Sleeping with Chloe, while understandably hurtful to Rachel, is really incidental here and symptomatic of their poor communication,” he says. I see this in couples all the time: They end up fighting about some transgression that’s actually beside the point.”

Another reason McNeil argues the duo wasn’t on a break? Ross’s actions at the bar. “I don’t think his heart told him that he was on a break,” she says. “When you watch his mannerisms and how he’s just kind of responding and reacting to stimulus coming at him (an attractive girl, music, alcohol, etc.), I don’t think his heart thought he was on a break.” It’s true, Ross does initially reject Chloe’s advances, which could be interpreted as him knowing that hooking up with another woman would be cheating. It's as if the series finale of Friends brainwashed all of us into thinking that Ross and Rachel were the ultimate romantic couple, and we could all be happy with their happily ever after ending if we just can get over that one sh--ty thing he did that one time, as if that were the only sh--ty thing he ever did. If we all just keep yelling "they were on a break!," is it somehow less bad that he slept with Chloe hours after Rachel declared the break, then tried to lie about it? Do we just like yelling TV quotes? Do we just like yelling in general? Yoon adds that the reason they both chose being right may have been because they felt they were losing their individual senses of self in the relationship.What they were experiencing in that argument is a term that we call ‘flooding and flooded,’ also known as a fight-or-flight or freeze response,” McNeil tells us. Apparently, one of the things that happens when you’re in this mode is that your prefrontal cortex (a part of the brain linked to decision making and impulse control) shuts down. “Rachel was clearly in a ‘flooding and flooded’ moment and needed to take a pause, but was not able to look forward and realize there would be consequences,” says McNeil. When she suggests they take a break, this, in turn, sends Ross into a ‘flooding and flooded’ state (which is why he didn’t ask for clarification). Translation? Neither of them could make a good decision—or any decision at all—about their relationship.

So, let’s put TV's favorite couple in the hot seat. Here's how Sam would work through the issue if Ross and Rachel were sitting in his office. To psychotherapist Yoon Kane, LCSW, founder and CEO at Mindful Psychotherapy, Ross and Rachel shouldn’t have been fighting over who was right and who was wrong. There’s no “winner” in their argument because neither of them fought fairly. But first, here’s a bit of a refresher. In the episode, Ross and Rachel get into a fight when she bails on their anniversary dinner to stay late at work. They both have valid reasons to be upset: Ross thinks she’s prioritizing work over their relationship, while Rachel thinks he’s disrespecting her newfound career independence. There’s also the fact that Ross is jealous of Mark, Rachel’s handsome male coworker, and constantly questioning his motives. You can’t choose being right over the relationship. Either you’re going to choose the relationship and the connection, or you’re going to choose to be right,” Kane tells Cosmo. “In this situation, what they’re choosing is to be right.” Doormats are the perfect way to decorate your porch. They also make great gifts for Weddings, Housewarming, Birthdays, and more!I hate to defend Ross, but I have to... They were 100 percent on a break,” our executive producer declared. “Rachel suggests it, and then when Mark comes over, she tells him, ‘I said we should take a break.’ She is totally aware of what she said! Should he have slept with the weird girl hours after the breakup? No. But I sort of get it. We just broke up and your boss is the person who’s consoling you? Where’s Monica? Where’s Phoebe? I get that Ross has a lot of trust and jealousy issues, but I also feel like that’s a bit odd.” She makes a good point; it does seem strange that the Friends crew are always at the apartment…except when you need them to be. Couldn’t Rachel have found someone else’s shoulder to lean on?