who are in, or have experienced, an abusive relationship. The aim of the programme is to help women understand the beliefs held by abusive men, identify and challenge any shared beliefs and help women come to terms with the abuse they have experienced. Key workers in a variety of fields have told me that they are desperate for a simple tool to use one to one with their service users. I envisage that a worker and 'client' who work through the course together will both become simultaneously enlightened! The course can be used by workers who are dealing with 'perpetrators' and to those who deal with 'victims'.