This was recommended by a facilitator on my employer’s leadership scheme. Rather like that scheme, I’m ambivalent about this book. It is very male. The focus is on men and men’s activity: there is for instance no consideration of e.g. how the England women’s football team has become such a success, having sizeable disadvantages compared to the men’s. Only two activities predominantly associated with women are mentioned: ballet and gymnastics. Both of these are disparaged: the first fir limiting creativity in favour of conformity (through discussions primarily of men’s experience) and the second fir bullying. I’m not saying those things are not true: however I would dispute categorically the impression that these features are limited to female-associated activities, and I would also question whether men are the ones primarily or exclusively damaged. That his 6-year-old daughter did not enjoy her ballet classes is not reason to condemn a whole art form anymore that a friend’s son’s bad experience at junior county level sport means that sport has no value either. Just a smidgeon more self-awareness of the banal limitations of statements such as ‘women do more team-building with conversation’ would have been good too: why is this the case? Essential femininity? Careful socialisation? Is there anything men’s teams might care to learn from that? We leak energy and focus by obsessing over the unsafe environment and relations around us and the pressure builds. Visioning is an essential ingredient in our super strength of creating teams. It gives people a chance to visualise and imagine what they’re working towards. We need to work from purpose to vision, to mission, and then to plan. Only 3% of leader’s time today is spent visioning, but 75% of workers expect their leaders to paint pictures of the future. The powerful metaphor it introduces to explain the meaning of ‘whakapapa’ (a concept held by Aotearoa New Zealand Māori) is so clear and meaningful, it surely can be used to make a difference. This concept is universal but in many cultures undervalued or even obscured by modern life. Players for a team, for example, may be given their national team shirts and asked to write on them what it personally meant to play for that team. This visual activity is effective.

What we don’t do is try and build some so-called performance environment and then clean it up afterwards.” It is a phrase I remember Southgate using during his first World Cup campaign as England manager in 2018, confusing journalists who had asked him what success looked like, expecting him to respond with a World Cup finishing position. Eastwood reframes what ambition and success in sport should be. In some ways, Eastwood, who has also worked with the British Olympic Association, the Royal Ballet School and the command group of Nato is the secret weapon. On Thursday, in the aftermath of Wednesday’s victory, he was in dialogue with Southgate. Why would you turn a blind eye to such a valuable lessons within our Us story? When a culture’s resilience is questioned through a mistake or malpractice, the story must be “carved into the walls” so that our descendants can learn from them. People are scared of having emotional conversations … some leaders will run a mile from that. But when there’s a lot of emotions, it’s great, we can learn to optimise that. Teams need emotional energy.”When the sun shines on us we are alive, we are strong. For we have had passed down to us a culture that immerses us in deep belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of belonging. We feel safe and respected. We share beliefs and a sense of identity with those around us and this anchors us. We share a purpose with them. We share a vision of the future. We fit in here. Rituals and traditions tie us together. The experiences and wisdom of those who walked in the light before our time are passed on to us.” But the England of Sterling and Kane, of Saka and Maguire is a very different one to Ottoway’s, surely? They are not trying to replicate anything from the past, Eastwood says. “We should be proud of our history, understand and respect it, but ultimately this is about us, a very diverse, young, technically different group of people. It’s about inspiration and a sense of belonging to motivate us to create our own story.”

Creating an Us story involves immersing yourself in three dimensions of an Us story: the past, present and future. His only adjustment when working in individualistic cultures such as in the UK and United States is to have two conversations early on rather than one: “Firstly, about what we want to achieve together as a team; secondly, why this is good for each individual … I strongly believe you focus on building a healthy environment, and then we fine-tune performance from there.A more inclusive approach is possible. It can be as simple as a belonging cue like coming over and sitting with a teammate at meetings (as a senior) through to asking for everyone’s views in team meetings. Throughout his Ryder Cup captaincy, Donald repeated: “My main job is to create the environment for these guys to thrive in.”

We have become disconnected from each other. It all started with the Industrial Revolution where wee moved from workers possessing multiple skills and dynamically performing them, to production lines where rows of workers each performed a distinct role. Somewhere along the line here we’ve lost our humanity.So, for the first of our Leading and Learning Webinar series, host Paul Spiers, founder of the New P&L Brand Purpose Institute, sat down with Owen to talk about what schools need to understand about belonging, how to make the required changes and how to sustain it.

Aspects of Owen's unique approach include: finding your identity story; defining a shared purpose; visioning future success; sharing ownership with others; understanding the 'silent dance' that plays out in groups; setting the conditions to unleash talent; and converting our diversity into a competitive advantage. Because I’ve not got any baggage about how I was educated or prepared for it, I’ve just had completely fresh eyes, looking carefully at what shifts things and what doesn’t.”Belonging is a vital book for our disconnected and leaderless times. It’s one whose lessons should be taught in schools across the world, because the power of creating a sense of togetherness could help heal our fractured society. Once language emerged, Homo sapiens began congregating around the campfire to tell and share the Us story. This helped to promote our survival by keeping the group bonded together and aligned in the face of surrounding challenges. Humans need to belong, it is an element of performance. “We try to signal to players that this is a place where you belong. You are respected, this is a safe place, we want you to be yourself and express yourself.” For Eastwood, that crosses a red line. “I’d hope that people would see Gareth Southgate and Luke Donald and people like that and go: ‘I’d like myself or someone I care about to be in that environment. I think it would be a healthy place for them.”’ In whakapapa terms, as the sun arrives on each generation their high purpose is passed on to them and they ask the question: what do we need to do to promote the wellbeing of our people? Therein lies their mission.