Even in our adulthood, we might picture ourselves as heroes in our story – occasionally villains perhaps. Certainly we might wish for someone to come and rescue us (for parents, this may not be a knight in shining armour but a very kind fairy godmother). You don’t need to have been following Alice’s Summer Parenting Diaries on LinkedIn, to be well aware of the acute pressures at play for parents as we battle through until September. To help smooth your summer - and beyond - the Step Up Club has invited clinical psychologist and author of Parenting for Humans: How To Parent The Child You Have As The Person You Are, Dr Emma Svanberg a vital, one off workshop.

From an evolutionary perspective, it is not surprising that many of us felt so overwhelmed. Despite the common idea that modern family life consists of small, independent units, the reality is that we would often benefit from help from others to raise our offspring. For much of human history, extended families provided that help. In contemporary industrialised societies, where smaller family units are common, teachers, babysitters and other caregivers have allowed us to replicate that ancient support network. It sometimes feels like parenting advice is being offered every time we log on to our socials or read magazines, not to mention by well meaning friends and family! How do we know what advice we should be taking? Dr Svanberg's warm, clear words have a powerful way of cutting through the noise to meet parents where they're at. Emma's non-judgemental, compassionate approach finds us seeking out her fantastic tools and insights, and feeling supported in parenting our children. This book is a gift for parents, and has the power to impact the generations to come, as she works alongside us to grow in confidence and thrive in our parenting. -- Anna Mathur So much of my work is about understanding the influence of your childhood on your adult life, and of courseboth my parents influenced my career. My dad wasa psychologist who worked in infant mental health. I was really privileged to meet and learn fromhim andhis colleagues in my teenage years. Although at the time I had no intention of becoming a psychologist myself, this sparked a lifelong interest in the importance of parents and how influential our early years are. My mum has been a huge influence too- she was a social worker and then foundeda charity in Newcastle. So, we were raised with pretty strong values of social justice and public service.These two strands from my parents have woven through my own career. There are many parenting experts out there – speaking from professional or personal experience (or both). Before accepting their advice, ask yourself why you are giving them authority over your decision making. Experts (me included!) don’t know you or your family – what they can offer is generalised information which you can apply in a way that fits your individual circumstances.We are clearly different. For most of our time on Earth, humans have lived in extended family units, where mothers would have received assistance from many other family members. In many contemporary human societies, this is still the case. Human fathers are often involved in raising offspring, although the extent of paternal investment varies quite a bit across societies. Infants also receive input from a variety of other relatives, including older siblings, aunts and uncles, cousins and, of course, grandparents. Even small children can play a vital role in helping to sustain and protect younger ones. In such a setting, the burden of looking after children very rarely falls onto one person alone. To meet our child or children where they are, and as who they are, we need to let go of ideas of success and failure. To let go of the idea that parenting is an achievement. A parent is the person we are – all of us, our whole selves. The bits we like, the bits we wish weren’t there and the many in-betweeny bits. And we parent our child, as the person they are (and, crucially, not the person we wish they were). But at some point in our parenting, we will find ourselves face to face with these stories – and the assumptions they contain. We might challenge them, and create new stories. My name is Eran Magen. I believe in relationships, and I believe in people. I consider it my life’s mission to help people have better relationships – with each other, and with themselves. The typical arrangement for humans is not a single pair raising their young in isolation, she explains. Instead, we usually need and receive help when it comes to raising children. Nor is the idea of women as mothers and homemakers as traditional as it is sometimes made out to be. In historical and contemporary subsistence societies, women play a significant role in producing for their families: women are breadwinners, too.

Our aim is to help our audience find a wide range of books and resources to help with their mental health and wellbeing, or share experiences that are useful to others But what is parenting? It is the act of bringing up a child. It is getting to know that child – a whole, vibrant and fascinating human being – and spending a lifetime with them. Parenting is not something we do. It is one part of a relationship that we have. Our child is the other part of that relationship.

What advice would you give to a new expectant mum to help manageher stress and anxiety, and to feel empowered in the delivery room and beyond? Getting to know ourselves can be hard work, particularly when we are sleep deprived and life is demanding already. But when we reflect on who we are, the values we hold and why, we come to our parenting with more honesty. We can make conscious choices about our family life.