What if we could hold space for women who have been harmed, who have been humiliated, and who have been silenced? Lament alongside them? Ensure them that they are seen, that their stories matter, and that they will be treated with the utmost care? What if our churches, kitchen tables, and faith gatherings were the safest of places for them to process those experiences? What if silence weren’t spiritual? What if we not only listened but also committed to the process of healing? Of wholeness?” Prey Tell offers an urgent word to followers of Jesus, challenging the church to believe women and form cultures that protect the vulnerable, advocate for victims, and practice transparency. If you care about the church's culture and witness, buy Prey Tell in bulk."

Before bedtime: Many people find that reading before bedtime helps them unwind and relax, which can promote better sleep. It looks like I am in the minority so far, but this was shallow and bland. Spoilers ahoy as I break down the issues. One of the most valuable aspects of this book is how Bluhm emphasizes just how subtle abuse, manipulation, and sexism can be. This cannot be overstated, and she provides solid research and plenty of examples of narcissism, misogyny, benevolent sexism, patriarchy, victim blaming, and more. The subtly can be confusing, for victims and bystanders alike. Bluhm encourages truth-telling, advocacy, and justice for the sake of the vulnerable. No one ever complained about this before—are you sure this isn’t just a personal issue or vendetta? Give us facts, not emotions.”

Reviews

As the second youngest Ravage brother, I’ve spent my entire adult life rectifying our tainted family name and keeping my urges behind closed doors. As the second youngest Ravage brother, I've spent my entire adult life rectifying our tainted family name and keeping my urges behind closed doors.

Ms. Bluhm speaks directly to the Christian church, which has since the Biblical times silenced women who were abused, whose names were tainted in history due to men in authority taking advantage of them. Today, we still see in the news powerful pastors and church leaders who have preyed upon women. She asks us to speak up, like Nathan in 2 Samuel who spoke up to authority (King David) and stood as an ally to Bathsheba. We can also look toward our Savior in how to react in these situations. When Jesus stood by the adulterous women, he did not ask what she did to deserve death by stoning, he drew a line in the sand between her and the Pharisees (ensuring her physical safety) and he then confronted her harassers and spoke to her with tenderness and compassion. We are to be an ally to women who have been hurt and believe them, no matter what. During your commute: If you take public transportation or have a long commute, you may find it helpful to use that time to read. SO MANY THOUGHTS. First, the writing is engaging and the research is strong. The content is heavy, but Bluhm navigates the subject matter in a really compelling way. Her book is a powerful and convicting read highlighting why we silence women and how to stand up in Christian faith and speak truth to power.

Featured Reviews

The best time to read a book depends on your personal schedule and preferences. Here are some suggestions: I recommend this book to anyone who’s wondered if they should say something. Whether you’re in the clergy, corporate world, or in college — this book is a necessary push to repair broken systems and to use our voices to facilitate healing. What did Prey Tell mean to you? In Prey Tell, Tiffany Bluhm brings passion, insightful research, and biblical conviction to the problem of the harassment, manipulation, and silencing of women. As one who has experienced this treatment while also finding healing and wholeness on the other side, Tiffany is uniquely positioned to help the reader understand not only why and how this abuse happens but also the practical actions each one of us can take to stop it. As a man who serves in leadership, this book will help me to serve as an advocate for the women around me.”—Bobby Arkills, executive director, Tacoma Area Youth for Christ

Faux egalitarianism isn’t enough anymore, but it’s as Tiffany Bluhm says: “Gendered oppression will continue so long as women are the ones tasked with solving the issue, when in reality, this issue exists in large part due to abuse of power rooted in toxic masculinity, not weak femininity.” If you have experienced abuse of any kind, I caution you to read this book with care. While I believe you will feel seen, heard, and affirmed in what you experienced, it might be hard to read at times because it seems like she is telling your story. This book might also help one realize that what one is going through or went through in relationships or in the work place was not normal or healthy but abusive and toxic. Even if you have never suffered abuse, I believe men and women will find this book disturbing because of the truth that is being shared has long been hidden, denied, ignored, minimized, dismissed, excused, etc. and Bluhm breaks down all of those barriers in this brave book. Bluhm writes about how this power imbalance often forces women into silence. They must keep their stories silent or face the loss of the job, finances, and reputation. She relates to readers the story of Christine Blasey Ford, whose long-kept secret of sexual assault was brought into the national limelight largely against her will and has negatively impacted her. Women often stay silent because speaking out is worse. (And if a Republican example offends you, consider the lifelong effect Bill Clinton’s adultery has had on Monica Lewinsky—and how little it has had on Clinton. I’m honestly so obsessed with Chase Ravage that it’s just not even funny anymore. I love his darker side, but what I love most is the way he loves Jules, she brings out his ‘primal’ side and his softer side; the side that is her brothers best friend, the side that she’s been in love with for so long. He’s obsessed with her and he’s wanted her for 9 years, but denied himself because he didn’t think himself worthy, but when he finally ‘snaps’ and allows himself to have her; it’s explosive. As a survivor of abuse and exploitation, I have discovered the undeniable power of breaking the silence. Vocalizing our experiences and pain is a necessary step toward healing and freedom. In Prey Tell, Tiffany provides readers with two invaluable gifts: brilliantly excavated insight into the systems and practices that silence women, and a roadmap to finding our voices and helping others to find theirs. This timely and important work is sure to open eyes, shatter barriers, and unleash justice.”—Harmony Grillo, author of Scars and Stilettos; founder of Treasures

The last part is about what we can do to change and, frankly, it’s disheartening that Bluhm must use so many words to explain what should be self-evident. Perhaps most powerfully, she writes that the emotional/physical/sexual abuse of women is not just a woman’s problem. It is a man’s problem. It is decidedly not enough for men to not harass, assault, silence, slander, and destroy women. Male allyship for gendered equality is absolutely necessary. Men must not be neutral, but must wield their power to destroy these destructive systems.

This book is incredibly well-researched and full of truth, going into greater detail and shedding more light on a number of prominent sexual abuse cases, and the reality of the high cost to women who bravely come forward to speak up and tell their stories to continue to make society safer for all of us. This book is a must-read in contributing to women being free to offer all that we have to give in society to truly flourish and thrive as God created us to. I hope and pray many women will find their voice and courage in reading this book, to be validated in their experiences, and emboldened to speak out and take action against injustice, whether at home, school, church, the workplace, or in any institution or scenario where women are oppressed. I’ve spent many years healing over the trauma of sexual assault committed after falling prey to such charisma. But until I read Bluhm’s book I had almost forgotten about other traumatic stories from my life—the insidious stories of workplace harassment and the harrowing consequences of speaking up on behalf of myself and others. In what is at once a gut punch to the silencing of women as well as a call to action for the church to create a more just and equitable world, Bluhm leads the way by doing with this book what we all need to do--break the silence, tell the truth, believe women, protect the survivors, and end sexualized violence against girls and women. By illuminating both how predatory behavior occurs and the systemic forces that keep it from being spoken about or believed, Prey Tell reminds us that the church is not absolved from the legacy of sexualized violence, nor is it exempt from the responsibility of repairing unjust systems. The church is precisely the community that needs to be leading the way toward a future where all women are both safe and free." I LOVE Tiffany Bluhm’s writing style in this amazing resource of a book! She seamlessly weaves together her personal experience, other examples of abuse of power and how women have navigated coming forward/being silenced, research/statistics, theological and biblical reflection, and ideas for how we can all work together and speak up when it comes to injustice. While this book can be empowering, enlightening, and healing for women I think it is important that men also take advantage of this resource and not just been seen as a "women's book." Prey Tell is a MUST READ for all. Authors, if you are a member of the Goodreads Author Program, you can edit information about your own books. Find out how in this guide.For too long the voices of women and girls who suffer violence have been marginalized, ignored, or worse, silenced within communities of faith and beyond. The global church has all too often stood by while the stories of the suffering of women at the hands of powerful abusers went untold. Tiffany Bluhm has lived this silence and out of the ashes written a clarion call to action, challenging our culture of deafening silence with her story and wisdom. Prey Tell is an absolute must-read book for our age, breathing courage into survivor and ally alike--reminding the world that silence is not spiritual, and action is not optional." Thoroughly researched and easy to read, this book provides a broad overview of where we are as a culture, why women often remain silent in the face of abuse, and what we can do to make lasting change. Bluhm vulnerably gives us snippets of her own story, which add a certain gravitas to her academic style. One of the most fascinating parts of the book to me was her discussion of the “Just World Theory,” which is essentially the idea that we want to believe that the world is a just, fair place, and that we choose not to believe women who have been preyed upon because we WANT to believe that they somehow deserved what was coming to them. Because if we don’t believe that, it could happen to us or to our daughters. Whoa. So, why does abuse happen? How does it happen? The book presents several well-articulated, thoroughly-researched reasons and connects them with real-world examples. Bluhm navigates her way through complicated and complex subject matter, doing each topic justice without sacrificing readability or relevancy to the reader. The #MeToo movement, racism, or gender inequality could – and have – easily warrant their respective books – but this relatively short work shortchanges none of them. Eight years after Chase Ravage shut her down, Juliet Parker finds herself at her engagement party seeking out the man who still consumes her thoughts, not her husband-to-be.