I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.” – Alyson Noel Moving on, as a concept, is for stupid people. Because any sensible person knows grief is a long-term project. I refuse to rush. Let no man slow, speed, or fix. --- Max Porter

Those we love don’t go away, they walk beside us every day…unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear.” — Unknown A beautiful story of grief, scars that deep love leaves behind, the crashing waves of sadness that overwhelm you sometimes.I may be thrilled I am in remission, then my blood draw stats begin to plummet, and fear grips my heart. No, I will never reach full acceptance of any of these losses. But I am not drowning either. I sink under when another dear friend passes. I still feel pain on every Mother’s Day and on her birthday. I tread water and mourn. But the point is one I think all of us cancer survivors and anyone who is suffering from a loss knows – no matter the loss we suffer, we try not to drown permanently, we keep treading water, we sink and rise to the top, and we move on. We do not berate ourselves for not “accepting” our loss, but we praise ourselves for learning to swim and moving our bodies against the tide. Grief is typically conceptualized as a reaction to death, though it can occur anytime reality is not what we wanted, hoped for, or expected.” The families of those struggling with loss may benefit from knowing how to handle waves of grief as they come up. Unfortunately, many family members and other loved ones find themselves feeling frustrated and at their wit’s end because they don’t know what to do to help their loved ones.

Getting professional grief counseling at any stage in the grieving process has markedly improved the grief experience in bereaved individuals. With proper guidance, a person suffering from debilitating grief can better handle how they process their grief and react to it. We bereaved are not alone. We belong to the largest company in all the world–the company of those who have known suffering. Positively directing your energy from anger toward action, e.g., raising money for a cause, running a race, building a memorial, doing physical work, or participating in sports. However, after my accident, I was unable to perform or play my instrument. I was out of work and I had lost all confidence in myself and my abilities, felt lost and with no direction. Grief is painful. There's no other way to get past the sometimes excruciating pain other than by allowing yourself to feel it. Once you go through the most painful part of your grief, you'll emerge a different person with a renewed sense of resiliency and a different outlook.How we come out of our grief enables us to begin again with a renewed mind-body and spirit, feeling the purpose and the wonder of life itself. The first time I read this particular post was months before my husband passed away. Someone had shared it on FaceBook after the death of an acquaintance. I remember thinking how beautiful it was, how authentic it felt. But even though I was moved by it in light of the death of someone I knew and once worked together, I never realised how deeply I would come to related to it just less than a year later. While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.” Grief's ongoing nature is sometimes difficult for people to accept. As humans, welike when things are simple, resolvable, and curable, so we try and fix the things that we perceive to be broken. People often try to fix or cure other people's grief, which can be frustrating, but Ilike to believe that most people are well-intentioned. Grief is just one of those experiences that people seldomtruly getunless they've felt its miserable sting.

The grieving process can feel like different-sized ocean waves that continue to hit us as ebbing and flowing tides of grief. We don't know where it originated and I don't know who wrote it but the following resonated deeply with me. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor even touched, but just felt in the heart.”Waves of grief can make you feel like you’ve failed at healing, and they can threaten your emotional and psychological wellbeing if allowed. Those who have sufficient experience in dealing with grief understand that waves of emotion come and go, and that they’re not permanent. How to Deal With a Wave of Grief