However, we respect that many people identify with this profile and have formed a rich community and body of resources to help others overcome demand avoidance. Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is a condition that is characterized by a avoidance of everyday demands and activities. They include (but are not limited to) planning ahead, being flexible, always having an exit plan, offering choice and building a trusting relationship. If he has had too many commands before coming to school and has reached his limit, this would make sense! Pushing yourself to meet demands in high stress times can cause burnout, and then you’ll get nothing done.

Trying these methods and scratching your head as they fail to work can be one way of discovering whether you are living with a child with PDA. Being a mum to a teenage PDA son is life-changing, and at times, utterly heart-wrenching experience. But when we are disturbed or pulled out of that flow, it is a very jarring experience and can cause an explosive reaction for anyone who has disturbed us or tried to pull us out of it. I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to gain an insight into how this profile impacts upon individuals, their families and those who work with or are involved in their education. The central difficulty for people with PDA is their avoidance of the everyday demands made by other people, due to their high anxiety levels when they feel that they are not in control.

Anxiety levels high when out of control hence when fell over because he was pushed and laughed at = not in control= high anxiety = behaviour issue. As an adult now, we have some terrible interactions- he questions nearly every directive I give,no matter how small. This make much more sense as there are some mornings he comes in with a certain look, and I know he is going to have a tough day. But PDAers want to talk about it; unpick it right back to its root cause; what is the reason that narcissists need the input they need from others? Hi, Thank you for your lovely post :), We have two daughters too and have been struggling for the last 8 years with twin 1.

If they like being in the garden; cordon off a section of the garden that they can do what they like with (as long as it’s not very dangerous to themselves or others). There will be a deep desire to learn everything there is to know about that person; who they are at their core, what they do, etc.Harry has given me the gift of forgiving myself for being “bad” my entire life and forcing myself into situations so that I could be “good. You have given me a great resource for overcoming my many “blah” days and for retuning my mindset when it strays into the mental brambles of imposter syndrome and self-distraction; reminding me that I too have something valuable to contribute to the lives of others, instead of sinking into the disillusionment that chains my mind and prevents me from following my passions. For more reading, please see this post of mine that reviews Books about the Pathological Demand Avoidance profile of Autism. A really salient example is a woman who was told by her boss (along with an entire workforce, so not just personally to her) to try and get bathroom trips in at a certain time (to reduce lines during breaks that prevented everyone from being able to go). Eloquent and insightful, The PDA Paradox will bring listeners to shock, laughter and tears through its overwhelming honesty.

Personally, I find it increasingly frustrating when I want to do something (like sitting and writing this article) but just CAN’T. When others react badly to the PDAers panic or defence reaction (that often they have no control over), this can cause damage to their self-esteem, mental health, and emotional wellbeing, as they are being punished for something they had no control over—punished for trying to protect themselves from a perceived threat. When we are doing something that is exactly what we want to do when we want to do it and that we have control over, it is the most euphoric feeling; like the stars have aligned. She kept developing UTIs and even had some accidents at work because she just couldn’t stand feeling like she had to use the restroom on a schedule.It focuses solely on demand avoidance which, when you look at a PDA individual’s neurology and needs, is only a small part of what makes us who we are. I use a variety to not get bored: kettlebells, do yoga, pilates, HIIT workouts, weighted hula hoop, rebounder etc.

Its still rational – as an autistic person, I shouldnt have to operate in the world like this, simple and necessary things shouldnt be like this – its wrong. It covers his experiences of finishing school, holding down a job and forging meaningful relationships. Directly linked to our need for freedom and autonomy, it is what makes us safe as; when you are in control, you have the freedom of choice, movement, and when others are in control, it can impact our freedom and autonomy.

Sometimes these things feel like a violation of my will, or my body’s boundaries, even when that doesnt make sense – just the bodily experience of this demand, choice or need (aka demand from body) makes it impossible. Some of those skills are teachable over time, but the fact that some are missing or not developed is an inherent characteristic of the autism diagnosis. Our team offer children a safe place to explore their feelings and experiences whilst being offered support througn on expert understanding of autism and neuro-diversity. Systems are the same, just on a larger scale – they impose rules, procedures, and routines that often are not entirely fit for purpose and PDAers are highly skilled at seeing these faults and will strive to destroy them so that they can be rebuilt in a far more efficient and effective way.