Think about how you can become less controlling and more coaching parents? Write down three actions you can start doing today: one to coach your child emotionally, second – to teach how to behave, and third – to teach a life skill or mastery. Despite the popular idea that we need to 'express' out anger so that it doesn't eat away at us, research shows that expressing anger while we are angry actually makes us more angry." -p. 15 This book changed my relationship with my kids. It gave me a good insight that understanding kids instead of yelling at them changes them so much. My son is so much more cooperative since I started empathizing with him and connecting with him. Thank you Dr Laura. There are two main ways to help him discharge big emotions: tears and laughter. In a nutshell, we need to help a child play when he can and cry when he needs to. I am halfway through Chapter 3... it is going so slow because I have SO many notes that I am making along the way. Great book to help start you on a more peaceful path to non-violent parenting.

Seeing things from my son's point of view no matter how small or petty it seems to my adult mind is helping us both work through those difficult tantrums & times I just want to yell & tell him to shut up! Toddlers don’t enjoy tantrums, their brains are not developed enough to maintain rational control when emotions are high (103) Notes: I like the part about listening to your anger, rather than acting on it. "acting while we're angry...is hardly ever constructive...The constructive way to handle anger is to limit our expression of it" -p. 14 Other assertions, such as that disapproving of a child's emotional expression will teach him/her that (s)he is bad and turn them into a maladjusted adult incapable of interpersonal relationships doesn't even get a citation because obviously that's utter nonsense. Every single person who has ever had a relationship in western civilization has been told at some point in their childhood that they're crying over nothing. The book has many ideas that can help parents stop yelling and over-reacting and really start parenting calmly and effectively, even during stressful situations. From meltdowns and power struggles to outlining more positive ways to deal with unacceptable behavior, the book is a fantastic resource for parents that want to really enjoy parenting and have a house full of truly happy children.How many time parents/ caregivers (and I) have said "I wish kids came with a manual", well now you have the manual! Laura Markham has made it possible. Whether you have an an idea of what you are doing and just want reassurance, or you just don't have a clue and wish for the best possible outcome for your children, Laura Markham has it sussed!

Putting all of Dr. Laura's theories together into some cohesive themes in one place is really useful and practical. I like that she has overarching ideas, but also provides real-world, practical strategies for dealing with our own emotions or certain circumstances. This is going on my must-have list for new parents. I highly recommend this book to anyone that has a toddler or child that causes you stress & anxiety when they have a meltdown & you feel like you will always lose it! sibling relationship throughout your children's lives. I know that I will highly recommend this book to all my clients.What are your “triggers” – what your child does that makes you feel angry and frustrated? How can you be more mindful of them? I am kind-hearted and not a yeller by nature and with my strong willed/high emotional needs child, I was feeling overwhelmed and at the end of my rope. Yelling and spanking were being suggested to me to deal with my son and it didn't feel right and it wasn't working! Now I know that I can be my loving self and I have the tools to work with my son in a way that doesn't ask me to change myself in negative ways (harden my heart and just become more strict, etc.) Thank you. I wish I had found this book when my son was an infant. At least we get to start going in a positive direction at 3 1/2 years. My husband has also completely jumped on board and I am so in love with all the positive changes he has made. Empathic limits has strengthened our entire family relationship. If you're a mom like me, then you need to do yourself and your children a favor and read this book. Life changing! Regulate themselves. “Your own emotional regulation – a fancy way of saying your ability to stay calm – allows you to treat the people in your life, including the little people, calmly, respectfully, and responsibly.” And this, in turn, helps children become emotionally regulated, respectful, and responsible. It all starts with us.