Why? Unlike your vagina, the anus does not self-lubricate—nope, not even a little bit. "No matter how turned on you may be, there is nothing to prevent unwanted friction unless you add lube," says Amy Boyajian, CEO and co-founder of sexual wellness boutique Wild Flower. "Not only does this help to prevent painful microtears, but it will make anal sex way more pleasurable."

Another type? Oil-based lubes (think coconut oil), which have a nice slippery texture but typically can't work with latex condoms (because they weaken the barrier). And then there are hybrid lubes—a mix of water- and silicone-based—which offer the best of both worlds and can typically be used with everything. Luna Matatas is a sex and pleasure educator based in Toronto, Canada, who coined Peg the Patriarchy and hosts b-Vibe's The Plug podcast. Don't let the (kinda hilarious) name fool you: This stuff is A+ for female butt play, too. The formula inside the tub of "margarine" is a mix of coconut oil, silicone, and other vegetable oils and maintains a similar consistency to what you'd expect from a spreadable butter.

Desensitizing butt lubes: these can dull or remove pain sensation altogether, which can prevent you from noticing potential injury. When you don’t know what your butt can and cannot handle, that’s when problems arise THE REVIEW: As one person writes, "By far the best anal lube we’ve used to date. Water-based yet still viscous enough to use for longer running anal play. A little goes a long way." This water-based lube is made without parabens for a more ~natural~ experience, and the simple pump top makes it *so* easy to dispense (though it also comes in a smaller, travel-friendly version). Plus, you don't have to worry about clean up, because this formula won't stain your stuff. And though this formula is relatively simple and non-allergenic, it does contain glycerin, so it's not a great choice for vulvas.

Once you have mastered dilating (using anal dilators sequentially to increase both the skin and muscle in diameter) and you feel ready for the real thing, plan ahead so that you have plenty of lube on hand (and elsewhere). Most tops just slap some lube on themselves and think that’s enough. Trust me, it’s not. LET'S GET right to the point: if you're not using lube during sex, you're missing out—plain and simple. Why? Lube reduces friction, which, in turn, increases pleasure. Lube is great for all kinds of sex, but when it comes to anal sex, lube is absolutely a must-have. The anus doesn't self-lubricate, which makes it difficult and painful to insert anything—from a pinky finger to a penis—without some extra help. Water-based lubricants are completely toy-friendly and a great start to butt play. They are condom-safe, so they are also a great way to go from toy to the real thing seamlessly. They usually also contain natural ingredients that many people love.is some pain to be expected? i know when i first started using larger toys (10-13 inch circumference) the first few times i couldn't get them in because it was a feeling i didn't experience with smaller toys so i didn't put much force trying to get them in, turns out that "feeling" is normal and i pushed pasted it and am used to it now, i'm wondering if it's something similar with my current situation? although i definately felt minor instances of pain tonight trying to get past sigmoid, and i am slightly sore when i stretch or push down on rectum/colon from my front side And while there's no ONE lube that's best for anal sex, some are better than others. Silicone-based lubes are great for P-in-the-B action, since they're silky and long-lasting but can't be used on silicone toys, Boyajian explains. Water-based lubes, on the other hand, work well with silicone toys and are easy to clean off sheets and clothes, but they may be less luxurious feeling.

If shower sex is your thing, you need this lube from Maude in your life. It's a paraben-free, silicone-based lubricant that you can use shower (and underwater) to keep things friction-free and extra slippery. Plus, the gorgeous bottle easily fits in with the rest of the products in your shower. Silicone does have its downsides though: it stains sheets and lingers on surfaces (and people). Put a towel down or throw “play sheets” over the bed before things get going. Make sure to wash your hands thoroughly before touching items in your bathroom, too. Oil lubes Just like when finding a good lube for your vagina, it's best to avoid products with perfumes or scents, as these oft times will serve as irritants. As Babeland brand manager and sex educator Lisa Finn points out, the lining of your rectum is very good at absorbing stuff, so you don't want any unnecessary alcohol, flavorings, and artificial dyes. And while petrochemicals (like propylene glycol, polyethylene glycol, or petroleum) and preservatives (such as parabens, benzyl alcohol, or citric acid) aren't *totally* necessary to avoid, they can cause itching or irritation, especially if you have sensitive skin. Avoid anything "numbing" THE REVIEW: " Makes your pleasure feel like satin," one reviewer notes. "I sometimes deal with friction, especially with internal toys, and this really helps. It adds more sauciness to the pleasure you already feel!"This oil-based lube is made with coconut oil and organic silicone, so it will last a ridiculously long time without reapplication. Because it's oil-based, it's not suitable for use with latex or polyisoprene condoms, but you can use it with your silicone-based toys, which is a major win. Also important: There's also a water-based spin-off formula if you dig the idea but want something usable with latex condoms. It's your choice what you do, but just be very careful. Inserting toys that far into you is not recommended and it really is testing limits of your anatomy. No matter how flexible your toy is and how much you prepare there is a risk of damaging the colon or bowel perforation, resulting in an emergency hospital admission. Don't be afraid to reapply "as soon as it seems like it's drying out and there's more friction," Vrangalova adds. "Keep the lines of communication with the receptive partner open. Encourage them to let you know when they feel more is necessary." Lube is a bottom’s best friend. Rectums can't secrete their own lubrication like vaginas do--lubes fulfill that function. With no shortage of choice out there, finding the right one for you—especially if you’re just starting out bottoming—is key to keeping things safe, friction-free and fun in the bedroom. This guide is to help get your head around what lube to use, how often to use it and what types you should definitely avoid. First off: lube means lube (and less definitely isn’t more)