At the center is protagonist Chandler Morrison who is often seen grappling with her own personal demons while attempting to cope with the death of her mother. Through its exploration of mental health issues, it brings attention to how we can find strength within ourselves instead of relying solely on external sources for comfort or relief. Exploration of Human Emotion His humor is subtle and had me smiling to myself many times before disembarkation. Okay, before I go on, I should warn you that this next part is what most people would consider to be gross or appalling. If you were expecting fifty shades of softcore mommy porn, you’re going to be disappointed. Ultimately, Dead Inside encourages readers to think critically about their own beliefs while offering insight into the strengths and weaknesses of both spiritual and secular perspectives. Conclusion

Through its protagonist’s journey from darkness to light, it suggests that even in times of despair one can find a way to liberation. I know many people who read this book never heard of Straight Inc. I keep hearing it’s hard to read. Please, read it anyway. Take this book seriously because kids are STILL being subjected to abusive “troubled teen programs." And, like Straight survivors, some survivors of other programs are also walking away with PTSD because of the “treatment” they received. I received this in exchange for an honest review from NetGalley. Thank you to the author, Cyndy Drew Etler, and the publisher, Sourcebooks Fire, for this opportunity.

Character Study

This book is especially for those who favored books like The Bell Jar in high school (or who currently favor such fare). Cyndy PROVOKES the reader into feeling right along with her, particularly when you're filling in any blanks in her story with your own. You don't need to have been a victim of sexual abuse, or have tried drugs... I was to the outside world a goody-two-shoes in high school but I felt separated from my peers by a vast distance despite my greatest longings to fit in. I had beef with my own mom over her boyfriend and who she became after my parents' separation (and later divorce). I had all the makings of feeling totally isolated and depressed and even a bit angry. Cyndy conjures all those feelings with her writing, which has a zip and a zing and is the voice of many an angsty teen today. Cyndy Drew Etler's been through hell. And she came out of it and had to learn how to survive the aftermath. She's turned that hell into art that makes the rest of us feel less alone. I became Cyndy's friend because of her book. I read an early self-published version. This one? It's tight, beautiful and epic. I want everyone to read this book.

Honestly, DEAD INSIDE has a Tarantino-esque quality about it in the sense that it is SO over-the-top offensive, SO over-the-top disgusting that it's *almost* funny. As I read the harrowing true story of Cyndy Etler's time in the Straight Inc. program, I felt as I had when I read Garrard Conley's brilliant memoir Boy Erased: floored, aghast, enraged. A memoir of Cyndy Etler's time in the "rehabilitation" centre for "wayward" and "druggy" youths, The Dead Inside is an incredibly detailed, eye-opening, disturbing read that brings to light a very troubling so-called recovery program that existing only decades ago in North America (...and one that perhaps not many know about). What's even more frightening is that the U. S. government endorsed/recommended the Straight organization as a safe and helpful place for teens.

Conclusion

I made a lot of faces while reading this book and honestly, it totally reminded me of the SAW movie franchise. You know, you go into these gory horror movies seeing insane, gruesome, violent, crazy death traps that each new one introduced is worse than the one before until you get to the final, craziest trap of them all. “Dead Inside” reminded me of that as just when I thought no way does this book get even crazier and gorier it sure enough did. Even the ending, with an interesting plot twist, was a solid way to end this strange book. Just like in those SAW movies, Morrison left the absolute worst for last and my goodness, it’s beyond demented. I was curious as to how all this would end and even I didn’t see that coming to the point where yeah, you finish it and are left wondering what the hell you just read. It’s a feeling that’s hard to explain but let’s just say, you feel guilty for reading this and will want to read a book to cleanse yourself because it’s that grimy and obscenely sexual. Besides that, as a metalhead, I did enjoy the Cannibal Corpse (fitting) reference as I love that death metal band. Morrison’s writing style is pretty good and honestly, this book will take you into the mind of a psychopath, a sociopath, basically someone that would have their own documentary that would be even crazier and creepier than anything you’ll see about Jeffrey Dahmer. The Dead Inside is a compelling memoir written by the author Cyndy Drew Etler. Cyndy was a troubled teen in the 80's who had some experiences that aren't all that uncommon. She was making wrong choices while trying to find her place in the world. She spends some of her time smoking weed and drinking alcohol with her friends, until she finally runs away from home because she just can't take her family anymore, especially her step-dad, Jacque. There were things going on in that house that no child should ever have to succumb to. After making the decision to enter Foster Care, Cyndy finally has some peace. She's able to still see her friends, have a safe environment and doesn't have to deal with the turmoil from home. It's not long after that, at the age of 14, her mother decides to throw her into a drug rehabilitation for throwaway kids who are deemed out of control. Cyndy is told that she is under evaluation for three days and she's counting down the minutes to when she can leave and she'll do whatever it takes, including lying. Straight, Inc. will now be Cyndy's home for 16 months.