You should take that as something nice for your ego, enjoy the fact that this woman you perceive to be a total babe has some attraction to you and leave it at that. I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong about your negative points or try to bullshit you into feeling better about yourself; but I can pretty much guarantee that you don’t have perspective on what others like about you – your positive attributes – and I have proof: And that, of course, is a terrible idea. So I guess my question is, if I find myself in a situation with her that is heading for a place I know is wrong, but every cell in my body demands I go with it, how do I generate the willpower to say no? Greater men than I fail at this all the time. Thank you, Discombobulated I realise what you want is incredibly powerful, especially when it drops into your lap and starts to wriggle. In other circumstances, I’d tell you to go for it. And who knows, maybe in the future circumstances will be different. But right now, if you did give in, you’d regret it far more than you’d enjoy it. Trust me: I have been there, done that and printed the t-shirts.

The saying goes “Behind every great man is a woman.” But for Kelly Stark, it’s more like “Behind every great woman’s X-rated snaps is a man.”

See also

Around 11:00 P.M., Robert became sleepy and went inside to go to bed, while Christen and Ted decided to stay in the hot tub. If and when this comes to light, then you will have seriously hurt J, someone who trusts you and who has been a friend to you. That’s a pretty shitty thing to do to somebody you think is a great guy. Now the ball’s in her court. She may pretend she doesn’t remember; you pretend to believe her. Same with if she says it was a joke, you were mistaken or any other variation of “it never happened.” Just go with it. Being “right” in this case is less important than making it clear that you don’t appreciate being put in that position.

Dear Dan: My wife got drunk at a vacation house we rented with a bunch of friends and cheated on me with my best friend in the hot tub. They didn't have sex but they did other things. I wasn't there, but there were eight other people in the hot tub and the jets were on, so no one else saw what was going on "under the water." My wife told me about it afterward and I was hurt but also kind of excited. She proposed we "even the score" by asking my friend and his wife to have a foursome. They agreed but the experience was miserable. My wife and my friend were very into each other and my friend's wife was willing, but I was having a hard time enjoying myself with a woman I had no interest in while my wife did things for my best friend that she would never do for me. She let him come in her mouth, which is something she never lets me do, and she did it right in front of me. Now she says she will do that for me but only if she can keep doing it for him. This seems deeply unfair. We have kids and I don't want to get divorced, but I'm concerned that I'm going to keep getting hurt if I stay. What can I do? I need ... Wedding drama pits sisters against each other as bride wants ‘child-free’ event, the other wants her son there And finally, KMKY, kink might have something to do with why this woman hasn't opened up to you about other parts of her life. Some kinky people prefer play partners who don't know the mundane details of their everyday lives — for some, being known only as a Dom or a sub or an AB or an LG or a no recip oral cum dump latex gimp makes it easier to step into their fantasy role. If that's the case with this woman, KMKY, knowing you know what you know about her — and learning how you came to know it — might wind up disqualifying you as a friend and ruining you as a play partner. Now let’s say that through all of this, L and J manage to pull through L’s infidelity and make things work. One of the things that would almost certainly be part of their reconciliation is ensuring that she wouldn’t make the same mistake again. That means never seeing you again… which in turn would likely mean you being exiled from the social circles where they are fairly prominent. If the thought of your wife cheating turned you on, HOTWATER, you might be able to make this work. And perhaps it does turn you on. You said you were excited when your wife first confessed what she'd done in that hot tub with your best friend, but things went south during the foursome you had to "even the score." Maybe you don't want the score to be even? If the thought of a "deeply unfair" one-sided open relationship turns you on — if the thought of getting to come in your wife's mouth, say, one time for every 10 times your best friend gets to come in her mouth — then you should think about sharing that information with your wife. It could be the start of something big — it could be the start of an invigorating sexual adventure — or it could be the beginning of the end.

Husband’s Friend

Next, you lay down some boundaries with L. You tell her, “Hey, I don’t know what was up with the other night, but that made me really uncomfortable. I like you, but you’re married to J and the way you were acting made me feel awkward around both of you. I don’t appreciate being teased and I don’t want to end up being part of a problem between the two of you.” Hey Discombobulated, I really hope you’re reading this because I am on the other (shitty) side of a rather similar situation to what you just described, and I promise you that it’s not worth it. Take the following as what I wish someone had told me a while ago: